dear john

Dear Jan

Folder: 
1995

My one dearest Jan,

Where are you now?

I see you've been gone

From our hometown

 

It's been three years since I last saw you

I regret that I ever knew you

It was nothing but disgrace

You made me fall far from grace

 

I was 15 

and knew nothing

You were old enough

To fool my young heart

 

I loved you too much

And soon when we touched

I never knew when to stop

Then you put me down to drop

 

That deep feeling was too high

It seemed too new to me

Those sad times were full of lies

But doubts never crossed me

 

They said I was  lucky to have you

I guess they just don't know the true you

Your sick self that frightened me is far from

Your sweet face you displayed in our last prom

 

You acted so good

You fooled her too

She fell to your traps

Like me with your match

 

But you never loved her

Bet her clear vision blurred

'Cause she loved you too

The way I used to

 

Dear Jan, I'm turning 18 now

But Jan, I still remember how

You lost my trust and love

Replaced by tears and grudge

 

I played fair through your rules

I played games though so cruel

Then you laughed at the end of it all

Then I cried, "I should have known"

 

I was 15 and thoughtless

I danced through your flames and traps

You were 18 and ruthless

You planned that sad, heartless match

 

Dear Jan, I cried back then so hard

'Cause Jan, I gave you all my heart

You made me lose all of my faith

Yet I stood up after those fails

 

Jan, I'm smiling again now

Jan, I can love again now

Though they failed too

They weren't like you

 

Even if you answer things I ask

They can never bring back the past

You made myself hide for some time

You made my heart cry the whole time

 

Lessons from you should be learned

Pictures of you should be burned

Three years ago, I was naïve with you

Recalling you, I now know what to do

 
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