temptation

Jesus, the Cure for the Soul

Like a dull blade to an unprotected heart, the bittersweet thoughts trickle through my mind like an IV injecting its serum to somehow keep me alive. This IV keeps me holding onto life but it doesn't mask the pain, the temptation, the phobia. I try to stay awake before the anistesia overwhelms my soul, keeping me from understanding what is real and what is fiction. Im in the hospital due to an overdose on emotion. I consumed the fleshly desires like pills fresh out of the medicine cabinet until I could take no more. This high was tempting for more, but its presence was only temporary. I suddenly wake up, lying on the floor in confusion and despair, as if my soul and everything in it was thrown in the trash of incomplete dreams. I panic and begin to run down these winding roads searching for the path He has set for me but i forget to read the signs as i rush pass them and then become lost. I suddenly awake in this hospital bed, opening my eyes to reality. I see Him. I see Him 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is something I had written while in a relationship. I was in college, with many worries and experienced an overflow of emotion. I thought the best way to describe how I was feeling was to relate my emotions to a drug overdose, because like an overdose, the emotion I was facing was paralyzing me and killing my soul. The urge to be liked and to go party in the midst of preparing for med school was a tough temptation to overcome. I was cured of this by finding Jesus. I found him in these trials and he let me to the light. That is the message of this story.

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The Plight of Virtue by Temptation (a dialogue)

Reighns supreme in the surreal 
night dreams inside , running wild fearing 
no living thing. Once again, into the 
wildernesse stark clad with 
ravenous eyes and wreckless.

 It is then that she appeared to him.

Alone in the living forest black 
night shade and wonderment.
Bewilderment rushe forthe o'r 
his braine and gaze her visage in 
amazement.

A slight figure, had she...with a 
graceful feminine beauty delicate 
and wholly woman, with a feline glow
about the eyes. whilst ample bosom 
heaved forth with each passing breathe
between the fullness of her lips
as if to hide the sharpnesse of her teeth.
as she spake:

I know all that you are, were and ever will be....
A courtier and merchant marine from  Great City
, now on dispatch by the 
Royal Command 
Loyal and honest and respected by man....said she 

And woman alike, m' lady.....said he 
Your fairest enchauntresse, who live in the tree
like a siren, perhaps but more serpentine...
why ...pray tell bespeake you of me
     ( but interrupted by she)

Speak not-now, my good man,
Ventured Far, you have into
this treacherous land ...Too soon
you will be my Lover and 
impregnate me so once more 
life flows mortal in my grey veins.

Slay thee, rotten harlot of these woods ...said he
with conviction
Nought with your tempts to sully 
and corrupt my intention
Not your breast or your tongue to swive
sacred Is, as my Flesh alive

Then upon YOUR flesh I will dine! ....said she
lunging forthe
with lionesse force in strike

and devoured this man 
with effortlesse strenghte and 
swallowed his bones 
  -Oh what creatures exist
that stand in our path 
on all walks of life 
they come unexpected 
but for the sake of your seed
march forthe with protection.
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Temptation

It's like convo

Then our minds flow

Then I'm staring at the ceiling with my eyes low

Imaging how the time would flow

How is whine will go

Would my toes curl

Would my mind be blown

That temptation is an overflow

I don't underestimate 

Then those feelings grow

Now you're fighting with yourself

Torturing yourself

You lay back and you touch yourself

Saying it doesn't hurt to think about it

I just won't act on it

Stay away from it

Don't indulge

That is not what temptation does

It will consume you whole

Have you switching roles

Don't let there be conversation

That leads to temptation

Then you say fuck imagination

I want to taste him

Then comes the act

You be the sin

Now you cant wash that away

So confession is in

Inevitably you jumped in

Into that swam where you know you cant swim.

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ThoughtShock: A Manifesto Chapter 17

Folder: 
ThoughtShock

Chapter Seventeen
'As The Echo Fades'
Part; 2

“Step into my shattered world.”

“Listen unto me the voice of chaos, wrecking havoc until all hope is lost. There is no salvation within the mind of the wicked, no redemption for the sickest. Depravity seeps into our moral fiber, where the insanity of it all is the poison to the cure.”

