November-13-1996/ March-2-2004
Trisha M. Barrek Hopkins
-Before-
I felt like i never belong
I was always called the pain
I did everything wrong
I was only trying to beat the game
I've tried too hard for so long
But no matter what i do
I can never impress
I could never satisfy you
Whatever i tried turned into a mess
So sorry my eyes cant be the color blue
I'm sorry you don't like the way i dress
I always took what i could take
I always kept everything held inside
I always tried to be fake
I never showed my feelings that i decided to hide
I never had the topping on the cake
No one wanted to see it through my eyes
I always was an out cast
But people finally see when my heart dies
But that wouldn't even last
But this is before
I need to move on from the past
I need more
So i change my mind real fast
-After-
I do belong
I have no more pain
I do everything right no more wrong
I've won the game
Now I'm dancing to my favorite song
Everything that i do
Relieves me of my stress
My heart is brand new
The pain from before i have less
Deep down in my heart i know
That you i don't have to impress
I decided i'm going to keep what i take
I think its time not to hide
I know i'm not a fake
I'm my own person my own pride
I can have all my cake
I will stand by my side
I see more clear through my eyes
From now on i'm leaving the past
I don't hear my cries
From now on i'm gonna have a blast
The people that are mean i'll ignore
I'm a different person now
I am happier then before
I no longer wear a frown
Being my own self i know how
I'm the one who wears the crown
Copyright
..................
Early in the Morning,
a white van,
parked across the street,
the house being built,
new neighbors soon,
a nice family,
I met them briefly,
the man waved,
I said, "hello",
and he said, "nice dog",
I said,
"he's been great"
and walked in the house,
my Morpheus and me.
...............................
07/12/13 6:50 pm ©
.......................
My one dearest Jan,
Where are you now?
I see you've been gone
From our hometown
It's been three years since I last saw you
I regret that I ever knew you
It was nothing but disgrace
You made me fall far from grace
I was 15
and knew nothing
You were old enough
To fool my young heart
I loved you too much
And soon when we touched
I never knew when to stop
Then you put me down to drop
That deep feeling was too high
It seemed too new to me
Those sad times were full of lies
But doubts never crossed me
They said I was lucky to have you
I guess they just don't know the true you
Your sick self that frightened me is far from
Your sweet face you displayed in our last prom
You acted so good
You fooled her too
She fell to your traps
Like me with your match
But you never loved her
Bet her clear vision blurred
'Cause she loved you too
The way I used to
Dear Jan, I'm turning 18 now
But Jan, I still remember how
You lost my trust and love
Replaced by tears and grudge
I played fair through your rules
I played games though so cruel
Then you laughed at the end of it all
Then I cried, "I should have known"
I was 15 and thoughtless
I danced through your flames and traps
You were 18 and ruthless
You planned that sad, heartless match
Dear Jan, I cried back then so hard
'Cause Jan, I gave you all my heart
You made me lose all of my faith
Yet I stood up after those fails
Jan, I'm smiling again now
Jan, I can love again now
Though they failed too
They weren't like you
Even if you answer things I ask
They can never bring back the past
You made myself hide for some time
You made my heart cry the whole time
Lessons from you should be learned
Pictures of you should be burned
Three years ago, I was naïve with you
Recalling you, I now know what to do
From the deaths we sing
From the mud and murk
As darkness passes by,
We know our shame
To pass on here
To fall away
To rise from here,
On and on we know_
Born to feel this way
Born to know this pain
Born to know this death
(Chorus)
Waiting for that day;
The day we fly away;
Never feel that shame
Just come with me
take my hand
Wait no more
Known to find the line,
Cross that path
Choose your side
Then make your bed
Find your sleep
Take your dreams
Just find your way
Just float away_,
Tell them what you find
show them how you feel,
find your words
find yourself
know those words
keep them close.
speak them now
(chorus)