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Maybe I will

tell you how this story goes

how I don’t break

it’s like I don’t know it’s like

what do you do when you’ve gone to the ocean just to get wet but all the water’s gone

All I know is I don’t know

how to be

when the threads are coming undone

I don’t know if this voice fits me anymore

if it will give me what I need from it

a penny I have put on the table

that won’t stop spinning

I don’t know if

the seasons will be the same

if you hold me

if I leave will I see clear enough to fly

but I do not have the time to

fade away

Rehousing cats

By jfarrell

The big clumps of fur falling off my eldest cat,

Tell me, loud and clear, that I ain’t coping;

Now I’m back at work, I’m not here,

To give the third meal a day (lunch) and clean their litter trays.

I’m not looking after them as well as I should,

So, I know it’s the responsible thing to do;

My youngest, Ollie, ginger, got taken in by a sweet old lady;

Chade, all black, going to what sounds like a hellhole.

I fear he won’t live long, living in yard with 20 other cats;

But, beggars can’t be choosers;

And they’re just cats!

Right?

At 49, they’re the only family I’m ever gonna have;

My mum can die, I wouldn’t spit on her;

I talk to my sister 10 minutes on her birthday, 10 on mine;

My cats are the only living thing I felt close to. Ever.

My only real life source of acceptance,

Of being loved, being needed,

Being part of something more, other, than me;

And I’m not even a ‘cat’ person.

I’ve just given Chade what I think is a death sentence;

Maybe I’m tired; maybe “it’s just Monday”;

Maybe it’s the sudden rent arrears, or not enough hours…

But Chade leaving, and where he’s going to

Is what makes me cry tonight.

After centuries of growth in a warm, blue sky,

The air turned cold in a blink of an eye

Lush, green mountains, now covered in snow

Once hearty and fruitful, now nothing will grow

Lakes and streams, where a country fed

Solidly frozen, all signs of life dead

Thrown into an Ice Age, by a clouded sun

Man's own undoing, hard life has begun

Our daily struggle in a frozen hell...

            A quest for life, only time will tell.'

All this time, I've been told..."Absence makes the Heart grow fonder,"

Only to find out, you're just left dazed and empty inside. You remain

Standing alone, smoldering in ashes, then drowning in a pool of sorrow,

Made from a river of your own tears to extinguish the flame.

Now you're stuck up a creek without a paddle as you plummet

Over the falls into the dark obyss, churned up in endless swells of

Self pity and loneliness.  Drenched and half drowned from swallowing

Your pride, you pull yourself up on the rocky shore, pausing for a

Moment to catch a breath and reflect back, realizing, you survived.

Now, the long walk home, weighing your options, sequencing events,

Taking in all that's happened, you are anxious, and anticipate making

better plans... for your next, wild adventure.

......

Yes, that's me.

I know.You thought you got it all.

Sucked up into the vacuum

And emptied into the trash

3 months ago with the other pieces of me

You threw onto the kitchen floor,

The picture perfect memories 

Of how you thought things were,

Weren't.

And so I figured I'd just hang out quietly,

And wait for the opportune time

To slide under your skin,

And remind you what color you bleed,

Just because I can.

The piece that was forgotten,

Left behind after weeks and months

Of your painstaking efforts to forget,

Only to show you how I never left,

The indelible ink 

Scripted in your best penmanship,

On the finest silken threads

That grew into all the things 

You can never leave behind.

I'm yours.

You're mine.

Our mind.

It's like the hugest splinter

We can never leave behind.

I'll be home at six. 

Dinner is in the oven.

You never know,

Tonight could be the night

We left behind.

<3

......

I speak my mind.

Don't like it?

Too bad.

I bear you my soul.

Don't like it?

Too bad.

I believe that all beings and 

life forms are all the same, 

and different, 

at the same time, 

and that we are slowly losing 

our connection to this concept 

as a species, and it is destroying us.

Don't like it?

Too bad.

I believe there is a sanctity 

that lies within each individual,

every animal,

every life form.

Don't like it?

Too bad.

Don't like my

style of self-expression?

My authenticity?

My 'attitude'?

My disgust with closed-minded people?

My honesty?

My truth?

It's just plain too bad.

I love yours, and I hope 

one day we can meet halfway.

4:20 PM 6/28/2013

©

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zIW8qDPhos

.........

Steam by Ria J. Leon
_______________________________________
What stays but bruised remains
of flesh and blood and bone,
a storm, too violent for thought
and gruesome and grim as
dying alive, stalks me.
My vessel it takes, and haunts me,
fade from me, take this from me,
no time could help or wound to heal,
but as it drain my life and mind
My soul, always bright, dulls
and glimpsed so fleeting,
i cant be sure of it or sanity,
like fall from summer and winter from fall,
it wasn't real, how can memory be real?
This thirst, this thirst,
I cannot strive nor fair
the world if thirst is wrong
dream for me, my mind has gone,
The swirling colors and feeling forgotten
have left a mark upon my soul,
no price to pay, no song, no hope nor dream
just a fire turned to steam.