Overwritten Despondency

every breath I take is another mistake, each exhalation, lingering in this lonely space..
i'd love to just break down & cry.. but puff, pass, i'll let out another deep sigh.. 
the taste of your skin is like... pale sin.
& your smile as dead as the love that's spiraling downward into the drains of past content..
it filters out all the shit.
your eyes feel like daggers, when they're on me..
maybe that's why you can't truly see.. why do you even bother to criticize me.. why hasn't God set me free..?
like a fish, starving.. going in circles, de-sha-vu, I don't remember you..
but my intuition tells me otherwise.
an insect, hearing it's last words...
crushed, beneath the foot of mankind.. what sort of man is really all that kind..?
a bird, rattled in a cage.. shaken up.. absorbing rage..
being fed the scum that's left, to hold you sustained..
it's like not being able to turn to the next page..
& everyone keeps writing over the page i'm on, & telling me to read it once again.. & again.
until it's all scribbles, on top of one another.. it makes no sense..
you might as well be spitting on me... this is an overwritten despondency...

On The Bed of Crimson Roses

I smell the fragrance of love
On the bed of crimson roses
Memories of thee beguiles me
And million emotions my heart encloses

Those eternal love-filled hours
Feel yet to be so few
Oh Love Rush down my core
As this heart concocts the brew

Silent I lay beside you, all cuddled up
That drives me to the golden shore
Seeing through my inward eye, I become
Nostalgic to the days of yore

I'm Coming Home Soon

Wilted grasses of the autumn,
Reddish and golden leaves fall from dying trees.
The sun sets down the rich orange clouds,
I'm beginning to feel homesick...

The candy sweet smiles on my close friends,
Oh, how I miss the pleasure of seeing them.
The long halls all reaching towards the gates of freedom,
I want to walk all of them through while holding his hand...

Time goes by fast without being noticed,
Even though every clock are being stalked by my eyes.
His warmth always pass by me every chance it gets,
Despite me being the cold, independent fool I was...

I always feel guilty stuffing my locker with countless words,
Though they're all contained by what's left of nature's kidnapped children...
The world of imagination never leaves me alone,
Even though I'm always in front of the faces of unoriginal lectures.

Blissful revelries of late autumn end too fast,
While the long, cold winter rains snowflakes to freeze our veins.
Then comes the blooming spring of nature's children waking up,
Until the melting and burning, yet pleasuring summer comes by.

My painful eyes opened to see the warming light,
Just to feel tears running down my lit up face.
The guardian angel warrior next to me asked,
"Why let those tears fall, my love?"

I was just unable to answer a simple question for my lover...
What a pathetic princess I was to him,
For all I could do was just give him a smile.
He reached out his hands for my face and kissed my lips.

Home was just down the road of twilight,
Filled with flowers sleeping and flying red and yellow leaves.
"Let's just sit here for a while longer before we go home."
And we closed our eyes while still holding hands...

Looking Back

Looking Back

Tell all my former lovers
tell all my former friends
if they stayed I would've
let them down in the end
so run while you can
get away from me
haven't you heard
in the darkness you can't see

So while you're looking back
do not forget to sigh
there's no second chance
to say goodbye

one day you will grow up
and then regret this past
it's unavoidable
nothing can last
the withering of time
the ravages of age
try to be careful
don't let your smile fade

so you must dream big now
while you dream at all
there will come a time when
you stumble and fall

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When we were young

Won’t you take me back to way back when
When we were young and we’d pretend


To be cowboys, Indians, Kings and Queens
Millionaires and all those dreams

To be knights in armor, the dragons we killed
The kings we were at the top of the hill

You were Bonnie and I was Clyde
The room in the attic was the place we would hide


So won’t you take me back to way back when
When we were young and we’d pretend


To be warlock, witches and teller of tales
Captain of the ships with the mighty sails
We’d sail our ship on the Ocean of dreams
Searching for things that have never been seen


So won’t you take me back to way back when
When we were young and we’d pretend


Their days of yesterday, days of past
Days I thought, would always last
But all that’s left are photos and songs
And memories of when we were young.


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Intro to Nostalgia

Can't let go of the past
can't help but think,
if I had turned right instead of left
what the outcome would be

I'm not learning, I'm yearning
for something that once was
for something that could have been
I messed up

Dwelling in my sorrow,
knowing that there's no tomorrow
I hate what I have become
totally undone

Can't get it right
no need to fight
thinking of what I might
time to turn out the light
can't get a bite
not even a fight
nothing seems bright

This pain,
is definitely not a gain
it hurts,
like I'm being eaten from the inside out

being numb
doesn't mean I have to be a bum
or better yet a scum

can't embrace, won't embrace
what's to become

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My Name is...


You come to me

when sky is grim

we talk for hours

nothing but him


Empty boulevard

streetlights lit

I’ll brace your fall

indeed I did


When time for me

you were there

without complaint

cleared the air


flash forward a bit

I miss those lips

I know it’s wrong

but I value the trip


Wish it were different

and yet I know

never the same

out of my control


Nostalgia never lies

but tonight

I will sing her a lullaby.

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The trip back home


I miss the hazy sunsets

And the mayhem on the roads

Impatient drivers through security checks

Short-tempered pedestrians

I took a trip back home

With my fears

And reservations uncalled for

I tread carefully

Cautious to the core

I looked at things with mixed feelings

But it all changed

With in matter of days

What was it that changed it all?

I do not know

The water, the sweet smell of soil

The people

The invisible bond

Of growing up

I am torn

Between then and now

I miss the cold evenings

And the dim lit streets

I miss the faces

I called my own

I love the place for what it is

I miss Pakistan

It hurts

Author's Notes/Comments: 

The recent trip to Pakistan was full of apprehensions and uncalled for fears. It was wonderful. Loved it.

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by: Joel Faypon
December 22, 2004

The sound of thousand cars
     cruising down the freeway -  
It reminds me of how fast the years go
     how quickly they slip away

Age can be defeating sometimes,
     especially when it flashes back -
The thought of how much I wasted
My life, my love
And how much you have wasted
Your life, my love

The airport has this calming scent
     that reminds me of how long I was away -
And that I should have gone back to you,
And that I should have stayed

My vision is leaving me.
I do not see things sharply anymore
And images flow in a maze -
     lights are but a mere splatter of colors,
     foreground to a haze

But the memories are clear to see -
     and how far I strayed away
From you,
From peace
And how far you strayed away
From me,
From all these

It has been ages but I still wonder about the reasons
     why our lives crossed
But all is clear to me now
That I have absorbed the shock
    and have accepted that I lost

But I am not sad because of it
I am not sad because of this defeat
I am not sad about myself like
     you have probably heard.
I am sad for you
For them
And I am sad for the world...


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