childhood

Timless View


Along each road linger past’s remnants,
reminders of things that used to be
Some forsaken upon trodden journeys,
others embraced as a cherished memory

Relived today and saved for tomorrow,
secret places reside beyond searching eyes
Glancing into portal's murals in time,
entrancing events exist without goodbyes

On draping backdrops of picturesque scenes,
faces emerge unchanged by passing years
Children grown old are once again young,
an ageless world magically appears

Soft laughter erupts somewhere in the distance;
a slow count ends with the hidden being sought
Those not found are willingly beckoned home;
all become captured within the realm of thought

In minds opened doors images wait to be viewed,
entrance is granted to those willing to knock
Crossing the threshold an adventure begins,
All untouched by sweeping hands of a clock

© C.E. Vance

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Just a thought.

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visible cracks of lines (childhood)

our little shadow
our small footprint
still there, still visible
waiting with inch tap
in the long save memory
my idiotism ,now that's what i think about it
but back then, that's all i got
a curve of a big line
i never thought that i can made
but now when i just made it
i want everything back
back to that idiotism
back to the world of kids

I'm standing from where i started
but standing parallel to it
this is a cause that everything is parallel
to what it used to be
but in this eyes still have something same
those dreams which i used to see since i was a child
but now a little in different manner
but i'm like a sea
some impurities come in my heart
but still have some purity
bright like the sun
but not much as blindness

branches come and go
and i keep growing
this is a matter of time
that will never stop
how much you want
but all your cross path
always visible, always be in your life
like a visible cracks of lines of childhood
always there in your life

Author's Notes/Comments: 

a little about my childhood

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Child in Keep

 

Drifting to sleep - with caress of a lullaby,
Come sights to see - thoughts whisk you far away
Tidings in tinsel - threshold promises all and more
A brush past chimes - soft jingle from hanging galore
Nowhere  too far - found treasures placed in a jar


Through eyes of children - a wish upon a star
Filled with dreams - all melodies and happy songs
Wonders believed - taking flight on golden wings
Sail the winds - glide past majestic clouds
Into a realm where castles are formed from sand


Each joyous day - astride ponies on a carousel
Merry go round - play hide and seek behind a tree
Skip along journey’s path -- laid length in cobbled stones
Kneel before placid streams - mirrored sight of your smiles
Reflections of light that hold  you safely through the night


Rise of morning - emerging star for following day
Across the fields - sun shining ever so brightly
Hope and laughter - greeting for travelers along the way
Behold their shimmer - hearts are held within your hands
Always embrace this child of wonderment to your keep

 


C.E.Vance ©

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A moment in time.

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Winter Days in a Childhood

Folder: 
Childhood

I looked out the window and quietly sighed, so no one could hear and ask me.
Then I sipped my hot chocolate, and found myself busy with daydreaming.
I watched as a cardinal chirp cheerfully by and perch on a nearby branch.
I looked out the window and quietly stared at the snow-laden ground.
And laughed quietly at the joke made in my head, I cracked a grin,
and took another sip from my cup of coffee, straight black; oddly
it did not at all taste like coffee, no it was more like... oh wait,
wasn't that silly of me, to forget that it was hot chocolate.
As it was a cold morning, some day, on a winter break,
I did nothing all day and set out to build snow forts
hanging out with my brother and my sister, and,
when no one was looking, throw snowballs.
It would all be finished with the glass of
hot chocolate I was now drinking -
and I thought it was nice.

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The Warm Summer Breeze

Folder: 
Childhood

It was the young, warm summer grass
the heated summer breeze;
I walked upon the grassy hill,
a horse grazed near the trees.

 

***

 

The warm wind was pleasant
and my heart was at peace,
as some birds sang in the evergreen trees
and bright rays of sun hit my back.

 

***

 

So I lay there on that quiet hill
on the warm, dry summer grass,
and thought what a blessing it was -
to simply be.

