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I'm always talkin, to my damn-self, 

be-cause no one else, ever seems to listen to me. 

So I'm left talkin, to my damn-self, like I am crazy. 

I have good ideas, that no one ever hears, 

cause they're too busy,  always staring at a screen.  So I'm left talkin, to my damn-self, like I am crazy.

I'm often asking myself why, do I even try to get my voice, to be heard. 

Unless I shout and scream, no one hears me,

and when I do, they tell me, I'm mean.

Now I keep talkin, to my damn-self,

Cause there's no one else, who gives a damn about what I say,

 and ill keep talkin, to my damn-self, cause they drove me crazy.

I'm often asking myself why, do I even try, to get my voice, to be heard. 

Unless I Shout And Scream, No One hears me,

And when I Do, they tell me, I'm mean.

So I'm Left Talkin! To my damn-self! Cause there's no one left! who gives a fuck about what I say!

And I'll Keep Talkin, To My Damn-self, Cause I Am Cra-zy!!

Barbara Lynn

                            crazy lane!        2015

 there are diferent kinds of drivers so please beware

but the worst kinds of drivers you'll see out there

you'll wanna stand clear cuz there driving insane

and thats when you'll know your in the crazy lane

out there on the road they cause others to flee

to buzy texting and talking and can not see

that family of five driving at night in the rain

then they'll never forget they were in the crazy lane

so please listen carefully and see this as a warning

and you might just wake up to see tomorow morning

i hope you heard my plea cuz there'll be nothing to gain

if you dont drive responsably in the crazy lane

I see the hat atop your head, reads clearly, "Undisturbed"

But the straight Jacket really says it all.......

I got a case of the "Heebies Jeebies" from this disturbed...

Well, you know the type...

Misguided and delusional, with a melon,

Not quite ripe.

Everytime they make their presents known,

I cringe when I read the line...

Some, off the wall, psycho babble,

Sending shivers up my spine.

What's wrong with people nowadays,

Is it self abuse that rots the brain?

Or just narcissistic tendencies,

Which drive them past insane?

I kept on pushing, believing it will work

But I’m terribly wrong.

You never cared, you never loved

What kind of a person are you?

Was I never special to you?

Series of girls’ names I’ve heard

Looks like they got the same treatment as me.

But I was there longer.

You never appreciate the things I’ve done.

Let alone the amount of sleep I’ve lost.

With those decisions you made,

I’ve arrived to a conclusion,

It was nice knowing you.

You got long brown locks

Eyes not quite like a hawk's

And you gotta have those glasses

'Cause if you didn't you'd cause crashes

Though you already crashed into my heart

Made it hard to be apart

But you weren't insured

So now my heart's interred

Buried under layers of love

When it used to be free as a dove

You always know how to make me smile

Little did you know that all the while

My brain was running, flowing like the Nile

Thinking of ideas, putting them in a pile

Of how to convince you that I'm worth your while

But I knew none of it would ever work

You'd never be convinced of my perks

So I tried to give the idea a rest

Put my feelings to the test

I tried to avert my attention

But in the end there was too much tension

My heart pulled harder than my mind

I looked in your eyes but there was nothing to find

No clues, no treasure map

To feelings that would fill this gap

To think that this all started from one mishap

We were backstage, the show was a bore

When someone yelled, “Shut and Bar the Door!”

body locked,

shotgun cocked,

my mind is on overload as the clock tick tocks,

as my body rocks,

hardened, im laying in a corner,

cooped up im alone, afraid

and nothing seems to go my way,

and I'm stuck broken blocked...

tick tock tick tock

bleeding out my seconds,

bleeding out my memory and all i want is seconds,

he reckons i'm loosing the plot,

just fuck it write down all you got,

im in a hurricane of waivers

no names

no mistakes

no you

no me

no I or it

I want to fucking get over this shit

which bit?

until the truth starts coming out

as I spout

words of needless rhymes

in time to no verse

you've heard with mine

take my time

line after line

2 years is long when you stuck in time

Im broken

and soaking in

a comatose conumdrum

no one succumbs them

I overwhelm their slumber

as thunder eeks out of forever growing fear

tearing it all up and disgarding the cheer

as i leer so close to a vacant edge

I'm loosing myself

am I already dead

In my head the colors they swoon my thoughts

ambled in displacement

my care is gone

my flair is gone

I suffer on a page

this what my talent generates

a last line

of behind time

breaking a wall which aiant so fine

Im breaking mind

breaking will

I've tortured motivation

as I let it see failure

just so I could mail, whore

don't know what this fucking image is for

I sufficate in corruption

of mine taking

talking too fast

I've lost a line

and memory can't serve a damn fuckin thing

just a suffication of want

was to be

and remembering

of lost time

red rings of fortune are too lost to find

and in my mind

there's just mixed words

just pout it all out

no matter how absurd

can they see the pain in the words

as I tear them out of mind's warp

and straggler's are cauight

they deficate

loosing the managable control

too late

I'm sinking in rhyme

dousing it in flame

I'm sick of being called my old fucking name

begin to retain

engage on first wave

I just got to think before degenerates....

I was just sitting around

Thoughts in the air

When the scarf on the ground

Transformed into a bear

I couldn’t believe my eyes

As it growled, its mouth with froth

And when I began to rise

It melted back into a piece of cloth

I heard the phone sound its tone

I saw the screen was lit

I even saw the id said “unknown”

So I told my bro to answer it

But then it stopped ringing, I thought ‘another call missed’

Until he said I had a messed up head

And a look at the recent calls list

Didn’t support what I saw or said

We were in the car, mother and I

When I said “look out for the man in white!”

She looked at me with a sigh

Said “don’t joke like that, especially at night!”

Lying in my bed at night

Not sleeping (but I tried)

I saw flashes of light

Coming from outside

Every week, I have new cuts and scrapes

On my arms, from who knows what or where

Behind the curtains, I see their shapes

With sounds of footsteps in the air

I’ve been getting calls from blocked numbers

When I answer, no one speaks

Just breathing, and it’s quite a bother

Because they’ve been calling for weeks

At night, I argue with that other voice

And my head feels like it’s on fire

More voice come, and they’re not very nice

And one keeps calling me a liar

A few weeks back, there was this one day

Where these voices were unheard, these things unseen

Where I didn’t think or seem crazy

But then I woke up from that amazing dream

walking through a smokey fume.. in this sealed up dark room..
I saw your eyes bleeding blue.

going up, going down. spin spin around & around
falling to my knees, calling out to God, please
save me from this crucifixion
cut the ties to lifes addictions
spit up the lies you fed, on which I choked
climbing up these ropes
running away from the hoax
insanity, the only word she knows.

deep in the dungeon, I go plunging
searching for the meaning
intervening, I come between two scales..
a lions head with three flaming tails.

i'm not like this.. you're leading me to be crazy..
one day i'll run, forever away from you, maybe...
like the speed of light, in a flash, little hazy.
there's more for me then this demonic plague..
there's more to life then constant conviction.

wrists are shaking & those screams begin to take a toll..
driving round this winding road..
i'm done with your pitiful smold of an existence..
don't act like you know what i'm missing.
so here I plant my feet in the ground, not bending for you now
never again will I twist or turn
because bitch, you've got so much to learn.