Maybe if we could

stretch to the stars

the sky would rest

at our fingertips,

wild but ours just the same


Maybe if we could

reach the stars

words would spill from the sky,

the universe’s dreams would douse

the inferno that singes us


Maybe if we could

touch the stars

insanity would meld with reality

and all the pencil strokes in the world

would finally be enough to start over


And I still tear

stones down from the trees

and scatter them

across the universe

until my stars fall from the sky


But the beauty of those stars

is that they’re untouchable

and no matter how far I climb

how fast I run

how deep I love

I’ll never reach them

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 2/6/16

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Self Destruct

Self Loathing

What lies in mind

Are but dreams; rising

A growing wave

An eager uprising                                                                    

What I know

And the differences; believed

Cuffing these hands                     

From possibilities achieved.

What I foster

Are but lightbulb fields; glowing

Never to be picked

Upon my table; showing

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One Day....

One day I will be the long narrow driveway,

Tour guide welcoming those ravenous window shoppers,

Aspiring photographers,

Into my hand painted,

Family stained,


My kids will play in our serene garden our composed yard,

Where the deer and rabbits will come to watch our love be magnificent,

They'll spy as those tiny mysteries board their bus to private school,

The trouble makers will shoot them down,


Self- pity,

Yearning for their way of life,

They'll know,

As I did,

These angels are real,

Their happiness genuine,


One day I will smile like you,

Satisfy like you,

I'll fill the blackest night with innocent magic,

Flush these backward alchemy bottles down the drain,

The nausea of sanity's prerequisites,

I'll be the good son,

The good worker,

Scholarly student,

Church goer,

Philanthropic billionaire,

Retirement home socialite,

Tracing my good deeds through every continent,

The safari of retribution,


Put aside these atrocities,

Bugs on the windshield,

Nails on the chalkboard,

One day I will be extaordinary,


Their resonance deafening in sleepy rooms,

Scrambling to break free,

Lunging towards the basement door,



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I’m somewhere,

In a different time

In a different place


I’m somewhere,

A different feeling

Lost in space


I’m somewhere,

Caught in the midst

Of everything I know

In all that exists

My limitations grow


I’m somewhere,

Exposed and valiant

Bright eyes; knowing


I’m somewhere,

Trembling and fierce

Hearts on shoulders; showing





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Warped Existence

Self Loathing



Never been the one

To stand and fight

For the dreams

That sore so high


I’m the one that hides

With fear inside

Living on burnt memories


Can’t seem to find

A fresh start

A new beginning

Without hindering hands


That grasp my sanity                      

Preventing me

To take a stand


I’m hurting and bleeding

From self-inflicted moods

When will I learn to love?

And heal these open wounds


How can I stop dying on the inside?

Rotting and withering away

Picking up my shattered pieces

In hope, that they’d stay



Breaking free from this hold

No longer listening to what I’m told

I’m sold on this future, meant to be


All these thoughts

Crashing down

The storm’s coming

And I’m here waiting


Can’t be hell bound

Chains wrapped around me

Screams with no sound


Sold on stories told

Silver linings and sun shine

Coming after the rain

Please erase this pain, warring


Ripping off this sorrow

Like clothes off my back

There can only be a better tomorrow


So let the rain come

Wash me clean

Swipe the things off my plate

That keep me, from me



Loner Part 1

He was a loner who always sat down contemplating fantastical adventures that occurred on the pages of a comic book

He compares that to his life and scoffs at the contrast compared to his own

Feeling that his existence is some sort of punchline and whenever he reads a comic and realizes the dualism is the hook

Admiring the strength of the heroes on the page and then realizing his own weakness often led to him expressing his rage

He idolizes them and tries  to emulate their heroic accomplishments 

He is an optimist but not one who has grandiose dreams and narcissism is a term that could never be applied to him 

He believes that a good deed no matter how small was significant because he couldn't fly, knew better than to contaminate himself with anything vaguely radioactive and his mental faculties are not up to par with Peter Parker and far less than mr fantastic or Bruce Banner

He believed that no matter the insignificance of a good deed still had some worth and is quantifiable irrespective of what it accomplished

He believes a smile or a "thank you" from one person holds the same worth as recognition his idols receives 

He tried to associate with some of his peers and most either looked down on him for his simplistic and "childish" outlook on the world and his antiquated sense of morality

He accepted their criticism on what he loves without any response to provocation or anger because that is what his idols would do and instead channels it. He channels it not into rage and resentment but into focus and determination

He knows that in all probability he would not reap rewards for what he does or believes in and the motives for peoples actions and behaviours would not Change solely due to his actions

He knows that his antagonizers would not receive their comeuppance in the foreseeable future but still he preservers

Some may wonder what his motivations are and why he tries to be unbreakable despite all the interconnected cracks that decorate his souls and provide stories without words for all the abuse he has endured

He doesn't give up because that's not what the Black Panther would do, Nightwing would never give up and Barry Allen would not give up in the face of insurmountable odds

There are periods when his heroes are beaten to the ground and are drained both physically and emotionally and they never succumb to the futility of their actions nor do they crumble under the weight if the trials and tribulations they face 

So neither will he

Sometimes he imagines that he too is the product of the imagination of someone who puts their life and struggles on paper and if there is any semblance of truth in that

He believes that he should be a realistic role model for any readers who may be struggling like he is



Author's Notes/Comments: 

Criticize me :)

Of Dreams and Lovers


My lover knows my needs
she greets me in rose gardens
of the hidden recesses of my dreams
my needs she meets
when we greet under purple skies
we dance we forget we find sensual
trances in the flame of passion
lights the soul
the needs of the dreams of two lovers
who exist in the conscious who
lie in lust and dream somewhere between heaven
and hell...

I Create Dreams

I manufacture dreams in my factory,

Which is called the brain having power extraordinary,

If my dreams come true,

I’ll be the happiest man alive on earth, you know.


The dreams are manufactured to touch lives on and on,

Like the wonderful touchstone,

In the sole endeavour,

To make the world better.


The formation of dreams is rather trouble-free,

But the implementation is awash with difficulty.

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You Are the Special One For Me

© by Chuck McGlawn/Chuckest@aol.com

To all those lovers, that have found that Special One. 1/26/2003


You are that Special One for me

It's obvious to all who'll see

You satisfy my fantasy dreams

And fulfill all my life's schemes


Our love can surely stand the test

I'm so content when caressed

My body melds so perfectly

With that Special One meant for me


Ecstasy's what I'm perusing

Loving all the things you’re doing

With you my heart beats passionately

'Cause you’re that Special One for me


I think our hearts beat as one

With you everything is fun

It's my hope that you'll agree

You are that Special One for me.

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