anger

Within My Own

A being sewn with fine broken lace and without any eyes

Worn and torn, thus broken and weathered by years of many lies

Clings onto the forgotten but once noticed shelf just once more

Before the time comes to be shattered by the reality and the floor

 

I dare not speak of the past and the tunes played

But to mention the emotions that filled up this now empty room ,and warmed the hearts of many, once important but now meaningless

Comes now the cold and wicked air of the fallen and betrayed

 

She begs me now not to go back,

But I must travel the past once more

The confidence was there but now today I lack

because I fail to recognize when to shut the door

 

What was now alive is long gone, and dead

As we sing for another day, while someone else loses their head

The unspeakable and unmentionable becomes now our vision

We ignore and feign ignorance to proceed with our own decision

 

Greed is right behind my shoulders

I say that I must not become like the rest of the world

I try to kill the dark behind me but wait another day once more

I ripped the happiest moments from the book of memories

to hold it dearly, but it blocks my path today as huge boulders

 

As you try to lock the door

Something whispers faintly but ever so determined to your ear

"Do not dare forget, but do not be sore."

"The present dies, but a future born does not represent fear"

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Curiosity Killed the Cat

It was a tragedy in making,
Gasping joyfully among sighs.
It was love we were faking,
Gripping between each other’s thighs.


It was just a trial,
Giving me your all.
It was agony and denial,
Gazing at your fall.


It was torture and pain,
Getting all of your fury.
It was all in vain,
Granting me your jury.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I'm not sure what I should say about this, I'm not sure what I want to say either.
I feel like I should bs some metaphor about how I helped a someone with a scientific exploration only to be blamed for everything that they discovered.

I dislike that that I thought I'd never fall into this trap, but more of me just pities them, they must be so consumed to become so hateful.

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Goodby3

 

I've been feeling quite empty these past few nights

Finding myself just laying in bed watching the clock take my time

In life, shouldn't there be more?

Is there something out there I should be looking for?

 

I've begun to develop imaginary friends 

Talking to my crimson walls, and these shadows don't pretend 

I find that if I close my eyes 

I can see the beauty they describe 

 

But when I open them, I see

All the hate, the lies, the greed

So, for now, I think I'm done trying to cope

For now, I've waved the white flag, given up hope

 

And don't tell me I don't know shit or I'm insane

You can't understand how I feel, until you've lived inside my brain

It's intolerable, it's fucking pain

A mess I've made, constant re-arranging 

 

I fucking hate letting go 

But there's no more hands reaching for me to hold

I've never been a quitter, but life shows me no reason to stay

I've been destroyed, inside and out, nothing ever goes my way

 

So tonight, as I've been writing these words

I've realized life is only going to get  worse

And I find myself closer to this basket of knives 

So I bid farewell to whoever reads this, tonight I take my life 

 

 

 

 

 

Who Am I?

I am a shadow, long gone
I am forgotten, disappointments spawn
I am the weeping, in nights silent hour
From society, who savors the sour
I am the dark, stuck within my fears
I am denied, to them and all who hears
I was a dreamer, now hiding within my sleep
From the all of the promises that I can not keep
I am a shadow, long gone

I loved, and I loved you well.
Even after you challenge me hell
I remember, she parted us, you and I
She kissed your cracks, promising you lies
She left you broken, by the dead
But me, I wanted you by my side, to cherish instead




Author's Notes/Comments: 

An old class assignment I digged up.

It was supposed to be more simple and straightforward.

But I remember, I couldn't help myself from twisting it up

 

Which results with this

 

Monsters In The Dark

Now listen to what I have to say

For the wicked hide in the shadows of this day

 

You know nothing of what is of me

You may know the color of my eyes

But not of what they are capable to see

 

Now here, I've warned this upon you

For not every smile is ever true

 

Everything is not set in stone

You may say there is an answer

When nothing is completely known

 

Close your eyes, please understand

That what you may rely on is a blood-thirsty hand

 

Unknown of what they truly are

Watch think before you turn and talk

Someone so close to you can be so far

 

So remember before you go on and say

"But why would anyone do this to me anyway?"

