Rainy Night

Rainy night.
You and I in a different world,
we were one, you and I on --
that rainy night.

Thoughts have left me awake
night and day,
thinking of you,
that rainy night.

Fingers intertwined,
breaths mingled,
our flesh became one,
oh that daring night,
that rainy night.

Months have passed,
years will pass,
but my thoughts will still be on --
that rainy night.

Where am I?

Upon a night which I’ve reminisced about the lost fractions of memories gone astray
I felt the stench of loneliness and despair gnaw at my skin, and cast upon me stagnation
The twilight prevailing the resonance of lost fates twinkles upon my eyes, and wipes tears away
I dissolve further into the mysterious fluorescence of the night, and venture to unpredictability

The breeze of this wavering night whispers the voices of those whose silence has overtaken
It unravels the desideratum of the souls lost in the fabric of inexplicable misery, and the passions latent within
It screams out the genuinely expressed intuition who crave the embrace of true transcendence
It cries through the ripples of rain drops the tales of what could have been, of what should have been

The breaths associated with the pace of my walk slowly drifts into the mode of contemplation
I witness the slow wavering of the trees in the night, the tickling of the whispering wind crawling up my spine, the motion of car lights and objects into the fading distance, the flickering of the moon’s shine in the gloom of the night, the beats of my overwhelmed heart, and the thoughts racing through my head all at once, then I stand in awe and wonder,
Where am I?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Hope you enjoy it :)

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2010-2012 Poems

Rain pours down, droplets glide
Forming crystal-like patterns
On the gloomy glass window
Where I rest my weary head on.

Bokehs of green lights,
Red glares on rear bumpers.
Yellow suns at night, gleam.
I squint at the creaking wipers.

Strobing lightning, growling thunder,
Snobbed by the busy road.
People chattering behind, in all languages...
I close my eyes, oblivious.

I feel the Earth spin so fast as I sit still.
The seconds of my life tick.
Purpose. Mission. Calling.
I brace myself...exhale.

Doing a lot, but missing a lot.
You can't have it all.
But deep inside, you have a strong sense-
Why this is what you are living for.

Dreams. Passion. Happiness.
All the roads lead to where I am.
Here and we go.
Sometimes, you just wonder--if it's all worth it.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

-(c)jerlin 21Oct11 --7.28pm (on the bus,KL)

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there's nothing left
of my heart
or my soul
not a single shred
left to hold on to
its been ripped
apart so many
as if thats the way
life is supposed to be
for me..................
heading in a downward
spiral towards
thats what lies
ahead for me
betrayed, regretted, not the right type
wrong, nothing

Author's Notes/Comments: 

oct. 23, 2011


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"Peace begins with a smile" -Mother Teresa

Quote A Day

The great Mother Teresa was a very quotable kind of lady. As a matter of fact, it seemed like God blessed her with the gift of words, the ability to fight off an army of hate just by opening her mouth to speak a few thoughts of love. I suppose that is where this all begins. You must understand her talent, the beauty of her gift, and the divinity of it all. To not love Mother Teresa is like a cardinal sin, but I suppose it it possible. So if you are reading this and think that way maybe you should understand what she is to me, verse to the world.
Everyone knows her story, so I wont go into it, but her story in my life is a bit different. In my life, she kinda doesn't really well exist. Of course she did and was an amazing woman, with a lot to share and cared about the well being of everyone but her words her works, where never directly spoken to me. So she is like a fairy, like an angel. And I believe in her, the same way I believe in God. I don't hold her that high, she isn't even a close second. However they are both beings that guide me, and they happened to be good friends. A quote from Mother Teresa was my come to Jesus moment, and every time I read her words, I have a come to Jesus moment, you might not, but we aint talking about you. To me she was superhuman, the things she did on this earth were not possible without the lord. She is proof in my eyes that Jesus is real., and that somebody really does love me.

Now that we got all that out of the way, the next quote from her won't haver to have such a long intro.

