seems like you could fix
my shaky handwriting
just by being able
to read me.
seems like you could make me
love the way
I can’t tell stories.
seems like you could make me
love the way
I’m hopeless more often than not.
seems like
no one would disapprove.
seems like all the
rain’s showered on you
but it’s okay
because the stars can dry
faster than the drops fall.
seems like you could fix
my laugh so
it never falls from the shelf again.
seems like I could
pay for anything
with what you’re worth.
seems like you could fix
my silly little heartbeat
the one that s-
s-
skips here
l-
like a
drum l-
line out of
rhythm.
I have created this voice for you.
Sometimes I lead it over
the cliffs and pools I fall into,
Sometimes I overuse cursive with
the words I cannot make come true,
I have created this voice for you.
I have remade these hands for you.
Leaving the chase behind
as I take my time with forming you,
Winding, shivering, shifting
to tie up something brand new,
I have remade these hands for you.
I have handmade this heart for you.
Everyone else is not enough when
I need words to give them clues,
Everyone else could be enough but
when you sing I don’t need to,
I have handmade this heart for you.
It’s easier to burn than melt…
that’s why I’m standing so messy
in front of this smoke-stained sky.
The air is hot coffee
smoldering in my veins
since I can’t face the ground
that trips me even at my best.
Wasting colors, don’t worry
if the stars are just rhythms now
not explosions we can chase.
Chipped concrete is all I want coating
the nails I’ve waited too long to cut,
the eyes that break stares even when I want to hold them-
this cracked ground is my favorite part of skygazing.
I wish I could be simple but
this place is far from simple
so I breathe in the choking hazards
and take them as part of the view.
knowing you the way I got to, helped me really appreciate the rain pouring down, & to look past the clouds..
I never felt one with the sand until you touched my hand.. even the fireworks weren't ever as breath-taking..
you to me, were like a piece of breathing earth, with eyes, & ears.. a heart.. but too many fears..
I can't say you have much more then me, though.. & it doesn't matter which one of us is less flawed..
I wish I could fly away to a paradise, somewhere i'll finally have all the closure I need... for everything..
I feel like I have to fight with myself everyday.. battle of self esteem, hopes, dreams, disappointments, needs..
I battle to stay awake, & I battle to fall asleep..
wherever did the peace go? whatever happened to the flow...
I got lost in the forest of my mind, trying to become free..
but more then a few of these deeply rooted trees have collapsed & fallen on top of me..
scratching at the dirt, gripping at the grass.. I can't breathe..
is love just as much baggage as hate..? because they both seem to feel equally heavy..
maybe inside i'm just overweight..
maybe that's what i've been seeing..
how can I work from the inside, out..?
how can I prevent these ups & downs..?
do you even know..? I didn't think so..
it's all up to me.
learn to appreciate the rain... even if it's drenching you in pain..
i'll always be your secret..
I can see you falling, piece by piece, withering... like dead petals..
& the vase your dying in, is cracked & worn thin...
you can't elude this fate.. the memory can't be erased..
the gaze of your eyes pushed through the surface of who I am, & what I was..
it was like choking on nails.. I could feel each of my flaws..
epitome of loss...
I was trying to remember why I loved you
It wasn’t for your charm
Or the kisses to my face
I never loved your hummer
It wasn’t for your taste
I hate your smirk
And those dual brown eyes
Your skin is to pasty
Your face is too wide
Your clothes never looked right
And you have no humility
you've always lacked looks
Your attitude is pitiful
And you never had a rebuttal
I don’t particularly like your quirks
And I’ve never admired your drive
You don’t seem very confident
You always have a lie
If I look at the little things
Then I can’t understand why.
But I guess I do know,
I love your fascination
And you’re loving actions
Your dorky sense of hummer
And your original fashion
Your know it all smirk
And your taunting puppy eyes
I love your flawless skin,
and that face that is to wide
I love your endearing clothes
And your lack of insecurities
And how you embrace your humble looks
I love your calm exterior
And that you feel no need for confrontation
I love your annoying quirks
And your overly ambitious drive
You have no need of others approval
And you always come off as shy
You tell me story to impress me
You’re not afraid to cry
In truth you infuriate me
There are many reasons why,
All I know is that I love you,
Your flaws and all
And I’m thankful that you love me
Even though I don't understand why.
you can never find your flaws without someone pointing them out
imperfections can only be spotted by a third party perspective of ones self
well i found mine. it isnt small. i really is my biggest downfall.
i cant show compassion, kindness is absent in my emotions.
why? i cant figure it out.
i figured it was just an insult until i realized it was true,
i cant trust a soul or show sympathy twords another.
and its the one thing i really wish for in another.
treat others how you wish to be treated is the golden rule.
but its broken, because i am broken
because i dont know how, when i try i feel as if i am a fool.
someone show me how? its an irritating trait on both ends.
ill guess i will just have to wait it out.
when all my scars have healed.
until the next me is born.