LETTERS

Letters

If I could write a letter to my past,
There are so many things I would say

 

If I could write a letter to my future,
There are so many things I would ask

 

I would say “it'll get better, stay strong!”

And that would be a lie

 

I would ask, “does it ever get better?”
And I would hope that it does

 

I would say “you're strong, you can hold the world on your shoulders!”
And that would be a lie

 

I would ask, “did you make it through this?”
And I would hope the answer's yes

 

If I could write a letter to my past,
I would only be able to lie

 

If I could write a letter to my future,
I don't think I'd want a reply

 

We endured so much in the past,
Scraping by, clawing through the dust and into what we thought was sunlight

 

We'll have endured so much in the future,
And hopefully we'll have emerged in the moonlight

 

We suffered so much pain in the past,
But it feels like nothing but a sliver under our skin compared to now

 

We'll have suffered so much in the future,
That if we're still around I will truly be shocked

 

If I could write a letter to my past,
I wouldn't warn them

 

If I could write a letter to my future,
I wouldn't ask for help

 

Because this pain is what makes us who we are,
This pain defines us,
It binds us and shackles us to our broken version of reality.

 

If I could write a letter to my past,
I wouldn't give help
I wouldn't warn them of the dangers to come,
Because that pain, the pain that defines my very reality
Is all I have left.

 

And if I could write a letter to my future, I wouldn't ask for help,
I wouldn't ask for a heads-up or a warning of everything to come,
Because that pain, the pain that defines my very life,
Will continue to antagonize my every breath,

Leading me to become someone beyond our imaginations.

 

If I could write a letter across time,
There wouldn't be much in it,
Because if there was,

Those letters wouldn't be addressed to me,
They'd be addressed to someone completely different,
Someone who hasn't suffered the pain that defines me.

 

I need that pain.
Without that pain, me wouldn't be me.

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If and When

Folder: 
The Drabble Ditch

If and When

 

There's a sea, a city, then her,

All waiting for home and a happy place,

Each caved by impatience, importance and imperfection

That they're sick of waiting, and yet

There's hope there, I hope.

Although there's fear there, I fear.

A fear that hope is too far away

And a hope that fear will be far enough away,

Fear is bitter fruit, so let's not.

Hope is a well-thumbed book and we can,

It's a plan, or a laugh or a song, or a day

Without eyes, just words and a laugh.

You're waiting for a day to say "I deserve it"

But it isn't the bones and the pain and the hate that you need,

 

It's a boat across the sea to the city. 

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Pressed Flowers

She asked for her letters back.
Who does that?

Love letters are like flowers,
you don't give them back
after you break up--
not like the scarf she lent me,
or all those guitar picks--

you keep them pressed and folded
in the back of a drawer
stacked neatly.

You forget them, until one day
you open that drawer

and smell the sweetness of her perfume
see the loops of her handwriting
on cheap lined paper
and remember.

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BULLET OF BETRAY

Today would be the day,
If I did not woke up from fairies tales.
This is no day to died,
I am going to delay my sins,
What happens? Silly me!
Letters, words, calls,

I guess, we all wanted to go to Hollywood,
The smell of decay felt like achievement,
Today could be the day,
But I shall die another night,
And seating still, I kept silence,
Watching you, craving for success…

Close your eyes and you might see me,
Keep open your senses,
And play the part,
We know, who pulled the trigger,
And I survived the betray,
The bullet never came!

Few syllables penned on a page,
But no letters drifted in my loneliness,
Potentials turned to bullets,
So I close all exits!
To find my way to freedom,
And so, I shall die another night…

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Author's Notes/Comments: 

IS BEEN A LONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG TIME

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