Smoke rose from the revolver as I held it. Standing to my feet I looked down at the lifeless corpse of my twin then towards the empty gun as I tossed it in Sin's lap. I was just about to turn and leave when I stopped once more looking down at the china tray on the table. “What the hell.” I thought as I reached down grabbing a handful of those neon green capsules.

I was roaming the streets at night like a drug fueled junkie. Prowling the back alleyways and hoping fences, I was searching and scouring for answers. I turned a corner and there before me stood a giant beast as its glowing red eyes pierced my soul. I watched in awe as blood dripped from it's massive razor sharp teeth. Why was I not in fear? It charged at me, I heard the shot as the bullet buzzed right by my ear. Driven simply by reaction I jumped to the side as I watched the bullet land perfectly between the beast's eyes. It crashed towards the ground dead on impact as I stood to my feet once more. My eyes moved from the dead creature's body on down the dark alleyway. As if it were not cliche enough, steam rose from the grates that lead to the sewers. Not taking my eyes off the creepy alley I reached down into my pocket producing one of the capsules as I quickly tossed it in my mouth. That is when I heard the footsteps echoing off the buildings as I saw a shadow slowly moving towards me.

“Wash away your guilt with ignorance.
Genocide before your eyes yet still don't believe it.
I want to escape your madness,
preaching peace through war.
Your democracy forged, at the tip of your sword.”

'How far we have fallen from the land of paradise'. As the shadow moved closer I was able to make him out. Once again I was face to face with my own reflection. Only this one introduced himself as Greed. I laughed when I heard this of course as my doppelganger before me was wearing a black suit and tie. His sleek hair neatly combed back and tied off into a ponytail.

“That is a good one” I laughed as I reached into my pocket producing another pill and without a second thought, swallowed it. He simply smiled as he reached into his vest's inner pocket and before I realized what was happening he pulled out the same gun he used only moments before to kill the beast. Pointing it at me he squeezed the trigger with no hesitation. The bullet ripped through my shoulder causing me to fly back a good few feet landing directly on my back. I screamed by sheer reflex, as my body quickly began working on sending the pain impulses to my brain. Grabbing my shoulder I began putting pressure on the wound.
“You know what?” Greed had asked as he walked up towards me, tapping the barrel of the gun against his head. “That was a good one” This time he laughed as he pointed the gun down at me again and squeezed the trigger once more. A loud pop echoed once more throughout the buildings, this bullet tore through my left thigh. Instinctively I had reached down putting my hand over the bloody hole. “What the fuck man!” I shouted up at him as I watched him circle me now like a wolf. “Why.” Was all that I had managed to choke out before the pain seized my voice.
Greed finally stopped circling me, as he only smiled down at me. “Because I can?” He chuckled as he raised the gun once more taking aim, this time at my head.
I thought for sure I was a goner. He had me dead to rights, but luck was with me this night or was it? I had closed my eyes for my final seconds on this planet but when I heard the sounds of more footsteps running towards me I quickly opened my eyes just in time to see the end of a machete slice clean through the head of Greed. I inhaled sharply by the sudden change of events catching me off guard.

Greed's body collapsed to the ground as Lust stood behind him. She was wiping the blood from her machete with a rag as I looked up at her blankly. Shortly after that I remembered that I had been shot, not once but twice. I griped the wounds tight to try and keep the blood loss down. I was slipping in and out of consciousness as fragments of time passed by me. One second Desire was kneeling down over me, the next she was standing talking with Lust. I can remember being moved, lifted by them and someone else as I found myself in the back of a car.

“Don't worry love, we will get you to the hospital” I heard Desire's soft voice as I felt her hands holding rags to my wounds. “Should just let his stupid ass die in the streets.” A strange deep voice boomed over the roar of the car's engine. I was too distracted to care, as I fought with my own clothes reaching for my pocket. “My pocket” I had choked out while pointing at it. Desire calmly reached into my pocket pulling out a small neon green capsule. She held it between her thumb and finger as she looked down at me. “Do you really think now is a good time to be taking these?”

I reached up and snatched it out of her fingers quickly swallowing it as I laid back down in the back seat. “Don't you dare fucking lecture me, bitch.” Lust was having none of it. She slammed her foot down on the breaks as the car came to screeching halt. She turned around in her seat and proceeded to slap me hard across the face. The impact and the loss of blood combined with the pill had caused me to finally black out and lose consciousness. At the same time Lust was verbally lashing out at me for disrespecting her little sister.