 

Human nature can be full of evil and greed

Unwatched, A monster born within the shadows, full only of self pleasure and need.

To Become

Society's filled so dark
A sickness fit to last
A hasty hungry shark
A one that bites the glass

The air turns a poison mist
and the grass turns to a distant waste
A glare becomes a fist
and then a flower becomes erased











Z Cutter

ZZZZZZ

 

So you feel you are worthless.

 

You hold the knife

and you cut yourself.

 

You say you make the letter

Z.

 

ZZZZZZZZ

 

You watch

the blood...dripping...

 

ZZZZZ

 

You feel worthless,

But if you ever met

and cared for someone,

 

Someone who held the world in the palm

of their hand one day,

 

And the next day

slipped on ice and became 

paralyzed, to the point of 

not being able to go to the toilet,

 

ZZZZZZ

 

If you ever saw the helplessness,

in their eyes,

the physical pain,

the mental pain,

the pain of gut wrenching emotion they feel

to know they can never again hold their wife,

their baby,

their mother,

and have to ask for their diaper changed.

 

ZZZZZZZZ

 

A grown man,

or woman,

to see, hear, empathize with

their feeling of worthlessness,

desire to DIE,

 

UZZZZZZZU

 

And watch them try,

one day at a time,

or one hour at a time,

or even one minute at a time 

 

UUUUUUU

 

And then if you saw them smile,

and their  worthless soul lifted you

higher than any angel's wings,

 

ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

 

THEN,

 

*

 

U

would know,

 

WHAT

 WORTHLESS

IS.

 

Z CUTTER.

 

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

 

.....

Author's Notes/Comments: 

The purpose of "worthless". (written after reading several poems on this site about "cutting" and the "highs" people get from it).

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Don't Tell Me

Here I am. I'm walking down this road again.

The same one I've traveled many times before.

I'm just a man, but you know where I've been

because you're there, pounding on my door...yeah.

 

I'm going away in my mind. I can't take this world anymore!

I've gone astray once again with you right there at the door!

But don't...you...tell me!

 

Don't tell me that you love me once again!

I don't want to hear what a sinner I've been!

Don't tell me that you're here to take me back!

I'm not ready to admit just what I lack!

I hate the man that I have become!

Don't tell me that you are not the Son!

 

Here we are father, fighting once again!

Doing the things that drive us mad!

I'm not perfect, but you're not free of sin!

I tried, but you never let me in!

 

I'm gone away, no forgiveness in me...

but this is not me...

So don't...you...tell me!

 

Don't tell me that you love me once again!

I'm tired of hearing what a failure I have been!

Don't tell me that I'm a worthless man

when you're the one who doesn't have a plan!

I hate the man that I have become!

Don't tell me that I'm not your son!

 

Can I ever forgive you for the way you've made me feel? (I don't know)

Will you ever look at me, and try to find out who I am? (Let it go)

 

I can never be what you want of me! I can never be so blind that I can see!

What is this feeling inside of me?! You're right here, so don't you ever tell me!

 

Don't tell me that you love me once again!

I have to hear what a sinner I have been!

Please tell me that you're here to take me back!

I'm broken now, and we both know that's a fact!

I hate the man that I have become!

Please forgive me because I know you are the Son!

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Just me letting out a lot of anger and frustration. It's pretty easy to lose faith when you're in the middle of a big battle, and someone just keeps trying to knock you down.

Maddness

 

Her eyes have fury in them

 

They are glossed over and red

 

You can see the anger in her eyes

 

She's about to explode

 

She trys to breath

 

In and out

 

Nothing happens

 

She is boiling

 

Red so fierce

 

Can't hold it

 

She's in a rage

 

She's lost all control

 

Cant contain it

 

Fire in her eyes

 

Can't fight it

 

She is on the verge

 

Pushing back

 

She's about to burst

 

She's going insane

 

She burst's into flames

 

She's gone.

 

 

 

 

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