nostalgia

"Dreaming Autumn"

An autumn from a dream, it walked in pure diamond,

The meadows, the prairies, incinerated with orange.

The breeze, a hint of lavender, kissed the mountain tops,

A ground of scattered leaves under the sleeping oak.

 

A velvet complexion was given to the waves of ocean,

Their steel outlining beckoning the quiet sun and gentle moon.

Drowning the shores with infinite acquaintance of roaring waves,

We dance in fields of marigolds, enveloped with an October shimmer.

 

Your eyes match the blue Iris petals as we fall beneath a silent evergreen,

The western sunset a distant torch on an orange-reflected skyline.

A sunset to melt nations, we lay upon this night,

The stars prepared to shine like ignited magnolias.

 

Silence so still, a stillness, but soft,

This autumn from a dream, I wish not wake up.

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Sakura Fall

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Diagon Ellie

Have you ever been in love? It feels like ya high above the towers/Then you place no one above/You swear if you could only get an hour/To do some convincing without simpin or saying bullshit/Just gotta show ya pimpin and get her to the whip and drive slow to ease tension into a full flip/Birds come surround you/whenever she's around you/And when you take her out, niggas lookin they can't clown you/When it comes to her it's something/She's soft spoken, but she's like a cigarette, she keeps it Marlboro 100/Gets all in ya lungs/ it feels so good when blackens them up and you can't tell if they're lies or do they really mean something/But you stumble in

 
Now you'll never feel alone/You pray that she is somewhere close or near her phone/You call her bitch and hoe, it's kind of joke/But it's all good to her because you know that she's yo's/Cuddle in paintings on her bedroom wall/Shower her in the towers just hoping that she'll drop a towel/Her ass fat, her hair's curly and long/You make a joke saying she's the sexiest fur ball/And she slaps you playfully and goes to put on a song/That'll get any woman to give it and get it all/You watch her bite her lip as you ease ya hips/When the bass drops in Bria's Interlude, ya speed ya dip/And after ya done you step out and smoke a cig/And reflect on the connection and you kinda dig/Slipping away to a vacation where relaxation begins
 
You think about it and its all gone/You run outta ideas and just play ya favorite songs/Seems the only feeling as great as her is hearing a NERD song stoned/You say fuck her she ain't shit, lie to yourself/The money you get is cool but you despise the wealth/The situation crazy a bitch made you despise ya self/Seems baby girl was actually good for ya health/She left because she had better things for herself/Her needs for attention grew as the Cherry blossoms fell/And she swears she still loves you but it's not the season to be under you/And when she comes around again it feels like she's uncomfortable/To get her love again, you promise it'll be an unfair fight/She'll say it's hard and swear on everything the time isn't right/You'll say it is because you finally got ya mind right/And joke and say you pretty good with a butterfly knife/Man fuck the third person, CeCe I need somebody in my life/I've had my fun amongst the brothels and bright nights/But that's all in the past, in the hind site/Yeah, I look good in public, but I wanna share the lime light
Author's Notes/Comments: 

Just playing the field. 

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Fool that is ourself~

high expectations are not my cup of tea, people need to stop tryin' to suck the life out of me..

do we return to the memories..? or do they come back to us?

the only person I really want to talk to right now is my father.. but why bother thinking about it.. 

I just want to question him on everything that seems to of passed us by... like the time.. 

or what we will become after wasting away.. after we've deteriorated & our skin is past grey..

 

slowly paralyzed, fingers first.. trying to figure this out, tying up loose threads.. 

I need to feel alive.. have I been living a lie within my head..?

or am I trapped inside, knowing outside is the reality in which you've been dead.

 

I could spend the rest of my life in bed, until i've cried enough tears to flood the entire house, both stories.

but wouldn't that just be a waste of potential..? to let the pain push me down, further each day.. 

the weight of nostalgia get's heavier, despite it's dismay..

memories are like an impenetrable fog, & everyone else gets the sunshine on their face.. 

do we all pity the fool, that is ourself..?

Reflections

Rose petals on my dash

The wind blows gone in a flash

There goes our youth

Our version of carefree

The you before the me

What happened to freedom?