'I was sure that this nightmare would be over by now. That I would wake back up in my own bed. As I would chalk it up to bad drugs and cheap horror movies. Had I lost my mind? Was I really just in a coma, in some hospital I never even heard of? That this reality is just an illusion from the another dream? I mean seriously who sees a walking and talking reflection of themselves? Not to mention some kind of giant ravenous wildebeest who just happens to be strolling through the city streets at night. I should have shot myself back at those strange apartments. Oh wait, I did. Only then to get shot by another clone. I am starting to notice a pattern trending, as these pills have me twisted.'

My eyes opened as I stared up at the hospital ceiling. I was numb, no pain. My arms covered by the blankets I slowly moved my hand from my side towards my thigh. I felt the bandage that was covering the bullet wound. It took a little while for my chemically sedated brain to put together that I was still delusional. I quickly shot up from the bed. Sitting there taking my time as I surveyed my surroundings. Lust and Desire were sitting by the window to my room that was next to the door. When I turned my head straight I noticed the television hanging in the corner, it was muted playing some cheesy sitcom.
“Good morning sunshine.” A strange voice boomed over the whispers and giggles of the women. I let out a soft sigh as I knew my 'peace' was over. The morphine pumping into my body is powerful but not as strong as I knew the let down of the figure behind this voice. Deep down I knew it was another clone, but who this time? Another emotion? Perhaps this time it's Humility or just maybe Gluttony. Yeah that would be appropriate.
“If you are wondering” He said as he slowly stood up from the chair that was hiding off in the shadows. “I am Envy” He spoke slowly walking towards me. Yup another doppelganger, wearing my face. He placed his hand on the railing of my bed as he walked, his fingers were covered in rings. Platinum, gold, gems, and obviously over compensating for something. He turned his head towards the girls. “Would you lovely ladies, give me and my friend here a moment?”

They looked at each other then back towards Envy. Giggling as they stood up and casually or more so flauntingly exited out the door, closing it behind them.
As soon as they left the room he turned his head back towards me only to see my hand lash out at him. I wrapped my fingers tightly around his skinny neck. My skinny neck. Doped out I still managed to find the strength to bring him down as he fell on my bed, giving me extra leverage over him as he choked and started struggling. “How many more of you motherfuckers am I going to have to kill!” I shouted at him. Fury behind my eyes as I just wanted to see this abomination dead.
He desperately lashed out, then reached over grabbing my thigh pressing his thumb deep into my wound causing the stitches to tear. I screamed out in pain that the morphine could not kill, as I instinctively let go of his neck reaching for my leg. Envy dropped like a sack of potatoes to the floor beside my bed as he gasped for air.
“I came to warn you dickhead!” he tried shouting out as he rubbed his neck still panting heavily. “There is someone big, on his way to see you.” He climbed to his feet using the bed as a prop. Once to his feet he decided to take the opportunity of having the advantage over me as he punched me hard in the jaw causing me to fly out of the bed landing on the floor myself.
Stretching as he made his way around the bed to where I was laying on the floor. “I was just gonna give you the message, and then be on my way.” I got on my right knee trying to keep pressure off my left, when he suddenly without warning kicked me hard in the gut causing me to flip over on my back. I held my shoulder as I grunted in pain.
“So what, now you decide to kick my ass?” Giving him a shitty grin to hide the fact that I was indeed scared. I had no tactical advantage here. Envy laughed as he climbed on top of me, grabbing the front of my hospital gown pulling me up closer to him. I could see his eyes clear as day now hallow and empty. He whispered into my ear before he proceeded to use my face as his punching bag. “What makes you so special to get the girls?” He stopped hitting me after about the tenth time. His fist was covered in my blood but it was what I did next that not only caught him off guard but myself as well. He did not know what to make of me when I started laughing at him.

“Why are you laughing?” He proceeded to shake me in his frustration. “You are beating the shit out of me because you are jealous that I have two smoking hot bitches at my side? You are a moron.” I chuckled as I turned my head to the side spitting out the blood that started pooling in my mouth then turning my head back towards my assailant. “Look you can have them if you think you can get them, I don't own them. Hell I am starting to think they are nothing but trouble anyway.” This actually pissed him off even more as he decided that my face was not messed up enough, he went to town once more. My eyes closed as I heard bones snapping in my ears and I could actually remember feeling the blood running down my ears.

