Unrequited Love

poem_073_Emerged_Emotion

Contemplating, revising, and denying

I sat looking at two screen names

My boyfriend and an ex while sighing

Trying to stop the fight with my head games



I know I love Gerald, my boyfriend

But I have unsettled feelings with my ex

Adam was something special that came to an end

Which lead to feelings that were complex



Good times came into thought

Old feelings came in too

Not wanting to get caught

I thought of what to do



I’d mention to Gerald of my past

And how it never died

It went by through me so fast

And no time to let them subside



He might take it a wrong way

Since he’s been through this before

But I don’t want us to start to decay

Because he’s someone I truly adore



I don’t want the feelings back

Because they’ll just interfere

I had everything set on track

And now they’re all clear



I read a blog that was rather revealing

Befuddling questions filling my mind

I kept repressing the growing feeling

But others were starting to unwind





Inspired by: Adam G. Zimmerman

Created on: October 6, 2005

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Unrelenting Self

I try to convince,

and even conceive,

of those notions,

and emotions,

being not what they seem.



But as the days grow longer,

And my self-faith grows stronger,

Those notions,

and emotions,

become so meager.



So in my head I pray,

Wether be it night or the day,

That these notions,

and emotions,

Go away.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

In my head are a million outcomes, and I can't see the ones I wanted anymore.

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A Twist

Picking fights with

sleep and

time and

obligations,



snatching kisses,

gaining wishes

and fleeting

futures,



searching for

what never was -



there were dances,

happinesses and dreams,

but nothing else



save twistings

and departures

and eclipsing

circumstances.



Sleep always wins.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A memory from a trip to Pittsburgh.

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Waiting Beneath That Tree

All the air that sweeps by.

With every touch upon my sensitive skin.

I waver beneath that tree.

The one that pulls me close with warmth.

Wind brushes against my exposed neck.

And it sends a chill down my neck.

My chest feels cold and heavy.

Each heart beat questions my reasons for coming here.

The intentions were pure, i assure.

However, that doesn't stop me.



A gentle touch against my shoulder.

I feel it dancing across my face.

Wind, so soft, and so callouse.

But oh so beautiful.



Cannot decide why I am still waiting.

No sure reason why I should be standing here.

Shivering and holding myself tight.

Had I hoped to see?

Had I hoped to avoid?

'Perhaps,' you say, 'perhaps.'



This persistant thought of you.

So stupid inside my head.

The tree that means so much!

A precious park with memories littered upon it.

I cannot erase.

And I do not regret.

So what is this feeling?



This desire to see you?

The desire to hold your hand?

Heaven forbid it.

Should I wait longer?

Can I with stand the cold and the damage to my pride.

So hurt, I am, so hurt.



A tap. tap. tap. on the shoulder.

A warm smile to greet my worried eyes and tear stained cheeks.

Something so unfamiliar in you.

But, I see it.

I see in in me.

Just because I waited.

Beneath that stupid, important....

Tree.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

and i know that i cannot accept this now, but i will in a while... perhaps it will be a much longer time then i think it to be.... but waiting may be the only thing to save me from myself....

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Meaning “I love you”

Folder: 
Other poems

I thought when a person said I love you it meant something

But I guess when you says it, it means nothing

It comes so fluently out of your mouth

Like you know what its all about

Its suppose to come from the heart

To a person that you would never leave in the dark

You say it so fast

Trying to make things last

Now I know that you would never be ready

To have a real girl and go steady

Love is though thick and thin

But it was the thick that did you in

You rather give up then fight for it

Obviously your love was never really worth it

Go ahead think that I cheated

Believe that girl that u just meeted

It wasn’t true love if you have already moved on

I turned around and you were gone

You said that I left you broken hearted

I think you were scared of how far we have come since we started

If it was true love you would have called

And tell me that your love me still all in all

I told you that I love you

And I the sad part is, I still do

But a broken heart can only wait so long

Then it’s gone

I don’t know how you think I have no Idea what love is all about

It was my love that never fell out

I just pray that the next girl you ask out

Knows what your “I love you” are all about


Author's Notes/Comments: 

I hope those who read this will realize that saying I love you isnt somthing to take lightly and that you breaking that persons heart if you say it and you dont mean it

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Trigo-No-Me-Him

In math class is all the same

I think about you everyday.

20 times you smiled at me and made me high

The 5 times you reminded me you are not mine

Minus the times I missed you

Turning my light Midnight Blue.

Times it by the times you touched me

And the times I hurt you.

Square the root of our relationship

And the product is the sinking of the Titanic.

If I knew me plus you is undefined

I wouldn’t of have wasted my slats when I cried.

But I know there is one true

Whether I divide or times, it all adds up to you.

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you again

You are the source of all my feelings in the world.

you make me feel the  best

and the worst that i possibly can



something dirty gots you dear

makes me want to be with you



somethings painfuls with you dear

makes me want to be with you



i know  every one sees  how  beutiful that you are

and i now  like a paricite you feed off that attention.



thats  not the  part im inlove with.

im in love with the part of you that  says  proufound things

im in love with the  free spirit that  speaks her mind



unfortunantly i feel like i dont get to see any of those sides

im left a lone  on hte  side and  alone



i want things to work

but i dont think you do



i will always  love you

no matter  how painful it is to me.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

the first love of my life...
and she doesnt  even know  i still love her

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love's never meant to be

She called a few months back.

said that she wanted to see me again before i left...

i planned to move out of the country

like any interested  party i aggreed to the meeting.

and a few weeks later she  flew in and was there in front of  

the words weren't easy to say...

but  we knew there was a connection there.



we still had feelings for each other after years of not speaking.

and those were hard years... constantly wondering what the other is doing and  if she stilll even cared.. and wondering why i still even though about  her.





she told  me she  didnt want me to leave  because  she wanted to try again... this new  came as a shock... ithought  she  moved on found a new life in the hills... but  all the  words that came out of her mouth were as sweet as the nape of her neck tasted....



needless to stay i stuck around waiting  for this move  back into mylife that  happened late last year... nothing major just meets  more talking  a little  groping and a  lot of making  out... and  things felt good ... i felt   at peace i felt  good  knowing the  love of my life was willing to give it another  chance...



and then silence... two weeks and  counting... unaswered  phone calls and meetings that were planned nthat never  materielized...

and here i sit making  excuses for  on why she never called  or  said anything in the  past two weeks...

when in all honesty i know the  truth... or at least i have an idea...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

i loved  K.
i feel she's moved on...

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At First Sight (Where It Starts)

We first cast our eyes

On a world of demise

The earth we found

So beautiful, so it's bound

To end, just like that

For reasons------what

We never could understand

Answers slip right out of hand

But love------is right!

It starts at first sight.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Dedicated to J.

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