revelation

Revelation

How dark will it be when it dawns on us

That there is no one left who's right?

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Curiosity

Once the world was the center of the universe.

At least it was considered to be, back then.

Then, a revelation in some person’s mind

transforms the world’s view of the cosmos.

The birth of science brought still more complex

understanding of the infinite and infinitesimal.

Yet there is always also a state of calm

between the chaotic periods of discovery.

There are pauses wherein curiosity is satiated,

and the masses accept their place in the big picture.

Except at the same time, nearly every single day,

Nature humbles the human mind once again.

One cannot help but think, that if history does repeat itself,

it is inevitable before the next calm comes rolling along.

Even more astounding, it is unimaginable what

the next idea to shatter that coming silence will be.

Our understanding will never be complete.

If so let us hope, Curiosity, is a force rivaling gravity itself.

 

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The Confessional

Folder: 
human beings

It's the first Thursday of the month, and I'm standing in line, waiting for the nun to walk us across the schoolyard over to the church to confession. I am in fouth grade.

 

Sister: "Where is your beanie?"

Me: "Sister, I forgot it."

(Truth is, sister, I can't remember any sins to tell the priest today).

 

Sister: "Well, go get one of the extras from the box in the coat room."

Me: "Yes, sister."

(And for sure it's going to be either huge or so small it will fall off my head).

 

We get to church and now we are lined up on either side against the walls of the building. The entire fourth grade, two classes, one class on one side and one class on the other side, waiting our turns to go into the 4x4 pitch black room, where we will tell the priest all of the sins we committed that month.

 

Of course we get scolded at least once by the nun for chit-chatting as we wait in line. The thought goes through our heads, "Now, is that a sin?"

 

It's my turn and I enter the small room and feel about for the wall so I can find the kneeler and wait for the priest to open his little 'window'. In the interim, I can hear his muffled voice talking to the child in the booth on the side opposite to where I am kneeling. I can not hear the words, only a muffled sound that causes me to feel a bit anxious, for what reason, I have no clue. The whole thing is very strange to me every time I used to go, and as the years pass by, I find it even more strange.

 

Finally, the window opens, and light from his small cubicle where he sits shines into the small area where I have been waiting. Thinking about that alone, now an adult, explains the power they have over people for many years.

 

Priest: "Yes, child."

(Oh, thank God---I was wondering what in the hell that kid must have done. It was taking you forever, father.)

 

Me: "Bless me, father, for I have sinned, it has been one month since my last confession. These are my sins:...."

(Oh sh*t, this is the part I hate. What in the hell am I supposed to say? I don't mean to sound full of myself, but Jesus Christ!! I haven't done anything wrong this month!)

 

Priest: "Yes, child, you can speak---tell me your sins."

 

Me: "Um, I took the Lord's name in vain, father---well, not exactly but I thought the Lord's name in vain."

(Yea, just a minute ago--it's your fault too, for making me so damn nervous).

 

Priest: "Yes, child, that is a sin. What else?"

(Oh, man.... I better think of something fast.)

 

Me: "I told a lie, father,"

(Just now... f*ck!)

 

Priest: Yes, lying is not what Jesus wants for you, child. Who did you lie to? Your mother? Your father?

(Whew!! Thanks for saving me on that one, father!)

 

Me: "My father, but I also cursed someone---well, it was in my mind, father---I didn't really say it."

(*Sinister grin* Ok...I got this one...cool.)

 

Priest: "What was the curse word, child?"

(OMG, how embarrassing. Now I have to say the f bomb to a priest.)

 

Me: "Well, father, it was the word .... um...F*CK."

(Oh SH*T!!! I can't believe this! He is making a sinner out of me, and I was pure and holy when I walked in this room today!! God dam* this SOB!)

 

Priest: "Child! Where did you learn this word? Do you know what this word means?"

(Oh no. Now we have to have an interrogation because i'm trying to be honest with this sucker...no way. I 'm not goin' here with him).

 

Me: "I forget where I learned it, father,  I forget what it means. I heard it from an eighth grader waiting for the bus."

(Blame everything on the eighth graders when you're a fourth grader---it works! Now I'm really going to hell, cause that was a big fat lie, but holy sh*t--I can't talk to him about this stuff. The whole building could crumble!! Not only that, he's making this worse and worse, and I'm afraid of the dark to begin with.)

 

Priest: "Is that all child?"

(Is that ALL? You made a freakin' mountain out of molehill, dude!!)

 

Me: "Yes father. Well, give or take a couple more curse words."

 

Priest : "Ok child." (*mumbles some mumbo jumbo for about a 2 minutes while I sit humbly awaiting his absolution*) "For your pennance, you must say 3 Hail Marys and 4 Our Fathers---and God Bless you".

(At least he could have some suckers or a free movie ticket or something---that's all I get?)

 

I leave the confessional and go kneel up at the altar of the church to say my pennance, and while I do all the kids get scolded a few more times for chit-chatting, as we are comparing pennances....of which most often, everyone's is the same thing. 

 

I don't know how I ever made it to where I am today in my spirituality, but apparently, overall, it must have done something good for me. Just very funny to think back on.

 

 

 

12:22 AM 6/30/2013 ©



.......

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Catholic Confession in the 60s and 70s

A Window To My Soul

Folder: 
Light and Dark

A massive wave of a deep black sea,
Is what my guilt amounts to me.
The past, the past I do regret
The pain of it doth make me fret.
The girl, the smile, the face,
The sweetest love, her warm embrace;
These things I remember in the night,
Oh! that I could make them right.
The pain, the sorrow,
The still tomorrow,
Is there no rest for my soul?
Is there naught to make me whole?
The guilt, a sea,
A tsunami,
Death I feel each day I live.
But Death’s fear instinctive;
I cannot die by my hand.
There is no rest in this land!
Please, save me from my sin!
Please redeem where I’ve been!
You payed my debt, I see it now,
And although I know not how,
I know that I’m free from my master past
And I know that I’ll not be the last.
So, before your kingdom comes in Glory
I’ll tell others of my story
I’ll plead with them, to end their sin
And tell them of the place I’ve been
That they can see your love for me
And they can have that love from Thee.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

The title was chosen only because I didn't have one. It sounds more like a title for a little something on eyes.... maybe I'll recycle it later....

An Epiphany

Folder: 
Light and Dark

Black, the darkest thing known.
It greedily absorbs everything it can and belches all that is left, which is nothing – and evil void.
Black is dead to goodness, hates light, and despises all things that it does not consume.
It hates light for its goodness and supremacy.
It is the men, consumed by the darkness, who will tremble in fear at the last and coming light of this cursed earth.
It is the best known setting for all crime, to show it’s part in evil and is loved by all who despise the light.
Black is surely the darkest thing known.

White is the most righteous of all things.
All that it gains it gives to those who need it.
Its glory is so radiant in color that the colors blend into one untied blaze of light.
It is filled with righteousness so that all who see it cannot deny it.
In all darkness there is a ray of light, which grows and grows until it destroys the darkness, which is death to all things great and small.
Surely, white is the most pure and righteous of all things, and may it always be.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I actually wrote this when I was 12-14, I didn't date it. I seemed to know a lot back then... and I'm still building on it now. :D

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