It was quiet now. I had blacked out from the beating I had received. Hell have no fury like your own envy. I could hear footsteps and whispers around me. My eyes were swollen but I opened them. Everything was out of focus, blurry as I managed to see shadows and blobs. Two figures were pacing back and forth at the foot of my bed.
I groaned as I turned my head, the pain was almost unbearable. My eyes started focusing, I could make out the dead body of my alter ego. Envy laid headless on the floor as I heard Lust's voice break the still air. “Sleeping beauty wakes” They both made their way over to my bed each sitting on opposite sides of the bed. I could feel Desire's soft hands touching gently at my face. “Your handy work I take it Lust?” Turning my head just a bit towards the direction of the decapitated clone on the floor. “So you would rather me let him turn your face into ground hamburger?” She smirked as she stood up stretching. She grabbed her jacket from the back of the chair, she carefully stepped over the corpse. “I'm going to run down to the cafeteria, see if I can't get us anything to eat sis.” She walked over to her sister leaning down kissing her. It was when she held the kiss that threw off the first flag in my head. Lust disappeared out the door once again closing it behind her. When I heard the door lock the second red flag shot off. Much like before, I was locked in the room with Desire. Who like before wasted no time before she spun around and carefully climbed on top of me. Easing herself down, she carefully straddled me as to not bump the wounds. I could see the devil herself grinning down at me. What fate was I sealed to now?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

ThoughtShock: A Manifesto Chapter 17 "As The Echo Fades"

Well I know in my first post, I said this was only a two part short story. I found while writing it however that was just not the case. The deeper I dove into this piece the more I was compelled to express. So I have decided to make this short story a three parter!! So stay tuned for the next installment of "As the echo fades"

hmmm I wonder though, how would someone even prolouge this short story its just full of craziness!! hahaha

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ThoughtShock: A Manifesto Chapter 16

Folder: 
ThoughtShock

Chapter Sixteen
'As The Echo Fades'
Part; 1

“It's the bittersweet taste of defeat”

She gracefully walked towards me after entering into the room. She came bearing gifts. It was a peace offering from the fallout from the night before. She offered up a cocktail of tasty treats for me to take my pick from. Setting it before me, the china tray used to carry the rainbow platter. I swear it must have came straight from 'George Jung's' own private stash. She smiled coyly at me as she straightened her posture. Lust's eyes trailed up and down my body as I sat back in the chair. “If I had not known any better.” I thought as I glanced around the room catching a glimpse of Lust's little sister, Desire giving me a rather creepy wink.

As if this whole entire experience could not get any more strange. In walks Sin. Slowly he makes his way to the table taking a seat straight across from me. I am at a loss for words, my mind spinning with disbelief, unable to formulate a single coherent thought. Now sitting before me, like staring into a mirror was the very reflection of myself. He began to pick at the China tray sitting on the table. Sorting, separating, the goodies. It was a bad acid trip, yet I am the only one here who has not been taking from the candy jar. “How” would be the last rational thought to cross my mind this night.

My doppelganger looked up from the tray and in short simple words. 'Are you ready?' Identical to my own voice. All I could do to respond was slowly nod my head up and down. That is when he reached out towards me and in his fingers rested a small neon green capsule.
“Was I dead already?” As I took the pill from my clone before me. Once it was in my possession, Sin stood to his feet. Clapping his hands together, without warning causing me to jump in my seat.

I held the pill gently between my thumb and forefinger. Unsure of which bothered me the most, this strange cocktail in my hand or the fact I was seeing myself in a third person. “Had I lost my mind already?” I watched as Sin walked towards the women, leaning down to whisper into both Lust and Desire as they each started grinning.
“What the hell”. Was the thought to cross my mind as I chugged the neon green capsule down my gullet. 'We play the role of the fool' The affects were almost instant. My eye lids grew heavy, struggling to keep them open, to remain focused. It was then that I saw it {that void beyond my own eyes}.