To all the silly fun times

Throw inhibition to the wind

Run away from comfortable

Make mistakes but own them

And make amends with old friends

For who knows you best

Before the suit and tie

Before the grown up critical eye

Life goes on but we live in nostalgia

Don’t cry for yesterday

Back then tomorrow never comes

After all today is your present

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Overwritten Despondency

every breath I take is another mistake, each exhalation, lingering in this lonely space..
i'd love to just break down & cry.. but puff, pass, i'll let out another deep sigh.. 
the taste of your skin is like... pale sin.
& your smile as dead as the love that's spiraling downward into the drains of past content..
it filters out all the shit.
your eyes feel like daggers, when they're on me..
maybe that's why you can't truly see.. why do you even bother to criticize me.. why hasn't God set me free..?
 
like a fish, starving.. going in circles, de-sha-vu, I don't remember you..
but my intuition tells me otherwise.
an insect, hearing it's last words...
crushed, beneath the foot of mankind.. what sort of man is really all that kind..?
a bird, rattled in a cage.. shaken up.. absorbing rage..
being fed the scum that's left, to hold you sustained..
 
it's like not being able to turn to the next page..
& everyone keeps writing over the page i'm on, & telling me to read it once again.. & again.
until it's all scribbles, on top of one another.. it makes no sense..
you might as well be spitting on me... this is an overwritten despondency...

On The Bed of Crimson Roses

I smell the fragrance of love
On the bed of crimson roses
Memories of thee beguiles me
And million emotions my heart encloses

Those eternal love-filled hours
Feel yet to be so few
Oh Love Rush down my core
As this heart concocts the brew

Silent I lay beside you, all cuddled up
That drives me to the golden shore
Seeing through my inward eye, I become
Nostalgic to the days of yore

I'm Coming Home Soon

Wilted grasses of the autumn,
Reddish and golden leaves fall from dying trees.
The sun sets down the rich orange clouds,
I'm beginning to feel homesick...

The candy sweet smiles on my close friends,
Oh, how I miss the pleasure of seeing them.
The long halls all reaching towards the gates of freedom,
I want to walk all of them through while holding his hand...

Time goes by fast without being noticed,
Even though every clock are being stalked by my eyes.
His warmth always pass by me every chance it gets,
Despite me being the cold, independent fool I was...

I always feel guilty stuffing my locker with countless words,
Though they're all contained by what's left of nature's kidnapped children...
The world of imagination never leaves me alone,
Even though I'm always in front of the faces of unoriginal lectures.

Blissful revelries of late autumn end too fast,
While the long, cold winter rains snowflakes to freeze our veins.
Then comes the blooming spring of nature's children waking up,
Until the melting and burning, yet pleasuring summer comes by.

My painful eyes opened to see the warming light,
Just to feel tears running down my lit up face.
The guardian angel warrior next to me asked,
"Why let those tears fall, my love?"

I was just unable to answer a simple question for my lover...
What a pathetic princess I was to him,
For all I could do was just give him a smile.
He reached out his hands for my face and kissed my lips.

Home was just down the road of twilight,
Filled with flowers sleeping and flying red and yellow leaves.
"Let's just sit here for a while longer before we go home."
And we closed our eyes while still holding hands...

Looking Back

Looking Back

Tell all my former lovers
tell all my former friends
if they stayed I would've
let them down in the end
so run while you can
get away from me
haven't you heard
in the darkness you can't see

So while you're looking back
do not forget to sigh
there's no second chance
to say goodbye

one day you will grow up
and then regret this past
it's unavoidable
nothing can last
the withering of time
the ravages of age
try to be careful
don't let your smile fade

so you must dream big now
while you dream at all
there will come a time when
you stumble and fall

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When we were young

Won’t you take me back to way back when
When we were young and we’d pretend
To be cowboys, Indians, Kings and Queens
Millionaires and all those dream

To be knights in armor, the dragons we killed
The kings we were at the top of the hill
You were Bonnie and I was Clyde
The room in the attic was the place we would hide

So won’t you take me back to way back when
When we were young and we’d pretend

To be warlock, witches and teller of tales
Captain of the ships with the mighty sails
We’d sail our ship on the Ocean of dreams
Searching for things that have never been seen

So won’t you take me back to way back when
When we were young and we’d pretend

There days of yesterday, days of past
Days I thought, would always last
But all that’s left are photos and songs
And memories of when we were young.

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