One way of the world


One day they are your bosom friends

And then they contort into an arch foe

MAybe this is the world's oldest trend

I happen to think it is just a new low




Being Chameleonic is not everyone's trait

Some people I know have mastered this art

So here I am all braced up for this Hate

All u have to do is play your part








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Angst, Bullshit And Drama


Observed life as a battle territory
Comes with the angst, bullshit and drama
And who has to end with the victory

Applying fault after fault after endless fault
A feeling in your guts begins to sicken
Begins to sink below your stomach
And somehow your torn with guilt

Without realization there isn't a reason
Can somehow all this bullshit make you stronger?
A myth no discovered just to prevent attention
Include their life as an observation for sympathy
And public distraction not kept discreet

A dramatic experience can hit like a curve ball
And strike at the head of your happily steady life

An angst filled with lollipop waiting to be squeazed from all the tension
Life sends it's bullshit while taking care of personal issues that crumble
Always remembering the problems we all endure

All this angst, bullshit and drama
All this angst, bullshit and drama
Just waiting for all of us to give up the battle

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Angst, Drama and Bullshit we all Battle daily. At this time, I was dealing with a lot of it so I vented it very clear.

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The American Dream

Working Life

You call me in, shake my hand, and congratulate me.
I humbly thank you for giving me the opportunity, yet you shove it back in my face and tell me I’ve earned it.
That’s when you go in for the kill. That’s when the inner car salesman comes out to play and you have one shiny bright piece of shit on the playground you’re just dying to sell.
Wife, kids, house, car, dog... I just politely play along and nod my head.
And of course the humoring of what you’re saying only causes you to go even further: boat, clothes, land...
But when you say wife, I hear whores...
When you say kids, I hear an endless supply of PBR...
A dog to you is an ounce of dank to me.
You tell me I’ve just walked in on the American dream.
What many souls backstab and kill to get, I just waltzed right in on and joined the club without even so much as an initiation or password.
A car? Give me a fuckin old guitar that looks of pain and rejoicing engrained deep into the wood.
And what good is a working class man without his house and land??
But I’ll still be renting a shitty room in this shitty town with my pride intact.
Because your dream is to have all this shit, and all that stature. While you all spend money on your spoiled brats and your cheating wives, I’ll be waiting patiently like the finest of hunters.
Because our American dreams differ in the sense that you make money to piss it away on what the most entertaining Super Bowl ad sold you and I make money to smoke Camels, get fucked up and bide my time.
So hopefully one day I can get away from all this shit and live amongst those who are actually free, and home to those brave enough not to go with this crowd.

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Let Me Reflect Upon Myself

I’m angry, I’m angry
Why am I so angry?
My brow’s always furrowed
My chest filled with angst.

I’m sad, I’m sad
Why am I so sad?
I no longer feel my tears
My face always numb.

I’m confused, I’m confused
Why am I so confused?
My mind’s a lost cause
They’ve all deemed me insane.

I’m lonely, I’m lonely
Why am I so lonely?
In a room full of people
I still talk to myself.

I’m scared, I’m scared
Why am I so scared?
I can smile when addressed
But the rest is a mess.

I’m lost, I’m lost
Why am I so lost?
I’ve been wandering for years
I don’t want to be found.

Who Am I?

Who am I?
Who am I to be so small and dream so big?
Who am I to want so much when I was raised in undeserving circumstance?
Can I believe that now, at 50, my life could be different?
That somehow, against all odds I could make it happen? Get it done?
I am a person who believes.
Who through it all still clings to a glimmer of hope, of possibility, of greatness. The same glimmer I saw, but could not catch, 30 years ago.
At what point does one say it is not me? I was not meant to be such things. That greatness is for others?
That is the beauty or the sadness of it. That I can still wake anew every morning and for the smallest of seconds, believe in me.
Even now.

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Adventure through the maze of darkness
Full of greed, full of shame
Journey through the hall of hate
Full of suffering, full of pain

Never wanted to see the light of day
Only a shadow will ease my guilt
Only a shadow will sooth my shame
I hear only whispers of one's voice
A voice of fear, a voice that is trembling
With agony and cruel punishment upon thee
Only you could save yourself
Only you could get away from this hell

Take a walk in a graveyard of spirits
Full of death, full of bones
Shatter these walls of greed
Shatter these walls of depression
Full of anger, full of guilt that is my own

Never shall we travel down this road
A road of nightmares and your worst fears
I hear nothing, no word, nor a whisper
A silenced memory locked inside
Brought with evil together with the good
Only you could help me co-exist
Only you could take me away from this hell

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Tough times through my life inspired this Dark and kind of Suicidal Poem.

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Heart Full of Lies

Goodbye to a lover ,Bye to a friend

My hearts been broken

I'll never love again

My heart been spoken

But my mind know it lies

I need a new lover to open up my eyes

In my future,I'm hoping she resides

My heart is a hypocrite

How can it be broken if it never split

This my realize

What shame

Use a lot of lies to cover pain

Like make up

But my heart smarter it says if lover just take the blame and make up

But my heart stronger its " shes gone ,tough luck you'll deal"

"But for real"

The mind replies "That's because your a heart ,when you break you heal "

My mind can't fathom why lie

But my heart retorts, "sometimes to tell the truth .you must use little white lie

now bye bye

I wont stop beating but I'm done for the night"

As my mind left to ponder it Wonder

If the heart right

What plight

Can we compromise

Nah,nah not as long as my heart full of lies.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Does heart or the mind decide when a relationship is over ?

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To Remember The Pain

To remember the pain

I put a bullet in my brain

Shoot nine slugs

to remember nine hugs

You gave me before you broke my heart

But you were always better than me I knew it was over before the start

Though i did my best to love you before you decided to part

Me and my heart in two

You were my best lover , my best friend , I know you know

As a matter of fact I know you knew

Although you decided to leave me lonely though

You broke my heart

However hearts grow fonder the father they part

So I let you go

Only to remember the Pain

Oh how I love you then I hate you only to love you again

Feelings so different yet ever the same

to remember the pain

I tie a string on each finger

Till they grow ever pinker

Dedicated to you my love

I hold you above the pain

I don't blame


Its just hurts to remember the love that I hope we still share

I still care

for you

It hurts,I hope,I don't care baby I love you too

I bid u a due

But not forever ,till next we be together in pain

And its only till were together again

Hope you still love me the same

To Remember the Pain

Author's Notes/Comments: 

The pain that is felt after someone dear leaves in death or in life is not a bad thing .It's a reminder of how good it will feel to see them again.So endure the pain for it will become bliss.Although till then they will be missesed.

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the world that made me


Told and told a thousand lies
Held a thousand hands
Trusted a thousand tricks
Suffered a thousand spites
Dug my heels in
Pleaded my cases
Held my tongue
And doled out graces
And for what and where I've been
And what and where I've seen
I am a product of my environment
A survivor by my imagination
The world that I was given to
Tore my soul apart
The world I'm going to
Won't change a thing
This one has left its marks on me.

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