love lost

Love, Gone

Why did you leave me

Lingering here?

Where have you gone

And why did you go?

 

I am left 

Confused

Feeling empty

Lonely

 

I long to hear your voice

To see your script

To know

You are thinking of me

 

Love is harsh

When you have to 

Let go of someone

Allow them to be free

 

Someone 

You long for

Someone 

You love 

 

Who left you behind

And gives nothing

No explanation

No final word

 

It hurts

It kills

It boils my skin

Leaving open blister

 

My heart

My soul

Every inch of me

Needs you

 

I want you

So

I'm suffocating

Without you

 

You are no longer here

Gone for good

I whisper your name

But you cannot hear me

Author's Notes/Comments: 

3/23/2018

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Release Me

 

I have wasted

My time

My energy

My breath on you

 

I have gotten

Nothing

Emptiness

Loneliness from you

 

You have fooled me

Put a veil over my eyes

Tricked me

Into loving you

 

You have taken, everything

My heart

My body

My mind from me

 

Yet

I love you 

I crave you

I yearn for you

 

Where is there reason,

When love is involved?

Where is reality,

When emotions run wild?

 

I would ask

But there is no answer

You leave me in silence

To stand on my own

I long to crumble

Fall into pieces

Cry to the heavens

Cry out to you

 

Never will you be

Mine own heart

Mine own soul

Or any part

Of mine own being

 

So… let me go

Set me free

Open your palms

And release me

 

Please...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

3/14/2018

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It's ok to let go of me

We stand alone, yet together in our thoughts.

Our hearts beat in perfect sync and harmonize the sweetest songs.

But the world was always spinning around while we were singing,

And we kept smiling, hoping to never lose these lackadaisical feelings.

But the world had started to split, you started to fall.

You reached for me, longing for my touch, keeping you from falling into malevolent darkness.

I held you tightly, your hand was soft and frail, yet warm, strong.

Then the world tilted, and you rose whilst I descended.

You threw your arm out at me. I flailed, risking whatever I could do wrap my hand around your arm.

To feel your warmth still holding onto me, you held me, and I was safe, because you were there.

You were smiling, and I smiled, but then I saw your eye glisten, your mouth opened, and I was scared.

Your tears tapped upon our tangled hands. You said, you whispered to me, "I love you".

You slipped, now I'm falling down, straight down, I screamed and choked on my fits of fear.

You were screaming, so loud and so scared, your voice faded away.

I heard you say "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" as I closed my eyes, I was weak, couldn't try anymore.

I hit the ground, but I stayed whole, it shattered around me.

Am I dead? This make shift ground that broke around me, is it my subconscious?

Was my life flashing before my eyes? Was I still falling, or floating? Will I ever find my way out?

These fragments are vivid, I saw you there, floating around me, you were there with me.

Smiling in one flash, crying in another... But you were always there, in these far-off memories.

Or are they dreams? After all, I could have only dreamed for someone like you to come along,

To understand and just feel for me, care for me. Were you ever really there?

Were you just my sweetest dreams that I devoured to fast, like the sweetest of candies that we shared?

Now I lie down in this cold area. I'm floating between the conscious and unconscious, living and dead.

Am I trapped here? Will I ever be with you again? Am I ever going to be ok? Do I want to go back...?

Whether you were a dream or a distant memory, I don't care about what you did to me.

I just want you to keep fighting for me, or the memory of me, ok?

Just know that I still love you, whether you were a dream or a distant memory,

I love you more than you would ever know.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this a while ago for a friend

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tags:

The Long Road Ahead

The long road is winding but more so the talk;

I should try never to run before I can walk.

So much anticipation for a time that will never arrive.

There are many other things coming that I’ll need to survive.

 

But none quite as dangerous as affairs of the heart.

But where to begin; it’s best to begin at the start.

Do I indulge my true thoughts, try to stay with the pace?

Do I try to finish first; Ha; I’m not even in the race?

 

Afraid to look and afraid not to,

Afraid of what’s looking back; of what will ensue,

The road is getting bumpy; but not yet unbearable.

It may be still become smooth and inviting, yet terrible.

 

How deep do I go? It really doesn’t matter.

It’s like climbing a tall building without a tall ladder.

I sometimes fool myself, but I don’t think I’m a fool.

But I’m not very good at playing it lose or playing it cool.

 

There’s a curve up ahead, we must go ‘round to see,

I already know what’s there, waiting for me.