I stirred about under the warm covers as sweat beaded down my face. The sheets were soaked as I shot up awake in a violent burst. As my eyes began to focus it was then that I had noticed Desire sitting on the edge of the bed. She was quiet, and she was ever so beautiful. It was that 'elusive' beauty she masterfully obtained. That dream you can feel only just cannot reach for, with a hint of innocents behind those cruel eyes.
“What had I taken”? I managed to choke out from the desert that was my mouth. Before she could reply the door of the bedroom bursts open as Lust storms in. Fury behind her eyes as she snatched up Desire from the bed. Jumping to my feet, I was quickly stopped by my doppelganger who happened to enter into the room behind Lust. Only since being this close I managed to make out a few differences. His face was aged far more than my own. The life or hope in my reflection's eyes was almost gone, a fading gleam. Was this me? Was this to be me? No rational thought could cross my mind.

Just as I was about to confront this 'Sin', the lights in the room flickered for a moment, seconds later they went out completely. It was then that I heard a strange voice whispering in my ear yet nobody was close enough to me, I felt no breath on my neck, no body close to my own. Just the whispers as I could not even make out what it was even saying. As the door opened once more revealing a little light, I followed as Sin, Lust, and Desire made their way out of the room, holding my head.


“I am not insane.”
“I am not insane.”
“I am not insane.”

“I am losing my fucking mind”.
Once out in the hallway, I quickly dashed for the emergency stairs and it happened just as I heard the girls call out my name. My footing gave way, the step itself shifted. Congealed by my own contact. Tumbling down the massive steps as each one reconfigured itself as I landed onto it. Finally hitting a small landing way, sliding to the wall causing me to stop.
Lust and Desire quickly ran towards me, checking to make sure I was not seriously injured. I struggled to remain conscious as the pain in my head grew worse and worse. Looking around trying to focus. My eyes locked in the eyes of Desire and for a split second, I had felt a sense of sadness. I laid my head back down on the cold floor waiting for the darkness to come, to wash over me. Deep down I felt like I deserved to meet my reaper.


~*~

I have dreamed, I have manifested.

“One. Click, Click.
Two. Click, Click.
Three. Click, Click, Snap!”

I wont beg for your forgiveness.
On my knees, I must have asked for this.
My suicidal mission, becoming my final inscription.

“Four. Five. Six.
Just. One. More. Click.
Then my reaper will no longer wait,
my soul he will get to take.
Death fills the air this night,
Playing in the shadows
of what is wrong, what is right.”
~*~

I woke in a small room. Different then the last. The moldy wallpaper was torn in several places. Patched over holes as few candles illuminated the dark corners of the room. Lust looked up from her book as she lounged in a cheap foldout chair. She was wearing a see through purple gown, a tease for it revealed more for the imagination then anything.
She stretched in the chair as she closed her book laying it over her stomach. Watching as the hem of her gown rose slowly up her smooth legs. She spun in her chair facing me, putting her hand between her legs as the palm of her hand placed firmly on the seat of the chair. I quickly blinked and focused back towards her eyes as she was now grinning at me. “Whats the matter my dear?” her voice was seductive, she was preying on my weakness.

“Did you hear the whispers?” My voice was a bit shaky as I watched her slowly sway her legs from side to side. She stopped only long enough to give me a weird look. “Here, these will help you relax.” She had handed me two more of those neon green capsules. Reaching around to the other side of the chair she grabbed a water bottle. Also handing it to me.
“What are these?” I asked as I rolled one of the capsules between my finger and thumb. Lust quietly laughed to herself as she slowly stood to her feet. Leaning in she softly whispered into my ear, feeling her warm breath on my neck as she spoke. “It my love, is whatever you wish it to be.” With that she stood back up, turning towards the door she gracefully made her way to it swaying her hips in the process. She stopped when she had made it to the door “I will send Desire up in a little bit to check on you.” Her voice was calm, and soothing yet it felt like she was hiding something. Turning around she disappeared out the door closing it behind her. Then I heard it, the deadbolt latched form the other side.

I laid down in the old bed, with sheets that seemed to have not been used in years. As I took note of the room once more, I noticed old pictures hanging from the walls. Taking a deep breath and placed both capsules on my tongue, closing my mouth I quickly swallowed. It did not take long before my eyes started to feel heavy. My body becoming more and more relaxed, I started drifting in and out of sleep. I could remember hearing the latch on the door being unlocked.

