DADDY

My daddy was a Marine

My dad was a marine

When I was younger

I used to wonder

Why couldn't that be me

Then I'd call myself a pussy

People around me called me obscene 

Fifteen surgeries plus

Thirteen Gran Mals

Not to mention my rounds with alcohol 

I may have been rattled 

Within my own battles 

But as you can obviously 

See, nothing has broken me

I now have a family fully complete

With a loving wife plus crazy kids

Despite some struggling we end up on our feet

Gravelin happened to be unraveling 

When my baby was coming up

She made me so sick

I wanted to throw up

She flipped script quick

Now Kim is a stranger

Hopefully drastic measures changes her

Coffee brandy and pills

For cheap tricks and thrills

Bouncing between jobs

Struggling to cover the bills

I've looked back at almost forty

Seeing all I've overcome 

I'm my own soldier 

I carry my family on my shoulders 

Thank you John unfortunately you're gone

I'm a fighter 

My daddy was a marine 

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My Old Playground

 

 
As I walk through my old playground, my safe haven I see how much everything has changed, yet there is so much familiarity it's almost as if not all has changed that much. 
I find myself longing for the times that I spent there with those I loved and loved me.
When I close my eyes, I see the little girl who would run and chase lightening bugs with her cousins.
The same girl who would grow up and walk the railroad tracks and learned how to get good at catching the ball with her dad.
Before I know it I see the young girl turning into a woman and hear her laughing with those she held close to her heart. 
Not only do I hear the laughter of love, I hear my grandmother talking and my daddy telling another one of his famous tales and seeing a mischievous grin on his face when he realized he had all convinced on whatever it might be.
I smile myself and let the memories wash over me as it fills my heart with joy and love.
I know when I open them I will see and hear my family that holds my heart. 
I am eager to see their smiling faces and feel their warm embrace for its been to long. 
I open my eyes and I feel my heartbreak into million little
pieces.
The house is run down, the grass hasn't been cut, no more rocking chairs, no sweet voices calling my name, no more games or smiles, no more joyous laughs and jokes.
For everything and everyone I loved is gone.
All I have left is a sad heart full of memories. 
My playground is gone. 
 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

I went back home to Kentucky a few years ago and as always had to pass the place I had spent most of my childhood. The previous trip back home, my aunt had lived there, however when I returned she had moved and the place looked like no one had lived there in ages. As I was led around the place, I could see and hear sounds of my youth. It was a grim reminder that you can never go back home. 

Five

           Five

Riding bikes, jumping high I was only five

Playing with dolls and rolling on the dirt  I was only five

Always smiling and full of life I was five

Daddy started yelling , Mommy started crying I was five

Daddy was no longer at the dinner table I was five

Mommy and I moved to GIGI's house I was five

I waited for daddy at the door I was five

Daddy doesn’t visit me anymore I was five

Daddy has a new family I was five

Daddy doesn’t love me anymore I was five

I didn’t want to see daddy anymore I was five

I graduated with honors Daddy wasn't there

I got married and had kids Daddy wasn’t there

Daddy got really sick I wasn’t there

Daddy on his death bed begged I didn't cry

Daddy said he loved, me I didn’t believe him

"I'm sorry I left you when you were five I know you're hurting"

I used to cry and begged but Daddy it’s too late I am no longer five

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Where Is My Daddy?

 

Where Is My Daddy? 

 

 

 Where is my Daddy?

 

I said, "I do not know"?

 

This hurts her

 

Cutting deep into her soul

 

Why has my Daddy not called?

 

Does he not love me like he said he did…..after all?

 

 

 

I see her little face

 

The sadness in her eyes

 

She tries hard to disguise

 

The loneliness………That you have left behind

 

As she waits for my reply

 

I try to make her smile

 

To make her eyes bright and shinny

 

A kiss upon her cheek

 

The pain inside runs too deep

 

 

 

The tears she knew

 

Have been few

 

Her feelings………. she hides very well……way out of view

 

This must be my fault? She quietly said.

 

Echoing with a haunted dread……..

 

Is my Daddy….. perhaps dead?

 

I reassure her……. by a pat on her little head

 

 

Why then have I not seen his face?

 

Why has his presence not been at “our” place?

 

Does he not love me………. seek me to embrace?

 

Does he not want my kisses all over his face?

 

Has my daddy ….fell on his head?

 

Lying cold…… alone on a road…..possibly dead?

 

 

 

For I know my Daddy……

 

Something must be terribly wrong

 

For he would never……tally this long

 

He would already be here…singing me a song

 

This is a burden much too big…….. for a little girl to carry alone

 

She just misses her Daddy………and wants him to come back home

 

 

 

This she would never admit…..