"Peace begins with a smile", but what the heck does that mean. For that matter what is peace in her eyes. Perhaps what she meant was that peace begins with a kind gesture, a smile not only with your mouth but with your heart. Maybe the way to solve the pains and hurt of the world is hidden in a smile. There are many ways to smile, you can smile with your eyes, your mouth of course, and a deeper way, that requires more thought, a smile with your heart. I believe she wanted us to smile with our hearts.
A smile isn't suppose to be a sneaky move, a dishonest display, but a kind way to say hello, or that you understand, or you love the person, or you understand. When you smile mean it, don't smile because you have nothing else to do. Don't abuse the power of a smile to hurt someone. Don't smile because someone tells you to, if they don't have a camera in front of you to capture the moment, you are only pretending to be happy. They say you only get what you give. Walk around pissed off and everyone and everything will piss you off any more. Yet a smile is contagious, a smile will warm a heart.
If a situation comes down to understand each other's point. Not giving in or giving up but simply listening and understanding where the other person is coming from. Facing their culture, their ideas with open eyes and an open heart. Smile. That smile regardless if you are still confused, means you are trying to understand. Or you don't really understand right now, it means you are gonna one day understand. Don't look a someone with wondering eyes or talk about someone because you don't understand the way they think, or the way they are. Just smile, and pray for understanding.
I think that is what she meant, let your heart smile. Don't grow bitter because you are confused or don't understand where the person is coming from. Take their words, their views in consideration. Review it more, talk to them about what how it feels to be them, put yourself in their shoes. Wouldn't you want someone to smell and show a little acceptance to you? The more we accept the differences between us will only make us stronger. Don't buy into the idea that if you believe in the right for someone to be love, believe or think differently then you do, that somehow your own values dimmish.
Who you are is who you are, you can't change you. You can only make you better. And while I am telling you to be kind to people who are different that you, I don't mean abandon your own differences. Simply accept theirs.

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Art of Breath


Yeaa my Flow is generated from thoughts that are music plated ; in my head i see the words gather up as i illustrate it ; spiitin on this mic making sure I keep it hydrated ; & with that my daughter is born ; right here in lyrical form ; so calm in beauty like balloons in the sky ; & I promise as long as I breath I'll keep my daughter alive ; with every inch of my body & every ounce of my soul ; i'll never let my passion burn out in deaths cold ~

Author's Notes/Comments: 

probably not completed but for now it is

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I Remember

I See

I remember the first time
We ever spoke
It was the most special day i of my life
Just to talk to you
Turned me into jelly
I started to melt right away
My heart was pounding
My hands were shaking
I could barely breathe
We got along so well
I could tell you anything
I could trust you
You understood me
In a way no one else ever has
You never put me down
Or make me feel like I don't count
You never try to change me
You take me for who I am
Even with me running to you
You never hurt me
I try not to ask to much
If you can talk
Or send me comments
Which i love, So I can read them when your not here
Or send me messages
I don't try to make demands
I would never want you to feel like your being
Pushed into anything
I just want the best for you
I want you to be happy
I want you in my life , until I draw my l ast breath
I never had love
Never knew love
Until the day I met you
The longer I know you
The more I love you
You always listen
Don't put me down
Always find time for me
Even when your busy
You don't demand
You have showed me real love
Sometimes I come on Strong
I say and do things I shouldn't
But I don't mean them
Im not asking for marriage
Im not asking for a ring
Im not asking for a house
Im not asking forvows or commitments
Im not asking anything of you
That you do not want yourself
But I am happy with you
I will never walk away
I will take each step with you
I will love you like no other ever has
You won't find me leaving you
I'll be with you to the end
Even when I draw my last breath
You will be with me. I will have your heart
As you have mine
As long as I have you in my life
We stay the way we are
Loving and caring for one another
I can do anything
I can be anything
Without you in my life
I would have nothing leftTo live for.

Love you Baby Angle

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the Head

Misc Poems

shove the plugs into my skull
music saturates my brain
the beat throbbing in my mind
permeating my thoughts
vibrating my dreams
making them real

Author's Notes/Comments: 

When I'm angry I listen to loud music in order to calm down. Last night I was in such a situation, and was also inspired to write this. Short, but passionate.

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Rose Garden

Red bird sitting on a window sill
Red candle blowing in the dark
Res roses on table set for two
Red wine to sip slowly
Red nightie, for my sexy love
Red satin sheet's to lay on
Red ribbon in my hair
Red lipstick to kiss your lips
Red fingernail polish on my nails
So I can run my fingers down your spine
Red car so we can race along
Red flames in our passion
Red glow all around
So we can see our love for one another
Red hot desire for a wild passionate night.
Red hot daddy ready to go
Red hot mama sets daddy's soul on fire.

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