I heard the creaking of the door as it opened and closed. Then once more it was locked. I could not muster up the desire to get up and see who it was. I remember hearing the soft footsteps as they got closer and closer to my bed. I could also remember the scent of distant roses, only I could not find motivation to turn my head. I just laid there as she slowly climbed into bed with me. When her skin made contact with mine, it sent an electrical shock through my entire system. She carefully straddled me as I felt her warm breath on my lips.
As I opened my eyes, Desire had placed her lips to mine as she kissed me deeply. Feeling her tongue dance about with my own. Her hands found their way to my head as she entangled her fingers within my hair. Slowly she lifted herself up only come back down grinding herself into me and every second that passed the more I could not fight her charms, her seduction. I gave in as I reached up for her. I was going to set claim to Desire.
In my distraction I was not aware that Lust was standing off in the shadows, watching and plotting. What plan was she conjuring up? I would never know, for my thoughts and intentions were lost to that of Sin's.

When I woke from my groggy state I was not even sure exactly what had happened. My clothes were thrown about the small room and on the pillow next to my head laid a black rose. Desire had left me that night. No words were ever exchanged, just that rose as the black petals spoke the story itself.
I made my way to the main living room. There was no one, just another trashed room. In the middle of the room sat the table and two chairs, on the table rested the china tray and on the tray was a gun along with an assortment of different types of pills.

Sitting down in one of the chairs, I slowly reached out and picked up the gun staring at the narcotics on the tray. “Go on.” I jumped, startled from the sudden voice. Sitting straight across from me was none other than Sin. He was smiling, more like a wicked grin as he spoke again “Pull the trigger” He reached over towards the tray picking up a pill, popping it into his mouth. Chewing it with a smug grin as he continued “Go on, we both know it's what you want.”
Without thinking I lifted the gun, pointed it directly at Sin and pulled the trigger. “As the echo fades, I am left just to decay.”

Author's Notes/Comments: 

ThoughtShock Chapter 16 "As the Echo Fades"

This is a Two part series, a creative short story based on a very sensitive topic for me. I have been battling a few addictions off and on for well over ten years and everytime I try and write about it or any "addiction" really for that matter weather it is just a poem or even a creative piece they all seem to fall short, I can never truly capture that muse and I fear I may never will for I find it extremly hard to glorify something so destructive. Anyway This is chapter 16, part two will be chapter 17 and I do hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think.

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The Devil's Nest

Folder: 
Lost Treasures

The Devil's Nest
'Damien's Lost Scripts'

Get Out Now!, Get out while you can!. A strange voice shouts in my head. Where is this coming from the horrific images of things no sane man should have to witness. Look! There goes a two headed ape juggling hand grenades. The images alone could make you want to crawl inside some deep dark hole to never be seen from again, but the voices? Those are some devious, demented bastards I've ever encountered. They are my own I know this, but they are as foreign to me as the next face to pass me by.
All of this sober, well as sober as I will get but no hallucinogens have entered my body besides what it naturally produces. So does that make me crazy? Some would argue. When I look around and observe your world, the society I was born into. It makes me disgusted, so while you; obsessed with my sanity stumbles around in the dark blind to see what it is that I see. I may act insane, at times clearly deranged a facade designed to allow me to move around you unnoticed, undetected.

We are living in the devil's nest, eating supper at the table with our demons and skeletons. Breaking bread with the vary same sins and temptations that you run to church on sundays to repent, then to repeat, just to run back to the dinner table for seconds, thirds, and so on. I would not be one bit shocked if one day scientists were to find, discover or even label a hypocrite gene within our DNA. There is no need for a devil with horns wielding a pitchfork. For we are our own worst enemies, that nightmare that causes us to jump awake with sweat dripping from our face. It's easy to stand toe to toe against a stranger, the odds are in favor, with a fifty fifty chance. To face ourselves, the dice are loaded and the deck is stacked. The game is rigged for subconsciously we know our own weakness, to cripple our advantage. Time to storm the gates.

