emotion

Answer

Folder: 
2017

I don’t think you want me to answer,

if I do you will leave me behind,

you have the world to play and I only have one piano.

 

I can frame what I feel for you with my fists,

love with only half a hand

when you’re looking down at me.

 

I can smoke you like I’ll never be sober,

risk it all when I fall apart,

keep half of your serenity.

 

I can only make your face fall when I answer,

give too much when I’m not enough,

leave you in the sky when I’m standing still.

 

I could want a road that doesn’t end,

I don’t know what I want, too heavy

when you’re looking down at me.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 4/29/17

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Don't

Folder: 
2017

Don’t go spilling lemon juice on my carpet

if you’re not asking to stay.

 

I love like

this,

hear me once and I’m an echo,

I will lock my fingers with yours

and swallow the key.

 

Don’t go changing every mind,

tying us into any web you can weave

I will pretend I know what I’m doing when

I’m lost with no light.

 

I am a product of staring up at endless skies

and thinking about you

Don’t go building catapults,

bringing stars down into your eyes

if you don’t want me to look at them.

 

Don’t go laughing and pin it all on me

when you have so many worlds to carry,

don’t go hanging weights on my words

when yours are just beautiful nothing.

 

Don’t go pulling strings I know you can see

just to cut them loose,

don’t go chasing sunsets and then

leaving me behind.

 

Don’t go dreaming halfways,

I don’t need anything

but this wanting might drive me insane.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 4/26/17

Someone Who Is

Folder: 
2017

Every moment I’m here, spill the salt water,

hope it lands in all the right spots

or I’ve soaked something far from waterproof

no matter how sharp you can hear my thoughts.

 

And now I have found

someone who is, a live or die,

sparklit fantasy with no warning signs,

cold coffee, hot lava, can’t stop time,

tell you to miss me every time you say goodbye.

 

Lift your face like a lighthouse, sleep well,

we’re not sleeping when your breath is a moan,

maybe in another life we could- wake up here

and forget about who would throw stones.

 

And now I have found

someone who is, a live or die,

wide open ocean with no stop signs,

hot coffee, burning bitter, love this wasted time,

tell you to kiss me with your hand in mine.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 4/22/17

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Catch Your Breath

Folder: 
2017

There is no way to know how you hold me,

how your wishes leave dust on my skin

so I’ll tell you I have too many side weights to be here.

 

You run with the tigers but you don’t tell me,

wait for the crest but maybe this is it

so I’ll hold myself over you until you catch your breath.

 

Here you go, I say I still don’t know

push off loving you like you deserve

so the parachute tears my chest as I leave here again.

 

There is no way to know how I’ll touch you,

how when you catch your breath I always cave in

 

so please stay here like you let me.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 4/20/17

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Destruction

Folder: 
2017

here we fall like the rain

we mend like destruction

and I am so ready to throw the shield,

drench you and let myself become

in a perfect world a lot of things could happen.

 

here we crash like the concrete

we’re saved like a storm

and I am not ready to be so ready,

living half a life and twice the passion on your skin

in a perfect world I would give you more than I thought possible.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 4/17/17

Selfish

Folder: 
2017

Tangled

messy

choices

your fingers mend with mine

your lips are my addiction

 

Can’t help

needing this

more than

I want to walk straight

 

Too many bridges

we can’t burn them down

we have so much fire

and no gasoline to keep us smoothed over,

we will cross this line

again and again

 

Tangled

messy

choices

I swallow you like the truth I can’t stop pushing off

 

If this is selfish

I never want to be selfless again.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 4/14/17

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Tired

Folder: 
2017

I thought I wanted to love you.

I still think so but I’m so tired,

I’m ready to fight the storm that made us

but I don’t want to pull you down with it.

 

Every minute I let myself think

I take another step toward you

but turn my face away,

and then you are too beautiful

to even think about making me cry.

 

I don’t want to hang you with emeralds

but they cling to your eyes,

magnets and I can’t remember

the slices of songs that were going to fall from this.

 

Trust me, after last night

it is going to be harder

for you to make me laugh

now that my eyes are crystallized

with those leftover dreams,

and every time I wake up

you’ve left salt between the sheets.

 

Every time I stay up

it’s so many hours I don’t want back,

selfish as I can be when the sun goes down,

you leave trails of why not down my face.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 4/14/17

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Perfect Sky

Folder: 
2017

I write lines that sometimes rhyme,

sometimes crash and fall

Sometimes I pull out words from her

I shouldn’t want at all

 

My chest is testing, messy blessing

I wish I’d stayed till dawn

I wish I had the perfect sky

to spill the lightning on

 

Her name is memory, broken record

so I won’t get stuck in lies

Her face is magnetic, a ledge to leap

a place I will set my eyes

 

This game I play is war or beauty,

terrified that they’re both right

She spends the last of her minutes here,

I still can’t sleep through the night

 

My temperature rises, smoke to flashes

burns when I never choose

I wish we had the perfect canvas

and color we would never lose

 

Her kiss is lighter, heartache changer

didn’t know I could love to cry

Her kiss is faster, sinner, breathier

I can bite out the reason why

 

My heart is heavy, maroon lately

but I love that color too

Sometimes the red gets too damn lonely

with her I can even fade to blue

 

So I write lines that sometimes rhyme,

sometimes crash and fall

Sometimes I pull out words from her

I shouldn’t want at all

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 4/12/17

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List

Folder: 
2017

How long till we lose?

I’ll give you an hourglass.

 

Write me a list of all the things

we will toss into the flames,

 

all the chaos trapped in my brain

when you’re in the room

or not,

 

all the simple I long for

and the quiet and the close

I know I shouldn’t want,

 

all the letters I will pin to your name

that will stay after the bomb drops-

26.

 

Now I can’t use a pen without dragging you behind it.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 4/11/17