gone astray

Lost

I opened my eyes another day seeing only

the same endless ocean. This beautiful,

disheartening endless ocean.

 

A ship with the possibilities to be seen for

many miles. Yet, the oceans waves taunt me

with its excessive, dramatic waves.

 

Concealing me from the eyes of others.

 

This ocean; my best friend, my enemy. The

reason I have discovered the woes of

isolation.

 

Daily I wake up with a heart's desire to see

land, to move onward in my life's journey.

 

The oceans jealousy believes its memories

will be lost, but never. I vow! Caring

nothing for my hearts desire, yet it

mocks me with possibilities. Possibilities

that I might one day feel and experience what is now only memories.

 

my months spent crying, pleading, full of

hateful anger changed nothing. As I awoke

my eyes each morning was locked on the

same blue ocean floor. Deep waves, cool

breezes, moving deep sea passer-bys of the unknown.


I potentially die from the thought of

marriage to this mountain of beautiful

misery.

 

Years of plotting my escape proved to b

e act of a dreamer, not a doer.

 

My heart has grown numb and in my numbness, its torture lacks the effect it once had. I scream to all, my voice stripped and dry, barely heard by even the wind.

 

the silence of my unheard words replaced with the crashes of ocean waves; I will never submit.

Even while my knees have bent and come closer and closer to the panels of stained wood

 

I seemingly lose the courage to keep with my

vow to never submit, yet my vow to leave

this prison of cumbersome water has

engulfed me in disillusion.

 

In my lucid thoughts, I mumble of its

devilish games. The games that I will never willingly accept.

 

I listen to its illustrious melody. I am its mistress, a

the battle that seems impossible.

I am lost...

I am weak...

I will FIGHT till death approaches me.