Everyday these strange faces slowly melt together into one big blur. Everyday these strange figures blend in with the mundane backdrop of a wasted reality, waking to the ignorance of existing. That somehow believing that since they are simply breathing they are living. They wake by alarm, drones jumping into routine, programed as they glide through the motions, The same thing everyday. The same thoughts. The same. These are the fools who judge my sanity, who question my morality. Those who would deem me unfit to care for myself. Yes that still bothers me quite a bit. The same people who would choke off any aspirations for creativity.
There must be something to the question of my sanity, if for any reason I could be called insane let it be known for the fact I still hold out hope that one day people will wake up. Move on from old dogmas and tear down a corrupt judicial system. That people will see that a soul can only grow if the body it inhabits is free and unbound by insane laws. I question the motives of any man in power, anyone who can by the stroke of a pen or in this age click of a mouse cause me to simply vanish without a trace.
I would like to say that it is not to late, that there is still a chance. Deep down I fear that may not be the case. That this cause has been lost, as things continue to get worse more and more will line up with their hands out expecting their nanny to take care of them, only when they realize that the system is broke will their eyes open to the true tragedy that surrounds us. That I see, that my mind processes everyday. Thoughts of a world wide melt down, due to incompetence and greed. Am I sane? As I sit in the devils nest, indulging willingly in a vast array of intoxicants. Watch while I seduce temptation and rape the devil. I will overcome. I will prevail. I am after all when everything is said and done a soul in a universe that is the true house of god.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is an exerpt from a chapter in my unfinished book "Damien's Lost Script's" However I have yet to decide which pen name I should put it under. The Dead Poet or Damien Nosferatu.... Such a tough choice. Your thoughts?

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Waypoint in the Desert

Sandy jaws to swallow,
emphatic noise to follow.
The swivel of the molten air,
The link on third - try not to care;
and beg for turn in right direction
from the waypoint in the desert, there ...

Cast from drowning oceans,
I bottled self in sand.
My newest skin encased in grains,
I withstood and will withstand.

Winds came with their beating;
my blood just wouldn't clot.
The only sting that woke me up
was lost as I'd forgot

to keep my head on level
and know which way to merge.
The desert lay enraptured
upon the day its dirge

rang to scare the buzzards;
rang to stir the rocks.
I saw a waypoint standing far
with every angle locked.

I took a step to face it;
it threw away a glance.
Chances are at elsewhere,
somewhere left to chance.

It told me this way, that,
spat at both my shoes;
all along alluring by
all the paths to choose.

It took on filling curves;
turned from wood to bone.
Making flesh from drying leaves,
it offered me its throne.

And the harshness dropped to dollops,
with sun intensified -
as the post was human,
I swept the thought aside.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was written as a song at first, which is why it has the random introduction, but it just works much better as a straight poem.

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Vows

I sit and stare at this white wall
which blankets me, quite like a pall
that covers death and hides from eyes
that final gift, lifes only prize.

I wonder if, instead of life
trapped in these vows, I took a wife
and made a home where children run
and laugh and play till setting sun
brought them inside, so close to me
I'd ne'er be trapped, but only free
to give them all my love, my soul,
my strength, my sweat, till my lifes goal
to see them well and fully grown
with spouse and children of their own.

My love and I could sit and rock
upon our porch, no need to talk,
just holding hands till our twilight
slides slowly into darkest night,
but not of day, for her and me,
but into Love's eternity,
to stand before Him, who above
had watched with joy our lasting love...

My eyes open, and still that wall
so white, so cold, and realize all
my thoughts are dreams, not to be had
by me, a Father, not a dad
and always will I mourn this loss
while for the world I bear the Cross
to turn our gaze from here below
to that last end, where all must go.

I pray that when that end is here
and to His Kingdom I draw near
I hear God say "Come, faithful one
you've served me well, and so my son
put down your cross, to me draw near
and put aside your greatest fear.
For all alone you'll never be
for here you'll find intimacy.
The love you yearned for down below
is but a transient shadow.
Come now to join your family
the saints, and share in my glory.
Now only peace dwells in your heart,
for we will never be apart.

You'll always live, not close to me,
but in my Heart, eternally.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is my second poem on here, and comments of any sort would be greatly appreciated... I wrote this during a time of spiritual struggle and depression, and it has until now been unread by anyone but me.

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temptation's mistake

the urges are to great
my thoughts I speculate
they need to understand
someone give out there hand
show the rules of this land
before I make a mistake
that is too great
help before its to late
sinking and falling
dragging and crawling
tenderness in the morning
is worth the wait
maybe even a mistake
consequences, can i take?
dirty looks i can bare
seeing your gentleness is rare
that's worth all the stares
because its a gift
your passionate honest kiss
that feelings so bliss

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