anger

The Pain of Suicide

Folder: 
Volume One


 

 

~~)(~~

The Pain of Suicide”

 

 

Our hearts turning black,

there's no turning back

your hands stained red

from the blood you shed

The world is now dead

Life is but a dream, that cannot seem

draw your gun because you are dead

falling out of life

falling out of peoples memories

killing yourself for others to see

Hearing your pain, but then forgetting your sane

 

Kill yourself now,

I'll show you how

 

Forget about everyone who cares

remember all those stupid dares

and how everyone turned and stared

clear your head, Pull the trigger now

It doesn't matter, reflect on your life

 

Oh how you wish to have been a someone

But as you dream life gets harder

but you see how everyone hates you

so you want nothing more than to make them pay

oh how much you wish to say

 

"Hiding in the shadows, waiting to hear your reason why;

or how I wish to fly, to go beyond the bounds of human feelings"

 

But that doesn't matter now

Kill yourself, I'll show you how

 

Close your eyes,

all those painful memories die

Pull the hammer back, wait for the pain to take

as you begin to shake, now your life is in your hand

It's time for you to take a stand

a single tear rolling down your cheek, now on your knees.

 

 

Pray for salvation.

The gun in front of your view, if only the cure you knew.

One last look, one last touch, feeling so empty, feeling so alone

all is gone and no one home

Pick up the gun, point it to your head,

your thoughts racing through your mind

your life racing against the time

Any last words from your mouth to the open air?

 

"Life is not fair"

 

Pulling the trigger, the sound echoes through the still air

Falling towards the ground. laying in his blood..

slowly closing his eyes, as he turns his head

Now he's Dead.

 

Why God Why

"So much pain so little gain,

So much hate so little faith"

 

"Death is the only way out"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Okay figured I'd shed a little light on this poem, its been years since I wrote it yet can still remember that day.. I was going through a very rought time in my life, and I've never been strong on the idea of suicide but then who has not thought about it? That particular night I was going through a very bad depression and as it turned out I had butchered my arm in the atempt to drown out the pain I was feeling, I believe if it were not for this poem I had wrote I could have very well been hosbitalized..

 

(Updated; from Psycho- Confessions)

View matthewwayne's Full Portfolio

Genocide

Folder: 
Volume One


 

~~)(~~

 

Genocide”

 

 

Its all about the time

your political crime.

You make it your mission

for my discrimination.

My life is your debate

resting on the shoulders of fate

 

I'm the result of your genocide

the project, your society tries to hide

drowning in the crimson tide”

 

It was sad to hear about Columbine

but you were quick to blame it on the line

because you lack a spine

to admit you were wrong - you accuse it on a fucking song.

 

and you want me to become a part of this?

Where your blinded by your own shit.

 

I'm the result of your genocide

your Corrupted Homicide.

Where being dead and alive - collide

not even being alone will the pain subside”

 

Made out to be,

Losers, Freaks

Posers, Geeks

When we strike up conversations

you make up acquisitions

I was never apart of the occult

all I did was throw you an insult.

Society is quick to judge and condemn

just when its not them.

 

Its all about the genocide,

its time to fuck your pride

because in the end we all die

we all lie, we all bleed, we all cry”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I have decided to go through (over time) and update my old poems to reflect their appearance in my new book. None of them were really changed, just corrected spelling mistakes and the like.

 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

View matthewwayne's Full Portfolio

"Volcanic Rage"

by Jeph Johnson

 

