honesty

Honest

Today was a good day I got my pay from work , got to hang out with my best friend
I was at elm park and I noticed a guy and girl sitting at the bench and get up and walk away
I didn't pay much attention , Then me and Bj went for a little ride around town to water font ,
Cause there was a storm brewing the clouds looked like they were from the deps of hell ,
We biked a bit and we were riding in elm park and I glanced over to were the girl and guy were
sitting and something caught my eye I thought IT was a smoke pack But then I sa something shiny I stop the
Bike real fast and IT was a 600$ Iphone 4 I was in shock the first thing to come to mind was to try to find
The guy who lost it , And me and my friend biked away really fast in the derection the guy went away in
But No luck So we went back to elm park to see if he went there , And All of a sudden The "lost phone"
Started to ring So I picked it up It seid "dad" I seid " hello do you know who owns this phone ?"
He said "yeah" then I said "I found it in elm park on the bench " he said He will send the guy who lost it to me
I hung up A few minutes later he called back and said " Okay there will be a guy In white camo pants to get it "
O said okay I'm in the middle of the park , A few minutes later A black car pulls up and The guy who lost it
Got out and started to walk so I walked towards him And We met it had just started raining a few minutes earlier
I was soaked , I handed him the phone He had a Big but odd smile on his face like he just realized there are still
A few honest people around here I handed him the phone he said " Thanks I really appreciate it " And then he handed me 10$
I said thanks and I walked away he got in his car then left I Biked home in the rain and dryed off and Jumped on the computer ..

I sit here and wonder How it felt to him looseing a 600$ phone , and How happy he was to get it back ,
Still to this day I love to help people out .

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I Know the Real Him

You tell me i don't know him
But i know that is a lie.
I know him better than any other guy.
He is sweet,
Just like he'll always be
You are wrong!
But all your common sense is gone.
He would never lie or hurt you.
I know this is the truth.
Maybe you should ask
Before you start to turn your back.
He wasn't to blame
Your reasoning is lame
I know him very well
Can't you tell?
We've been through a lot
Many lessons from him i have been taught
I've spent hours among hours talking to him
I'm gonna go out on a limb
You should know he'd never lie
He isn't like those other guys
Until you realize this leave me be
"Cause it seems the one who knows him best is me.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Drama...I Absolutely Hate It.

Breath Breathing

I don't know what I'm doing.

I'm trying to stay honest,
or something unassuming.

When I spoke you only spoke
again
and when I froze
you'd only cock
your head.

I'm only able to be again
when I'm filled with ambient
and catatonic, cresting waves
that serve to carry
and to feed.

I'd bathe in static
and be sure
that my malign
could still be cured
with any hapless remedy
dealt to me by the pharmacy
upon the word of my physician
who's name is just escaping me.
He's kind enough, but
makes me late
with all his paper magistrate.

But to him I
owe debt of gratis,
for without these I'm sure to panic
and lose my wallet and my keys,
while every breath inside me breathes.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Weird.

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If It Rains I Want to Be the Last to Know

and I want you to be the one that tells me.
I want your word on your sincerity,
and I want your eyes looking into mine.
I'd like it if you took my hands
and held them somewhere near our chests -
and say it slow and sure and firm,
baring nothing after left for question.
Tell me all the weight of drops
that pour upon the plastic awnings.
Paint the landscape in my head
with only words you've chosen.
Make such sounds that stir the dead
with the depths to which they travel,
and grant no option past another
that forces me all at your side.
And if there's stars or charcoal skies
I want just you to fetch me too.
Gladly take your hand in mine
and help me to enjoy myself.
Aid me and my fragile vice;
force me to antagonize
the every bit of former me
and his lack of sweet momentum.

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Painted Ladies

These many, steady galleries,
marred by passing favor, fancy;
stupid whims and painted skin.
The subjects there so caught in ruin
of self and all surroundings,
consuming like a whining vortex.
Where has all awareness gone?
Abandoned for a sense of doting,
a tripping over one's own feet -
to fall to knees and beg for her
and they and their and nothing ever.
Their burning flesh with senseless symbols,
foreign language words devoid
of languid truth, lucid dreams,
and the making of profundity.
And they weigh themselves with such decor
that screams abrupt to passers-by,
begging for a wandered eye
to linger on their highs and lows,
their curvy, sultry aperture,
their mimic of the many constant.
What's the point of all pursuit?
Where are all their invites sent?
Against the rigid stones of cores?
To the tidal pull of fronts?
A steady sip and an easy breath,
intoxicants all scant and tethered
to hands of sweat and hesitant
men who cannot be another.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

There aren't many women left that don't have stupid, gaudy tattoos.

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Trust

Folder: 
2001

I trust you with my life

I trust you with my secrets

 

My trust you on everything

That is mine physically and otherwise

 

Trust is everything to a woman

Trust is everything to me

 

Trust is everything and nothing at all

Is it isn’t given as well as received

 

~Chrystal

Written on

July 14, 2001 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was written about a boyfriend, telling him, trust me.

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IF I were honest

Folder: 
All About Me

If I were honest

I'd have to admit...

that I never stoped thinking of you

that you're not the only one I think of

 all of my hardships

all of my silent sacrafices

why my passions are what they are

why I'm so closed off to the world

that I care about you, more than you'll ever know

 that I feel the same one for everyone

 the true reason behind my confidance

the true reason for my fears

I'd have to open myself up completely...

so I'm not honest.


I'll never tell you that I remember the moment we first met

That I remember when our eyes first met, what I was wearing when you first spoke ont he phoen with me, where i was standing and how I was so sad. I'll never explain to you how you came in one of the most hardest moments in all of my life, and you helped so much simply by being there. I'll never explain how close I came to giving up on everything, and how your little glimmer turned that all around.


I'll never tell you of everything I've been through

As clearly as I remember your eyes, I remember when mines were almost shut. I'd have to tell you of the times when I wouldn't know if the walk home would be my last, how those shots I heard at night, were of my own doing. How I watched and held as love ones passed away in my arms, in my sight, across my street. I'd have to tell you how I watched as my Uncle ran away, as the street was filled with red and blue lights. I'd have to tell you how he ran because of me. I'd have to tell you how much my brothers protected me, and how I wasn't always so innocent. I'd have to admit how sometimes I caused the problems I despise so much. I'd have to tell you the reason why I never want to drive again...


I'll never tell you of all the things I do for you

You'll never know how I choose you over my friends on one fateful night when none of them would return. You'll never know of the pain I had to endure in order to be able to hold you. You'll never know the real reasons why 911 is so important to me. You'll never know how I abandoned everyone just to see you smile. You'll never know, I'll never tell you, and it's better that way... You'll never know the real reason, why I don't go out as much as i used to.


I'll never tell you anything that can hurt you

You'll never know just how precious and important you are to me. You'll never see why communication is so important to me. You'll never know how I fought, cried and suffered as i saw communication collaspse. You'll never see all the relationships... and lives, i've saw ruined over something that could have been solved with a sorry, or a little understanding. You'll never see these things, and I'll never show you.


If I were Honest, I'd tell you everything, and you'd understand, but you'd know too much, and it would hurt you... So... I'm not.

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