 

To say those words… she’s afraid she would forget

 

So she hides her feelings deep inside

 

To say them out loud……would only make her cry

 

 

Written for ~ J

MMH

12/27/13

 

 

 

 

 

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Daddy

Folder: 
Light and Dark

Be all I see, Lord

For this I pray

Guide me and love me

Every day

Show me your goodness

Through hardness and strife

And I’ll love you, Daddy

For all of my life

 

Be Thou my vision

And give me Your eyes

So I can see other’s

Pain through their lies

Give me Your heart, Lord

To love as You do

For I once was like them;

And You made me new

 

Help them to see, Lord

The love that we share

Your son, my Daddy

‘Cause of Calvary there

Help them to know You

As loving and kind

Creator of all things

Glory divine

 

Give them the vision

As they look at this world

That they all are special

Every boy and girl

That they’re lost, but You made

A way to come back

And they’re all welcome

To the love that they lack

 

Your arms are wide open

For you’ve paid our price

Blood to save us

Love’s sacrifice

Can’t they see You?

On Calvary’s tree

Giving forgiveness

Dying for me

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Take care be good

I can't wait to see your newborn baby face
To have you as my child is something I can't replace
Can't wait to hold your fragile little body in my arms
I'll always be there cause your cry is my fire alarm
You don't ever have to worry cause daddy's got your back
Please don't cry, just take a nap and baby just relax
You don't need to rush, just take things at your own pace
I can't wait to do things with you like tie your shoe lace
I promise to be a good father and raise you right
You will be my first son I know that you'll be so bright
To you my little buddy I want to be Mr. Incredible
Can't wait for your birthday it will be a festival
Longing to see your face with daddy's smile
I know I'm ahead of myself and that it'll be a while
Cause mommy doesn't have you, That is still in store
I'm excited for the future and I can't wait til you're born

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I'm not saying I want a kid its just that I'm imagining what it'll be like having a kid.

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Silver 1911

Folder: 
Just For Fun

She sure was a beauty, said she was mine
But her daddy didn’t think so, that wasn’t fine
In the dirt driveway, he drew a line
And pulled out his Silver 1911

He was old school, with a fighter inside
Said that with me she couldn’t take a ride
Said she’d leave over his dead hide
And pulled out his Silver 1911

They’d been hurt before, so I didn’t mind
Said I didn’t plan anything of the kind
If he’d see my true blue, then he would find
A heart like his Silver 1911

The best of the best
The leader of the West
That fought for what was right
The bringer of the law
By a real quick draw
That won every fight
God’s Holy wrath
And if you do the math
There’s a lot more right than wrong
Written in it’s past
There’s nothing quite as fast
As a Silver 1911

Well, that seemed to hit a cord
His stepping away was a sign of the Lord
And I took him with us in my old Ford
With his Silver 1911

Now I know just how he felt
A daughter of my own that’ll make a heart melt
So to inspire the boy’s Holy fear, on the side of my belt
Is my Silver 1911

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Yes I know the 1911 was not used to win the West. When I wrote this I meant the Western Hemisphere, from every battle and war from WWII and on. Otherwise, enjoy! :D

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I’m Not A Daddy’s Girl

June 20, 2010
By Taylor Springs

you refused to hold me
or even take my hand
wipe away a tear
why couldn't you do that?
Momma says you left
when I was two or three
I don't remember you
do you, remember me?
I'm really growing now
and doing pretty good
I still don't understand you
and I don't, wish I could
Some kids, say they love him
and they call him Dad
how am I supposed to love,
what I never had?
other kids
have memories
with their dear, old dad
how am I supposed to know,
without even a photograph?
Special day
to let you know
what you mean to me
you don't mean a lot
needless to say
you gave up
and left behind
what could have been
your life
I wish you had chosen
another life
another route
another way
think about
who you could be today
you could have a family
full of laughter and love
but most importantly
you could have me
and I, could have a daddy
but you didn't
and I don't
wish I could say hello
Hi, Dad
but it's kind of hard
when you don't
pick up the phone
do you know it's me?
Is that why, you let it ring?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this poem on Fathers Day 2010, at age 13. I read this poem as well as a speech in front of 1,200 on March 16, 2011. Enjoy!

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Daddy

Daddy, why do you have to yell so much?
Hurting feeling and breaking hearts.

Daddy, why do you have to scream at mommy?
Nobody likes yelling, especially her.

Daddy, why do you want to take everything away?
Burning down a house just to get your way.

Daddy, why do you say this isn't my fault?
When i know i did something wrong.

Daddy, why yell all the time?
Happiness is a better feeling

Why hurt people daddy?
Sometimes i feel like running away...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

a vent i did a long time ago because my father always yells.

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