envy

You Were Never the Victim

Wow, this is the best poetry book in the world.

I love how deep it is.

That one poem is so funny my heart skipped a beat.

I couldn’t take my eyes off of the pages.

And the most amazing part is,

It sucked.

A lot.

 

Who were you expecting, a white knight?

I’ve heard these jokes before in checkout lanes.

And the customers in front of me never knew you existed.

 

I’m not that pretentious.

But you are.

 

I do not have double standards.

But you do.

 

Someone whose castle is built on mediocrity can’t scare me into hiding.

But someone else might be.

 

The moat is heavily guarded by trolls that can ruin their lives

If they refuse to walk on eggshells around you.

 

I keep pointing out your flaws

But you never even see them.

Instead, you fired a bomb into the crowd

And ecstatically handed the cannon to me.

 

You impersonate a traumatized child so onlookers would feel bad for you

And point their fingers at me at the drop of the hat,

Leaving me with nothing else to say in my defense.

I’m beginning to believe you love the drama more than you love your craft.

You’ve thrown burnt bridges in the wind today and I’m off to the pen,

But I’ll let you have your fun for now.

 

I have stowed away in the back of the truck to escape my sentence,

But I’ve come back to fight you with a rocket.

 

I’ve been ready for perfect storms since my old flame tried to kill himself.

And pinned the blame on me because he wanted me all to himself.

I have nothing to lose if you play the “defenseless child” act again.

 

You may have been one locked in a tower once upon a time.

But you grew up to be a dragon and imprisoned someone else.

It’s not my fault that you made yourself look worse.

It’s yours.

You can stop lying to me now.

I know you were never the victim.

হিংসা

Folder: 
Je Na Sais Quoi

হিংসা

 

কেন হবে অর্থহীন হিংস্রতা

অজথা রাগে বিব্রত

ক্ষতিগ্রস্ত ক্ষুণ্ণ আত্মা

আক্রোশএর শিকার

ক্রোধে তপ্ত কঠোর

প্রতিশোধে প্রবণতা?

হিংসা কি আত্মমর্যাদার প্রতীক?

না নিজেরই প্রতি নিষ্ঠুরতা?

©️Jayati Gupta

Author's Notes/Comments: 

In Bengali

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Dark Hearts

Dark hearts are cageless in their frail ages  
and a slack pardon bruised the slaves wages.
Savage teeth tear deep as sleep in stifled air
and not a care drop to quench a thirsting dispair.

Harmonious discord made short by swift end
alone he must search for the sword to defend .
Then venimous measures may part with thier head
so envious treasures lay safe from the dead.  
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Envy

Folder: 
2014

Envy is

not a monster.

 

It is a disease, 

coiling its body around me, 

squeezing until I'm

not myself anymore.

 

Envy is not green…

it is black.

Black

like the center

of a chasm I can't leap.

Black

like the space behind your eyes, 

so dark you have to open them again.

Black

like my soul.

 

Envy

takes over the

controls of my heart, 

turning all of them up

so far

I can't go back.

It slips

like a snake

out of

the side of

your soul.

 

It leaves you breathless

as it wanders

in the air

to find another victim.

 

Envy.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 7/5/2014

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Silly Little Moon

You envy me so

With all of your might

You want to steal all my warmth

And extinguish my light

 

You covet my power

And my celestial role

You want to replace me

With all your heart and soul

 

You yearn for the control

Over the mornings and day

Your greed for more time

Has lead you astray

 

You try to block me out

Every couple of years

Unable to completely do so

It brings you to tears

 

You obsess over my fame

You detest all my praise

You despise my allure

And my warm loving rays

 

Void of any beauty

You feel dead and cold

Stories of your greatness

Will never be told

 

Forever chasing the day

You’re bound to the night

You will never be happy

Till you’re the only one on sight

 

Your quest to seize the day

Is useless and in vain

You’re stuck in your own orbit

That feeds your jealousy and pain

 

Your chance of replacing me as a star

Won’t be coming soon

For I’m the life giving sun

 

Silly little moon....

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salty aftermath

naked on the beach,
no towel underneath,
and the sand gritty
beneath, into, and
on top of everything
while lying next to the
ocean's rising tide,
the sea of hating,
remembering all
the loathing words
you spewed, berating,
salty drops of your envy
and resentment,
lost enchanment
drowns me, pulled
into the undertow
of remorse...

par for the course.

 

10:47 PM 4/27/2013 ©

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A poem about playing the victim role.

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Why Can't I Whistle?

Toot, toot, tweeeet, twoot, too-eh-eh-ooh~

She whistles softly with a knowing smile

Slightly embarrassed by her skill

Humble, sweet, in contrast to my wile.

 

Sounds flow sweetly, like the notes arrive

Hesitantly, bravely, each carrying their own weight

Of memories and feelings

So different from my declares of protective war.

 

Her naïve trebles and basses entraps and enraptures the hardest of souls

And coarsest of eyes, unknowingly,

Unlike my own purposeful seductive apples

I shower with a smile, a grin, a punch.

 

Maybe if I were like her

If I could whistle like her

Just maybe I could be like her

And receive some love too?

 

This evil, dirty thought

So vile and stuffing full of oozing black envy,

I'm ashamed of my noises.

Why can't I whistle instead?

Why can't I whistle?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Dedicated to a wondurful friend of mine xD

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This is what I want

I look around and all I see is happy couples that I envy
Wanting the smiles, the laughter wishing that's what we can be
But reality is a bitch and all we have is constant fighting
Going to bed not the way we intend is not the right thing
We don't want to end it because the feeling of it is amazing
Seeing each other with other people is just heart taking
You say its your fault and that I deserve better
You're a milestone in my life, I will not forget her
My choice is to stay together hoping we can be a phoenix
I want this movie to have a happy ending cause I've never seen it
Good in the beginning and now we're in a struggle
Hopefully this will end well, watch a movie then we'll cuddle
We may not be Hollywood actors, but the tears are real
The love ain't a prop, if you stay tuned it will be revealed
Our script isn't written in stone, so we still have a chance
Its up to us whether we want to nurture it like a plant.

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Dear Envy

Folder: 
poems

The thought of you being my friend, and turning my mother against me. You stealing my boyfriend and exploiting me on the internet. I still love you and have the same respect I had before this silly situation. Wheather you know it or not you are beautiful just the way you are, even though you dress like your a low self-esteem young girl. I just love the way you treat others. You inspire me soo much. You know like the way you minipulate and take advantage of those who love you for your own selfish benifits. What a good way to get to the top of the success ladder. I mean who now-a-days really work hard to become successfull? You are the most trust-worthy person i have ever met. I wish i could become more like you. Heartless, helpless, hopeless, nieve, and shallow. I think everyone should be more like you. Then maybe you could be our queen, so that we could follow your lead and you could make the world A BETTER PLACE.

p.s. write back soon. I'll hold my breath until you do. Im dying to hear your response.

Yours Truely,
LondonLe'Shawn

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