Bastard Vanity

An ugly mirror works miracles with

blemishes on the mind's underside, which

escapes the eye of the subject and its

tendency to assume itself "normal".

Its resplendence surrenders to hours,

days, years spent neglected; glass made sour

by one idle reprieve turned eternal.

Learning to reflect more infernal truths,

it becomes unwanted and forgotten -

left just to glorify the clouding dust

that kicks up whenever a door is shut.

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essences 1

Nature / Folder 1




honesty can, and

has been known

to strangle

arteries of 

bleeding love 

that feed a 

beating heart,

but flowers 

that never reach 

their intended 


only leave their 



to live half 

of  a life 

is like 

not even 

living  at all, 

but  the seeds 

of dying  flowers 



5:48 PM 8/1/2013 ©




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until today: bricks & ripples

She did the best she could
Will all the guilt and shame
Handed down from generations.

She made the best of love
Though there wasn't any good examples
to draw from.

She loathed pain
Yet could never separate herself from it;

Today is the catalyst
For all of her tomorrows.
She is brave, wise
And able to overcome her fears.

She still feels the doubts, uncertainties
Common in modern life,
But the wisdom of the ages
Is there to comfort her.

Her ego and higher self wrestle
About what is to come next,
But she makes no decisions
Defaults to the divine instead.
It gives her peace and the outcome
That is best to be anyway.

Floating downstream I see a
Reflection and realize
She is me.

Imitation is Flattery



she told a white lie


and it turned black as coal


the poor thing didn't realize


that she sold her own soul


2013 ©




There are no secrets that are safe,

In fact, 'safe', is much a thing of the past

When it comes to a 'secret',

Best to just keep them for the good things,

The ones that last!


2:58 PM 6/25/2013 ©





Author's Notes/Comments: 

About how people can be stupid when it comes to honesty. (not truth, which is something all together different)



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the truth of honesty

if you have a brain,

and the brain works,

and you violate people's privacy,

for the sole reason of picking them apart,

and telling lies,

and make accusations,

and assumptions,

and use those fabrications,

that are all things you have created,

to cut down others,

in an attempt to be some 'hero',

or magnify some pre-judged 'fault',

or frailty,

in another, or in others,

you deserve what karma gives you in return,

and trying to weasel your way out of your own delusion

will be near impossible,

because you never should have violated

an innocent person in that way.


so here is to all of the people,

who think it is their right,

to violate another's privacy,

because in this day and age, 

it is being done without conscience,

without respect,

and in the name of 'for profit' institutions,

by law enforcement personel,

by lawyers,

by ex-wives,




the list goes on and on.


when the world has not one person left,

who has the capability to speak a word of honesty,

because they know they have no privacy,

and tell only lies to keep others from being misunderstood

because they have the decency to know what respect is,

I hope it becomes your hell,

for however long it takes you to wake the hell up,

as you have caused the suffering of many.


i have love for you, 

my sincerity that you survive

the hell you have created

is sincere,

because you are ignorant to insight,

and that is a crime in itself,

and falls on the laps of people who see it unimportant,

but if you indeed have a desire to learn the truth,

it will be found in yourself alone, using the gift of insight.



6:36 PM 6/21/2013 ©

Author's Notes/Comments: 

the truth of honesty in 2013

You get back insincerity from people if that is all you have to give them...and you will never know the truth.

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Crinkly Black Man

The crinkly black man loped along,
while whistling weezy sixties songs,
he leaned the right and looked the left
and raised his boney, hairy head,

his words were honest, clear and clean,
and rolled live leaves upon a stream,
"A buck and ten I beg my boy,
I'm patchin for a bottl-a-beer",

his old eyes smiled a cheeky love,
a soft love for the world's soft souls,
and in a blink I think I fell,
forever down those endless holes,

and when I landed I remembered
all his life from birth to now,
and not an unjust word was uttered,
not an unjust thought was found,

I would have cried for all his peace,
I nearly died a happy man,
the earth could offer no increase
to what I found within that man,

but all that world was shifted quickly,
a blink and on the street I stood,
a buck and ten was all he asked,
a buck and ten was all I could,

he bowed his head and gave his grace
away he whistled sixties songs,
and no one's love would ev' replace
the crinkly black man who loped along.

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Look who's shakin' now

I'm afraid you'll love me,
then one day you won't anymore
and you'll be afraid to tell me.

I'm afraid you won't understand
the empathic link we'll have
and I'll know something is wrong.

I'm afraid you'll lie
because you said you love me
and the pain will kill me.

I'm afraid that you will grow
to hate and fear me
and my dreams will die.

Don't be afraid to love me
or one day, not anymore.
Don't be afraid to tell me.

Don't be afraid to understand
the empathic link we will have
and that nothing is wrong.

Don't be afraid to tell me the truth.
Don't say you love me if you don't.
The truth will hurt but will save me.

Don't be afraid to
love and trust me
so my dreams can live.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

that was close...

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Honesty Hour

It's honesty hour, as I lay down my deepest thoughts on this paper, making the phrases rhyme.
But before I go too far, I'd like to take this moment to apologize..
Because even though you loving me was not a crime,
Foolish of me, I'm still guilty of making a good girl cry.

Though my actions spoke different, I never meant to hurt you,
And if there was a way for me to undo some things, I would.
This apology is long overdue, I know. You hate me now, that's cool. I messed up, that's true. I broke your heart, and this I can't fix with glue.
You deserve better than me, but that's old news, so I guess this is where I say goodbye for good.

As I sit here now, repenting my actions, asking for forgiveness,
I can't help but wonder how my nights you spent alone crying in your bedroom.
Damn, I put you through so much shit but girl you know you deserve the best, nothing less..
And I can already picture you in the future standing at the altar one day, making a lucky man a very happy groom.

I'm so sorry.

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