Memories

I have so many memories that I could carry through my life.

Some great ones that would keep me entertained for a while.

But the ones that I carry close to my heart are the ones that I spent

with you.

From the moment we met on WWF, our first text message, our first

time talking on the phone, our first time Facetiming, the nights we would

talk on the phone while I was at work, and the moment I got in your car

at the airport.

Do you remember those times?

Those are my happiest memories of my life. 

I can still hear your voice telling me you loved me that night.

I remember what you were doing when you told me that. 

I say those are happy memories but fuck, I am sitting here

crying with sadness.

Not just because I miss you its also because you are the love of my life

and you don't love me anymore.

And I fear you will never love again or that you never love me the way you did back then.

I would give  my life to go back to that time I spent with you and tell you I will come back to you I promise.

That I have seen my future without you and it's dark and gloomy.

And it fucking sucks and its no future. 

Because you are the one I want.

I knew it then and I know it now.

I will always know it.

You are the one I love more than I could ever fucking imagine.

So please know I will be back.

And I would fucking move heaven and hell and come back to you.

I would do everything to be with you.

I wish to God you would see that everyday I live with this regret.

This self hate.

Yes these memories make me happy because I see you beautiful smiling face and those

soft brown eyes that dance when you smile and talk.

Your smile lights up a room and it fills my heart with such love for you.

But it's also bittersweet because you and I were together when I think of those times.

Then reality hits.

And it fucking hits hard.

You are there and I am here.

And you don't love me anymore.

And yet I am still loving you as much as I did then if not more.

Once more your memory comes back and lets me know what a fool I am. 

 

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