emotion

Light Switch (day 184)

My marveling spent on your outline,

frames that don’t hold any pasts,

maybe no future.

 

But this blood is not something I can stop from burning.

 

I pull out my eyelashes from floor to ceiling,

wishing when I can’t dream,

smiling when I can’t see,

staying when I can’t leave.

 

With the flick of a finger,

the blink of an eye,

you’re a dark room I can’t figure out without stumbling.

 

But this heart is not something I can turn on and off.

 

Please don’t leave me in this galaxy

when you go stargazing,

and when the dawn breaks

please leave the light on when you go.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 1/27/17

Light switch

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Scalding/Freezing (day 176)

I can only live in extremes.

 

I am the waterfall

and then

I am the memory of bursting lungs and upside-down thoughts.

I am the knives

and then

I am the softest heart you’ve ever held.

I am your dreams and nightmares

from minute to minute.

I am dead weight

and then

I am flying,

so high so high even the clouds can’t be my ceiling

I am the silence

and then

I am the bombs scratching souls

until they have no concept of healing.

 

I can only touch you in extremes.

 

I am scalding

and you drink me in like coffee,

you can smell me on the mornings your bones wake up exhausted enough to need it.

I am scalding

and you drink me in like coffee,

not caring for your blistered throat

I can soothe anything but heartbreak

with a beautiful fist like this.

 

Two steps and I am so cold

I could be a glacier song blaring from a snow-capped radio,

drums that beat like icicles

to mark your bare chest,

now that your hands have known me

you feel like you need scars to be complete.

 

I told you.

I live in extremes.

I live on the two poles of the world

and nowhere in between.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 1/19/17

Dead weight

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Rock Paper Scissors (day 167)

I’m the wind that keeps haunting

a breeze that can hold you

a gust that can tear you apart.

 

Rock

paper

scissors

now here’s what I am today,

a friend or an enemy.

 

Rock

paper

scissors

yes, here’s what I am today,

a comfort or

something to upturn all your flowerbeds.

 

I slip in,

a firework in spring

and then all at once

the dry season hits I singe your world.

 

I slip in smooth as the sea…

one word from you,

a flick of your hand and

you’ve pissed off Poseidon again.

 

Rock

paper

scissors

here’s what I am today,

a postcard beach or quicksand.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 1/10/17

Rock, paper, scissors

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Immortal (day 136)

I don’t think I have time

to love or hate you

but for some reason this body thinks I’m immortal.

 

I don’t want to be dramatic

I don’t want to be like you

breezing into every room like something everybody wants

 

I don’t think I have time

to linger here,

to love and hate you

I’ll just pass you like the background

 

But the world is so lonely like that-

maybe,

for you,

I could be immortal.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 12/13/16

Linger

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tags:

On My Own

Verse 1:

If only you could see

That we're meant to be,

Though, I can make it on my own,

I want you by my side.

'Cause I'll be there

When the world stops.

 

Chorus:
I can find a way home.

I can make it on my own.

If only you'd be by my side,

I cannot make it without you.

If only you'd realize

That I'm the one for you.

 

Verse 2:

All this time,
I've been incomplete without you.

Our hearts are witch each other.

Maybe, I'll find someone

That I'll love unconditionally.

 

Bridge: 

This love that I found again,

I'll cherish our memories

That I thought I had forgotten.

If only you were by my side,

You'd realize my undying love for you.

 

Last-Chorus:
I won't let you go

'Cause babe, you're my poison.

The day we met still

Lingers in my mind.

Your love is my sin. 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Song written on American's Thanksgiving. It's about loving someone that does love you but can't admit it yet..

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Echo

Verse 1:
I know that these words

Aren't quite true.

Ringing in my head,

Your voice becomes an echo,

An echo in my heart.

 

Chorus:
Now, I know it may seem

Strange or even crude

But I want you to know that

I've let you go.

I've let us go.

 

Verse 2:
Watching my expectations crash,

I silently wait on you

To notice me.

To notice the silence in the air.
You've now become an echo in my heart.

 

Bridge:
I wonder if you think of me

As I think of you at night.

It keeps me up at night..

Your intentions become clearer

As time goes on.

 

Last-Chorus:
Don't play me for a fool.

'Cause I can play the game.

It won't end well

For the both of us.

We both become echoes in the night wind. 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This song is about a situationship that someone has moved on from whether it be a "fuckboy" or "fuckgirl". He/she is now in a healthy relationship with someone that can treat them better...

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Heartbeat Part 3

Verse 1:
Come away with me tonight.

This heart beats so alone

Without its better half.

Babe, you're my heartbeat.

 

Chorus:

All the rhythms lead

And point to you.

Can you run into my arms?

'Cause you're worth the fight.

 

Verse 2:

I'd do anything for us.

It's worth the aches and pain.

There's no price for what

I'd go through for you.

 

Bridge:

 This heart beats so alone

Without its better half.

Perhaps, now, would you return to my side?

'Cause you are my life's memory: my heartbeat.

 

Last-Chorus:
Was it a sin to love you?

'Cause you're my posion.

This heart beats so alone

Without its better half.

For, you are my heartbeat. 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

"Heartbeat Part 3" inspired by the Ariana Grande song: "All My Love" which a guy friend dedicated to me. I don't love my guy friend in that way though so I ended up breaking his heart...

Another Night Alone

Verse 1:
I won't spend another night alone.

If it's not you no one else can do.

'Cause we belong together,

You're my shooting star.

 

Chorus:

 All this time, I spent with you:
These memories will never die out.

'Cause I know you by heart,

Wherever you will go, I'll follow you.

 

 Verse 2:

Now, the time has come for me

To put myself into your hands.

'Cause you gotta know: We belong to each other.

Our hearts are continuously set in the afterglow.

 

Bridge:

If you and me, if there's a possibility

Of beconing one with you,

Let loose and come unto me tonight.

Fall apart or hold on tight.

 

Last-Chorus:

Every time the phone rings,

I expect it to be you.

I spend each daily liviing like this.

Won't you take me home tonight?

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Songs that inspired me to write this song:
1) "Stand by U" - Tohoshinki

2) "The Best Mistake I've Ever Made" - Joanna Wang

3) "Take Me Home" - Oceanlane

4) "I Won't Spend Another Night Alone" - The Ataris 

Memories of You

Verse 1:
The light flickers on and on.

Memories of you are still

Here with me.

Where are you now?

 

Chorus:

I trusted you.

I loved you.

I gave you all of me

Yet you threw it all away.

 

Verse 2:

Are you doing what makes you happy?

Who are you with?

What dreams are you dreaming

Even now, I am still here.

 

Bridge:

I still believe that we will see each other again.

I should have held your hand when you were still mine.

I'll stand by you

Until the day I die.

 

Last-Chorus:

'Cause I still love you,

I can't help missing you.

Now that you're gone,

It's you I want, all of you.

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This song is dedicated to my ex/first love. I may never truly and fully get over him. A part of me will always love him no matter what.

 

Songs that inspired me to write this song:
1) "Can't Help Missing You" - Hwan Hee

2) "Stand by U" - Tohoshinki

3) "I Love You" - Joanna Wang

4) "Fiction" - Beast