I’ve seen it before in many forms and disguises,

It’s better to have cared deeply, and still lose all the prizes.

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Please, Don't Go

Please don't go --  

I hardly knew you.   

I hardly knew whether you  

liked your carrots and hummus with  

blueberry tea, chai, or if you  

preferred water.  I hardly knew  

if pancakes were your favorite  

with fresh fruit, or if waffles  

could have been substituted.   

I hardly knew if classical music was  

your jam, though Hozier definitely broke  

through. 


Please don't go,  

I need you whole and  

I love you so; your presence gives me  

flutterbys that calm my crazy stomach.   

I hardly knew whether Scarlett  

matched your eyes.   

I hardly knew if your taste in literature  

was acquired, like that sweet tooth for ice cream,  

or if your very genes turned on  

the expression of a bookworm.   

I hardly knew the soles of your glorious feet  

and where they would want to be planted,  

given the chance to take root.   

hardly knew if your sleepy eyes  

looked for mine  

before guiding your consciousness  

into dreams. 


Please don't go.   

I want you forever, and  

I know that's selfish, but  

I've never expressed greed like this  

before.   

You are the sweetest notes  

to ever grace my ears;  

sweeter than the twinkling of  

the brightest star,  

sweeter than the tigers spoken by Mary Jane,  

sweeter than any ice cream I could possibly name. 


So please don't go --  

you keep me whole.   

I love you so. 


Cire Luey Freemind

Author's Notes/Comments: 

a freewrite

Closeness, No More

The cold distance,

Between my fingers;

The void,

Where you once sat.

The abyss that grows wider,

As curiosity gets the best of me.

There you are again,

Running in circles,

Sicker than a lab rat.

When was it,

You and I?

Where is the closeness --

That sigh of relief?

The gap widens,

Slipping further,

And then I let go.

No longer is there the need --

To sink my fingernails in,

And hold on for dear life.

The abyss will swallow me --

The void of blackness will consume me 

--

And there will be nothing left.

A shell --

Something no longer in existence,

Where I once would have been.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

11/2015

Drowning

Maybe it's karma,
For some unknown wrong I have done in my life.
Maybe I am really just a horrible person,
Who doesn't deserve honesty.
Maybe I just trust too easily,
When really I thought it was hard to win my trust.
Why must I always jump in with both feet,
Instead of testing the water first,
When I already know,
I don't know how to swim? ...
I know I`m going to drown before I even jump,
But I jump anyway,
I let myself get lost in the pleasure of falling,
The first feel of the water,
As it gently embraces my body.
I get so lost in the sensation,
I forget that pleasure is fickle and short lived.
I sink farther by the second.
I don't even realize how far I've sunk,
Until I lose my breath...
And the surface can't be found...
I look around in a panic for those I hold so dear,
In hopes my dearest one will be near,
Only to realize...
I'm alone.
Left here to drown,
In a pool of falsities.....

A Piece of the Puzzle

Folder: 
Love

1. You were a piece of the puzzle that I never had to place

2. You just fit into every crevice of my life like cement, fixing the cracks and broken bits, mending me with your words

3. Your words made me feel whole again. Like it wasn't so bad that I had ears that stuck out or a quick temper. Like I was loved.

4. Love was a word you never uttered. Not out loud, not to me. Not even when my world was falling apart.

5. When we finally fell apart. No not fell, crumbled, and not apart because we were never really together were we? At least not to you.

6. You were what I wanted in life because 

7. You never seemed like you had to try, but trying was all you did.

7. But trying was all you did

7. But trying was all you did.

 

8. Did you try to love me?

9. Did you want to love me? 

10. Did you love me.

 

11. I couldn't make you love me.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Ok so I feel this should be a spoken word poem but I am yet to be brave and/or crazy enough to make a youtube and post it so here it is. Feel free to read it out loud as dramatically as possible because thats what it should be. Dramatic. Hopefully you enjoyed reading and feel free to let me know how you felt about the poem and give as much advice/criticism as you like. Thanks for reading! 

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Jeete hain zardaar to duniya me Daulat ke Liye

Jeete hain zardaar to duniya me Daulat ke Liye

Sirf muflis hain jo martein haiN Izzat ke Liye 

 

Pyar duniya se hai kam to gham nahi kuch bhi hame

Hum to jeete hai yahan Rab ki Rahmat ke Liye

 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

A love which is ever blind, but lover cannot determine it in love, after loose their love they can understand about it, and always think like this poem. 

This poem is based on love looser and how act after loose their love is defined.
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