Mein gebrochenes gefrorenes Herz

My work German

Ich bin hinein gefroren

Mit meinem Herzen, das zu meinem Gemüt geschlossen wird

Wenn Sie nur mir erzählen könnten, warum wir auseinander sind

Warum wir macht, scheinen wir, so weit auseinander zu sein

Sie sehen nur, was Sie sehen wollen

Sie befassen sich damit, wie Sie wahrnehmen, was Sie sehen

Sie halten die Taste zu meiner Liebe

Warum Sie gemacht hat, schließen Sie mich weg und schalten Sie Ihre Liebe ab

Ich bin gefroren

Mein Herz wird gebrochen bleiben

Wenn nur Sie mein Herz schmelzen könnten

Wir könnten uns und nicht auseinander freuen

Weil Sie meine Herzentaste halten

Warum Sie macht, hassen Sie, was Sie sehen

Ich bin gefroren

Ich bin gefroren

Ich bin hinein gefroren

Mit meinem Herzen, das zu meinem Gemüt geschlossen wird

Ich bin gefroren

Mit meinem gebrochenen Herzen

Ich bin völlig hinein gefroren

Mit Ihren Wörtern stechend mein Gemüt

Sie sind so damit verwirrt, wie Sie mich lieben

Ich wünsche nur, dass Sie nur sehen könnten

Wie bin ich so kalt und frieren

Ich bin gefroren

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a4) Jamie



Jamie (Summer - 1976)
by Elizabeth Van Cleve 


When it began
it started with hi
And if it ended
there sure was no goodbye

'Cause when it came to that

maybe we were just yellow
I guess we kept hoping someday
we'd hear the other say hello

I still hope
that is if you hope


I keep lots of memories of having such fun
And all of these memories, I'll always keep Hon


At any rate
When I think of it, we met by fate
I happened to be around at one time
When you had already been there that time

I met you, because I wanted to meet you
You met me, because that's what you wanted to do

Isn't it the perfect way
You know, I'll never forget that day


Who could forget
how after we met
in a driveway, we played two-square
thoughout the night in that cool evening air


We had a special kind of closeness
no one else could beat
It was only us
who knew how sweet


I hope no one will ever blame me
It's just I'll always miss you Jamie


To some now it may seem too late
they wouldn't continue to wait

I yearn to hear one hello
from that really sweet fellow
named Jamie whose name I'll never forget
nor thinking of him will I ever regret


If I could say only one thing to you
it would be simply that I'll always love you



Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a poem I wrote about a neighbor boy that lived at the end of my street.  I didn't have permission to play outdoors at night, before dinner or after dinner.  I found out a whole other world existed, when I got a babysitting job at the other end of the street. We laughed.  We talked.  We played two-square.  There was a really cute boy who noticed me.  When the others went in for dinner, he remained and played two-square with me in front of the house, after I put the kids to bed.  I took every job that family offered me.  But, one day, I learned that Jamie had moved away.

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Sleepless Contemplation

It’s night,

Around 2:00am.

I can’t sleep!

The excitement I have for tomorrow swells in the pit of my stomach.

I’ll be a free man tomorrow.

I’ll be able to walk away from all of this.

There is no way they can stop me,


It’s night,

Around 4:00am.

I’m still awake!

I’m starting to worry about what I said earlier.

I hope to god it won’t effect tomorrow.

Perhaps, it won’t matter.

Maybe I’ll finely call her when I get out.

It never hurts to try.

It’s early morning,

Around 6:00am.

I’m too tired to ‘give a cow’.

Whatever they decide doesn’t matter anymore.

I have nothing on the other side.

No hope, future, or motivation.

I see things differently now.

I see me.

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Reflectional eternal


Meditation and reflection

procreates life to be profound

accompanied by love, music and beats

plucks my heart strings to make a beautiful sound

Watching the moon go down,, oh so slowly

The wind howls wildly at night

My spirit is lifted for while

And my body is out of sight

I met a certain friend

at a strange time and place

a friend who cares for me dearly

one who does not have a face

Smiling, I turned away

tired, I started to weep

The day has ended, darkness has fallen

Time for me to go to sleep.

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with pride and arrogance

stalls expression:

self-illusions aren't

aesthetic adjustments

nor is poet

larger than himself

when he says

he's too small


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I hate my life

I hate myself

I hate a lot of things but hide it with a smile

I want to just be alone, but that's a lie

I don't want the world to see my pain

So I'll hide it in the dark like always

I want to be close, and yet as far away as possible

A girl alone in the world so insecure.

Let you in is just asking to break me down

so I shut out the world, and push away.

With each scream, I run farther.

With each tear trickling down my face

invisible to the naked eye

alone in this world

and whenever I try to get close

the world shatters and falls to pieces

I hate the fact that I hide away

I hate the fact that I push away, run away

but if you knew what I truly thought

you'd pity me, and I hate that too

Pretty girl, small girl, kind girl..

No, I think not...

In reality, all I want to do is to be held

To be not cheated upon, and to be truly loved

but I know that'll never happen

because I know I'll run away

too insecure to let anyone too close

Will there be a day where I'll let someone close to me?

perhaps, until then I'm insignificant.

Just another girl to be toyed with.

I'm not some toy...and my heart is not your game piece.

I have feelings too, no more or less then you

and you'll never know how I feel

because i'll keep my lips sealed.

it really doesn't matter anyways

because I'm not important.


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Quiet girl she never cries

Bites her fingers just to keep it in

Tastes the blood like bitterness

Looks finds no escape

The world drones on

A constant murmur in her ears

Above the noise- no one notices

She screams and screams

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An Honest Hearts Emotion

Looking in the mirror,

Not liking what I see.

Growing on the one hand,

The other wants to be three.

Wishing I was someone else,

Time goes by without my heart,

My body changing every day,

My soul tries to not fall apart.

Working so heart to grow and change,

Struggling to keep things ever the same,

Knowing my desires, they won't work,

But not quite able to end this game.

Getting down to the core,

I know is a must,

My heart is guarded ,

Afraid of crumbling to dust.

The pain that stops

My growth in its tracks,

Anger,   Fear  and disbelief,

Betrayal, desertion, stability lacks.

I can see down the road,

To call myself friend,

The path isn’t pleasant,

Rocky road to call myself friend.

I know the steps shown,

They say they will work.

But I’m not too sure,

I’m willing to feel that hurt.

Dig into my heart,

Feel to release, heal the pain.

Admit fear, sadness, anger,

The steps leading to cry again.

I have learned what I should,

Be seeing in the mirror.

But  my eyes are afraid,

To look past to the terror.

What will I do,

If past this wall I won’t get?

The whirlpool of chaos,

Instability my mind set.

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Viet Nam Pieces

My heart was quaking.

Afraid of rain.  But I could not hide.

Songs of raindrops and bullets entertained me.

My heart had the beat of weak bird's wings, merely fluttering.

I prayed for the sun to set.   Vain hope of invisibility.

Hate and fear, circling on the wind and calling to me.

My heart can fly no more, but I am home

and safe from all but those tears.

Bitterness still troubles me.

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