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Bastion's Lullaby

Oh Bastion, oh mine,
rueful and pink;
cleansed by the way folk
above Den Retreat.
They coddled your larder
and sank you in sod;
made you all rotten
by way of facade.
You smelled of the passing,
you looked badly burned
but I had no reason
to divulge what I'd learned.
You weren't mine for keeping,
you weren't mine at all;
you came from another
who's long seen the road.
Your matted gold hair locks
all caking with clod,
and each cheek so skinny,
so thinning and not.
I fear the dark too,
just as you'd cry.
I couldn't protect us,
I couldn't provide.
Bastion my only,
Bless me, forget
that I once existed
and let loose your hand.
Bastion my darling,
I'm finding my road.
Sleep for a while.
Sleep and you'll dream.

Love

They say fairy tales aren't real.
But we don't need Peter when we've got a Neverland of our own.
Just you and me and the Patriots throw that someone tossed us
an insignificant number of minutes ago.
We sit shoulder to shoulder, arms pressed tight against each other
and feet awkwardly brushing on the chair we keep them propped up on.
But I don't mind awkward touches, because at least their touches at all.
You've stolen my phone, again,
and I play with your slender fingers as you use your bad hand
to try and decode my password, drawn in by the secrets I could have.
You use your bad hand, because your good hand and my good hand are playing.
We don't think much of it when my curled up figure gently leans onto you,
head finding its way against your shoulder.
Our hands linger together just a moment longer than an innocent accident would have allowed
and I pretend it doesn't give me butterflies to be nestled in so close to you.
Your deep voice whispers into the top of my head and I close my eyes,
longing to be here forever.
Because in these moments,
these insignificant number of minutes,
it doesn't matter that we're not in love, it doesn't matter that we could be.
In these moments we are in love,
even if only for these moments.
Even if when the bell tolls ten o'clock and your mother has come down,
offering me a ride home,
we're time warped back
from Neverland
to reality.
Just two friends,
wishing they were in love.

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The Secrets Out

Folder: 
Assorted Stuff

It was the summer, I was seven going on eight
The first time I remember ever feeling hate

He made me feel so gross, so used
I was being sexually abused

He put his hands places they didn’t belong
I was so young, yet I knew something was wrong

I remember feeling so ashamed
It was myself that I mostly blamed

He manipulated me, played tricks with my mind
I wanted to tell, but courage was hard to find

As his hands crept over my fragile little frame
I yelled in my mind for help, but none ever came

I wanted him to stop I wanted to leave
If I told anyone would they even believe?

A lonely little girl
All alone in the world

Innocence stripped, replaced with fear
A disgusting secret that I soon would share

I felt so embarrassed, couldn’t even look in my own mothers eyes
I remember her tender embrace as she held me while I cried

Now an adult grown in so many ways
But thinking back still plagued by the days

When I was just a little kid
I hope you rot for what you fucking did

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ADMISSION

      ADMISSION

   I wonder when I got broken, dismantled to pieces, running empty and naked to the road call life!
No pity, no sympathy just wondering what has change since?
Mother pregnant, father beating the pulp of life from her, broken she is too…
Before I push my first scream, before I learned to speak or walk, I was crippling by the curse of dysfunctional upbringing, the love of my mother was never enough to fills the gaps, the emptiness, the glory hole where I suck some pleasure, ephemeral indeed!

Nice word to surmount my life, hollow and silence…
I am struggling so hard, I feel my guts hurting like hell, acid in my guts!
Vomiting on the pavement of my so call existence wishing to see the end!
But I must carry on for the loves one, how hard it is…when one does not know how what love feels…

It would have been so easy to follow the path of the broken soul, the same dark alleyway, the same scenery, the same sky, the same moon…
And all drowned my sorrows, to oblivion till the end…
I wish I could find the same despair again, the same ending, the same smell of hospital, the same silence, the same end, let face it!
Maybe I could hold then the gun in my hand and shoot my brain to pieces, to find the ultimate peace.

But there are no pills or razor blades sharp enough to end it all, so I float on this masquerade call living, call happiness...
Can’t you see my tears; can’t you hear the scream in my deepest nightmares?
I know you don’t and I forgive you, but please let me go in peace once and for all…

The water is calling me and the writing will follow, so is life…

Author's Notes/Comments: 

confession to satan

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