surrender

Relapse

I've come to the realisation:

Depression is like an addiction,

Always the chance of relapse.

It would be so easy, perhaps.

 

So easy to fall back into old routines:

Anxiety and the influence of fiends;

The familiar melancholy, just one sip;

Surrender to the incessant drip, drip, drip.

 

Existence is a losing battle,

Watching people slaughtered like cattle.

To lose one's faith - to lose resilience

Would be surrender to life's persistence.

Sweet Surrender

Folder: 
Dark

Someday, sweet surrender

You'll have me by your means

Will you take me softly?

Will you make me scream?


Someday, sweet surrender

Your laugh will be the last

Upon my deafening ears, linger

I'm falling to your grasp


Someday, sweet surrender

My memories will surface, tenfold

Hushing my mind to silence

A lonely descent into the cold


Someday, sweet surrender

The fireflies will fly, high

Above, below, around me

Ashes dance upon the sky

A Fever

Folder: 
Voodoo

Brilliant warm reds

caress the darkening sky

A fever pitch of

colored emotion

I am not at all

at peace

Pieces come un glu ed

with blue blurred

lines and a hopscotch

of memories


Spinning and spinning

Eyes upward, heart heartward, feet floating

 

I can swim but sometimes drowning scares

the hell out of me

Inside. I stay there often; too often.

Too often, time is reduced to

tentative and fleeting moments.

Brilliant warm reds

caress the darkening sky

A fevered pitch of

colored emotion

I am not at all at peace

Pieces come un glu ed

Though, sometimes-

the glow of sunshine

defrosts my thoughts

and devastates my

structured palace

The walls, they tumble down

And, in the span of two small breaths

I step outside

to not just watch

but to become.

Two small breaths

-Laughter

Two small breaths

-Joy

Two small breaths

-Surrender

Two small breaths

-Drowning


Spinning and spinning

Eyes upward, heart heaving, feet frantic

 

The heavy drum of heartache

beats beats beats

I can swim

but only

if I stay inside

Only, inside.

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14 Poems: No Asterisks, Surrender Is Merging, No Future, Making Amends and 10 Other Poems

Folder: 
Poem Strings

14 POEMS


-saiom shriver-



NO ASTERISKS

*

Thou Shalt Not Kill does not have the word 'humans' after it.
We are asked to kill no being.

*

Footnote: Jesse Ventura: Thou shalt not kill is not asterisked
with exceptions


SURRENDER IS MERGING

*

Surrender is not coercion but merging in the
River of Love which flows us
to the Sea of All Love.
*
NO FUTURE

*

When stock markets invest in pork futures, they do not
care about the future of the pigs. When ancient Romans
with auspices subdivided sheep entrails to foretell their destinies,
they were not interested in the destinies of the sheep.

*

MAKING AMENDS

*

we have many fish to unfry... and to resurrect

*

BAYER MAKER OF ASPIRIN CAUSES PAIN TO COUNTLESS MILLIONS

*

Bayer kills bees with apicides
Bayer kills birds with avicides
Bayer makes starlicides.. killing starlings
Bayer kills frogs and many living beings.

*

FT CAMPBELL KENTUCKY

*

Ft Campbell Kentucky used a detergent spray starlicide to
cause tens of thousands of blackbirds to freeze to death....as they lost insulation.
the heat from their bodies rising like mist as their souls rose from this cruel planet.
Their dying bodies fell out of the trees in which they had
sought shelter for the night.

*

Footnote: Ann Cottrell Free wrote a moving description as she witnessed the atrocity.

*

BOOZE VIOLENCE

*

When some drink too much
alcohol, the party icebreaker..
become bottlebreakers... and
some use the dangerous weapon to
harm and kill

*

LOVING ABUSERS

*

In that life God made him look like
a monster... and told him that his
test was to love all, and to love most
those who most abused him
*
THOU ART NOT DUST

*

Thou art not dust
To dust thou shalt not return.
Thou art not the body, the shell
Thou art Spirit which arose
unique..when the body fell

*

JANUARY TOUCH

He touched hello the lowhanging
pine branch in January... and then
wondered if he was disturbing the
winter tree's dreams?'

*

VACCINES HARMING MAXINES

*

Drug countries in developing lethal pseudovaccines
harm lab animals like Zach, Ann, Maxine

GE

*

War propagandist NBC
owned by war profiteer GE
which filled the Hudson
with PCB's

revised from earlier posting

*

DUGWAY PROVING GROUND

Dugway Proving Ground
Birds flying overhead
have dropped down dead
*
Footnote:
Dugway Proving Ground U.S. Army facility created in 1942 to test biological & chemical weapons, 85 miles (140 km) sw of Salt Lake City, 13 miles south of the 2,624 sq mi Utah Test and Training Range Birds flying over it have dropped dead from poisonshttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dugway_Proving_Ground …

THE GENERAL'S BOMBS

    From his safe Florida
    computer station
    he sent out bombs did
    General Franks..
    which turned human beings
    into franks

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alive

cardboard memories shadows dweling in the sun..
let me touch you to know what it is to be alive..
let me feel you deep inside and surrender to you to feel that life flowing pure into your embrace..
i look to see if i live and my eyes stutter across your beautiful skin and therein lies my answer..

Not just face value.

Love is a cardboard cut out.

4 letters thrown together in surrender.

Because they couldn't find a word to match Sunday mornings in your tshirt,

And The weight of your arms across my ribs.

Needing nothing.

Being whole. 

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anonymous

never having climbed too far
she hadn't far to fall ...
the choices were not easy ones
with her back against the wall ~

the steady sound of water drips
was all that she could hear …
their ever rising levels
added fuel to her fears ~

she couldn’t jump – she couldn’t stay
she knew she’d die here either way …
with arms uplifted, clutching air
her final debt was paid.

may she rest in peace.

© Debbie Finlay
07-27-2011

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