Unrequited Love

WINDOWS

From my window,I can see you lost in each other's gazes
In the midst of the hazes brought on my passion's blazes
From your window,can you see me before a shattered mirror
Cause the image which appeared bore a figure that was clearer
Long ago?

From my window,I can see you living out your story
Basking in the glory of never needing to be sorry
From your window,can you see me lost in a sea of doubt
Wondering what life's about in a world now without
Your glow?

Myself in the mirror has become so distorted
And through each scrawl and squiggle,I've sifted and sorted
In a quest for who I am or who I used to be
Or if,in fact,there ever was a me

From my window,I can see you in the arms of another
Secure in the love for this moment you've discovered
From your window,can you see me with head bent and kneeling
In search of a healing from this overwhelming feeling
Of shame?

From my window,I can see you dancing in the moonlight
Silohuetted in the twilight and everything is all right
From your window,can you see me as my spirit's slowly dulling
With teardrops steadily falling and each one calling
Out your name?

Myself in the mirror no longer bears reflection
While the lines of your shadow point in each direction
Yet I can't turn aside,ever hopeful for a glance
Of the stemming of the tide of romance

From my window,I can see you having all you need
Finding the path to lead to where you will succeed
From your window,can you see me lost along the trail
My whisper's now a wail,it's my destiny to fail
Oh,my

From my window,I can see you happily ever after
With smiles and laughter ringing down from the rafters
From your window,can you see me? No,you can't,I pulled the shade
The final card's been played,I've got nothing but a spade...
Goodbye

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loved soaked rain

we walked around your nieborhood

and then it started to rain...

my natural reaction was to run for cover

but you wanted to stay out

and walk around in the  rain

so how could i say no

i was young and stupid but so were you

we walked around and splashed it puddles  like we were kids

it was  fun...

but  i ruined it

i think i did

i pulled you close as  rain dripped off your face

and your hair  became dark and thick

it felt like a good time to tell you how  i felt

and i brought you in and  looked inside your eyes

and told you "i think im falling in love with you"

you seemed  startled

like the water was clogging  your ears.

but i had let the first  shot off

and the  worse thing that could happen is  for you not to return fire

i poured my heart out like the rain poured  from the sky

but like the water my words just ran off you on to the  ground

I told you iloved you in the  rain

but you had nothing to say...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

the first time i told a  girl i loved her... if your a  guy never ever say it first

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Too Lovely But For A Dream

You are too lovely to be true

I owe my life to you

Or at least an ample portion

Of what I have come to.

Not to say it is great

Or even anywhere close,

But having you in my life

Is what I’m obliged the most.

This is just a silly rhyme

Meant mostly to kill the time

For anytime not spent with you

Is more worthless than anything I can do.

If you will be in my life

It would be the best to me

If you would just be my wife

Or let me serve you alone in humility

Then I would have little

Of which to ask for

I would have much of my life in store

I’d say you’re nothing short of a god

Whom I worship and adore,

But my saying such pathetic things

Just slams another door.

Obsession is not becoming

One cannot wear it like a crown.

It is instead the diadem of wishful stone

That crushes the skull and weighs one down.

You have learned this lesson the hard way

When you were once enamored as well

With another whose praise and beauty

I am sure you would still gladly tell.

It has been a long almost-year now

Since I met you for the first time before,

But you are the type that can’t get enough

And leaves everyone else wanting more.

How can I go another day without seeing you again?

It’s next and near to impossible,

But I’ll be happy until then

If I can dream of you and spend just a moment of my day

In quiescence and in reverie until you

Once more come my way.

I know that when you come again

It will not be the same for you as it is for me,

But I just want your guarantee

That you will let me keep on dreaming

And speak no word of what in my eyes you see.

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why we could never be

i cannot love you

because you drive me mad.

i know that if i

ever waded through the

silken goldilocks braids

and trembling girl thighs,

if i ever touched you

as a lover should,

the rabbit would have

no more turtle to race;

the boy would have

no more nymph to chase.

sometimes getting the prize

is the best part

and the spoils are just

an end.

another day, another madness.

i will stay steeped

in this stage, but only

up to my knees.

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The Gallery

I am going to keep you forever.

It'll be a corner devoid of dust

where the spiders pack up

their cobwebs and leave for good,

where you shine brighter

than any other sadist's portrait,

where nothing will ever touch

you and where no one will

disturb you. That's how you like it.



I am going to keep you forever.

Your body is too fine an art

for marzipan, so sugar paste will

have to do. I hope you can forgive me.



I am going to keep you forever.

I'll watch you melt in summer,

but I'll have to repair you, as you

never were one for weakness. If it

hurts you, it'll kill me; I'll build

your replica again. Perfection always

was your favorite accessory.



Am I going to love you forever?

I tried to make you go away. I

burned all of your pictures, I cut

up every dress you ever touched, I

shaved my head because you

loved my hair, but I still hear

that voice in my head. It aches.



I am going to keep you forever.

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Tom

When I fell in love

with him, I was weightless.

I tied myself to concrete

blocks to stay grounded.



Then he turned,

fists tight at his side

but shoulders held limp,

and faked anger. He said

I wasn't needed any more.



Such a light dismissal plays

heavily on my heartstrings.



Now I am sinking.

Now my fingers are

tied to seagulls, one bird

a piece, and I breath

helium. I want to float

out of this hole

I'm sinking in to.

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You are worthy of my tears

Folder: 
2005

I got the verdict and opened it up

found out it wasn't me that you love

waiting so long for this answer

maybe I was heading for disaster

but at least I know that at least I tried

and that all of my tears are worth being cried

because I loved you enough to cry for you

you are worth these tears that are fresh and new

you still want to be friends and I'm grateful for that

and I guess I can deal with where I now seem to be at

because I am thankful that I got to love someone this much

even if they didn't feel the same it was nice to really love

for to be able to love someone as much as I loved you was a gift

so although it ended in tears I would never change any of this

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mining

Until the rows of dynamite

came upon me, extinguishing

lights and holding conference,

I was such a marvelous girl.

I was never drowned in the whirl

of other people; I had confidence.



Then I was caught up in some

object state of immortal delirium,

dreaming of only one man.

Until the explosions come to an end

and the dynamite clouds descend,

I'll be bridled in his hand.

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For Paul

i will not go to love anymore.

every time i get there,

they swing the door around

for somebody else.

she does not like titles,

i do not like titles:

he marries her

and becomes a title.

all is heartbreak.

i'm not even sure

if the journey is worth the fare.

i will not go to love anymore.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

For Paul, who always lets me angst with him.

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