the mountain of a man is ready to erupt-
why
must
hoops
be
jumped
through?
why must the hoops be invisible?
the mountain of a man is ready to erupt.
I am lost
with
no way to go
no way home,
but to break the law
the mountain of a man is ready to erupt.
and god forbid
the
shorts to court!
shorts to court!
shorts to court!
shorts to court!
the mountain of a man is ready to erupt.
-so disrespectful!
book him!
put his likeness
in the computer
& fingerprints
the mountain of a man is ready to erupt.
I must
break the law
to
obey the law
the mountain of a man is ready to erupt.
judge,
"give me a reason to give you respect."
the mountain of a man is ready to erupt.
I am least respectful of:
power-hungry
authority
figures
with
no regard
for
another's
life
liberty
or
pursuit of happiness
the mountain of a man is ready to erupt.
I am
pro-life,
pro-liberty
and
pro-pursuit of happiness
but
put it in that order!
the mountain of a man is ready to erupt.
pursue
your
happiness
on your own,
do not involve:
my life
and
my liberty
and
my pursuit of happiness
the mountain of a man is ready to erupt. ...please!
the mountain of a man is ready to erupt. I still respect
your pursuit of
happiness
BUT
NOT WHEN IT
INVOLVES
making others
jump through
invisible
hoops
themountainofamanisreadyto
eruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountain ofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemoun tainofamanisreadytoeruptthemounta
inofamanisreadytoerupt
themountainofama
nisreadytoerupt
themountainofa
manisreadyto
eruptthemo
untainof
amani
sread
ytoe
rup
tt
he
mou
ntain
ofama
nisread
ytoerupt
themount
ainofaman
isreadytoer
uptthemoun
tainofamanis
readytoeruptt
hemountainof
amanisreadyto
eruptthemounta
inofamanisready
toeruptthemounta
inofamanisreadyto
eruptthemountainof
amanisreadytoeruptt
hemountainofamanisr
eadytoeruptthemounta
inofamanisreadytoerupt
themountainofamanisrea
dytoeruptthemountainofam
anisreadytoeruptthemountai
nofamanisreadytoeruptthemo
untainofamanisreadytoeruptth
emountainofamanisreadytoerup
tthemountainofamanisreadytoeru
ptthemountainofamanisreadytoeru
ptthemountainofamanisreadytoerup
tthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptth
emountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemo
untainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountai
nofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofam
anisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisrea
dytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoerup
tthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemoun
tainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofama nisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoe ruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemoun tainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisr eadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthe mountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofaman isreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofama!
!
nisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoeruptthemountainofamanisreadytoerupt

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2002 

View daddyo's Full Portfolio

"Kip"

by Jeph Johnson

 

Rage spins,
turning out of control
and my heart is the intended path.
Though I've been yearning
for someone to hold,
all I feel is wrath
Genuine concerning,
I try to console her
but she tears my hope down again.
I begin learning
new ways to be bold;
guns, knives and bombs I obtain.
My sin is earning
my bankrupt soul
a place in your
Hall of Shame.
Stop grinning!
I'm burning,
and always alone
and you have only
yourselves to blame.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

1998

View daddyo's Full Portfolio

Nobody Loves Me

Ugonna Wachuku  

  

 

I live on a misty mountain top
in the heart of Uturu. On this
mountain, I walk with eagles.
My house is built of natural
stone. Streams water my
surroundings with refreshing,
live-giving scent from nature.  

 

I am in tune with nature.
I am a child of nature.
Nature knows me; and I know
nature within the depths of
my being. 

 

My hope in life does not
wane because daily, I breath
healing freshness from nature
and my mountain top environment.

 

I drink from springs on the
mountain. Each night, when I
bend down to drink, moonbeams
caress my longing back.

 

Nobody knows me; not even
my name; not even where
I come from. Could I have
been forgotten in the still
smallness of life? Could I
have lost that unchanging
love promised?

 

Each dusk, I stare down the
valley wondering if life has
anyone like me down there.
I wonder at my home and at
nature in all of its beauty.
I wonder at my beginning.

 

I rest with the hope of
finding a companion. But
nobody comes. Nobody calls.
Nothing leaves. Nothing comes.
Yet, I stay on this mountain top.

 

Suddenly, I wake up sweating like
a christmas goat: I have been
dreaming. Then, I realize that it's
real. My heartbeat panders to the
rhythm of a bird's voice. I listen
carefully. This reality comes into
me. I look out of my stone house
window:

 

The bird's green trees and lush
landscapes have been burnt by
fires of human strife and loveless
destruction across the valley below.
Tear drops fill my sunken eyes.

 

"Nobody loves me, nobody loves me;
including you" the bird sings on
my mountain spring while I watch
from my weary window on the
mountain top. The bird's tears
mingle with my natural spring
on the mountain.  

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A bird laments humanity's destruction of its environment ... 

View ugonna's Full Portfolio