hatred

Hatred Boiling the Blood in My Veins

Every bullshit are like fires,
They hit me like a flamethrower.
Hatred grows like bubbles in a bath,
They grow bigger and bigger until they pop.

But, the fires burns on my skin so much.
My blood boils hotter until bloody bubbles are what's left of me.
All my anger and hatred filled up,
My veins are about to break and spill the blood everywhere.

It hurts so damn much...
I don't want to end up looking like Carrie
A filthy, bloodied woman just filled with hatred.
But, the pain just won't end from the fires...

Lost Within

My minds on overdrive
I'm emotionally wrecked
I no longer want to live
But death hasn't freed me yet
I can't do anything right
Which I've continued to prove
I hate this life
I have nothing left to lose
I want to escape
Get away from it all
But no matter where I run to
My demons always call
Within this downward spiral
Is where I'll remain
Until the day I leave this world
I'll always be in pain

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Season

She was with me when the day was bright
she was with me when there was no light
she was with me when i felt pain
she was with me in when it started to rain

she showed me the right path
she told me it is not too late to start
she was there when I was lost
she was there when I re- fought

I dont know why things change
i dont know why she acted so strange
She never told me the reason
she moved on like some season

I thought she was playing some game
she acted like she don’t even know my name
she suddenly made her decision
she won’t talk and won’t even give me a reason

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Depression

You kill yourself 'cause no one cares
Tearing yourself up at the seams
Just another day and everything's still fucked
You hate the world around and hope they all can go to hell
No one understands why you do the things you do

Destroy yourself in the heat of the moment
Momentary pleasure is a virtue for your soul
Put walls around yourself so no one can see the scars
Put on a show for all the people
Make them think that you're okay when they all know you're not

You hate yourself for everything you do
You wonder if the world would be better without your useless self
Hating every moment and begging that it might stop

Sprawled upon your bed your thoughts hit you like a freight train
One hundred mile per hour anxious thoughts that don't seem to stop
You hate yourself and the people who do you wrong
You want them to be mangled and hurt

Scared for the confrontation where you both stare awkwardly away
And hope that you don't have to say a word
For the only things you have to say to her are to fuck off and leave me alone

Hatred for society, hatred for the government
They're never right anyway
Hatred for your traitors, hatred for your own selfish needs
Psychological addiction killing you slowly day by day
The world spins and you hope to leave for another world.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Pretty self explanatory. It's just talking about feelings that I've felt and things that I've been through in the last few months.

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M

Folder: 
*Beginning*

why should I do
 the thing you want?
as long as you,
 do not the ones I do.
just smile and I
 will come and 
  give a hug
but wait and
  I will stand still too.
so many times I
 never minded tricks you did,
but once fed up
 I live as if I'm never stoic
as if I am a stranger-man to you
 you never said those
 warm three words
and claimed that actions
 speak all those
but once I noticed
 something offish
what should I think
of you...my dear?
you always ask me
 for excuse
I did so once
 and then did
  twice and trice...

I wonder if there is
 a box where there you
  keep my words
that is because I can't
take in why do
 you need all these "sorry"s?
there should have been a step
 from you, when
I had tired and lost heart,
 to show that you
least care of me
 to hug me back
  to kiss my cheek
and show that actions
 have a mouth, let's come to it.
still I don't have an evil
 grin, do keep no
 black in grey
I wish the best to you, my dear
 and proud of "us"
  instead of "me"
I even promise to be strong
 although feeling that I'm wrong
and getting gloss from me
 You'll only hear:
  " let it be..."

19 Feb 8:05 PM

Author's Notes/Comments: 

"grey" in poem is grey matter :)

 

mb too personal, but that's it. thnq for attention.

 

w/l Shumic

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Horrors

Folder: 
Exodus

Breathe slowly my child,

for tonight shall be wild,

there is no where for you to run,

I shall have all my fun!

 

Or so he thought as he sat there,

before a young boy who was scared,

but before he could continue his lewdness,

a spear drove right through his heart.

 

The boy thought he was saved from Hell,

but only to learn this is where it all fell,

a fissure cracking in the home,

fire spewing from down below.

 

From the pits of Hell itself,

monsters swarmed out to kill the boy,

and now we have our Hell on Earth,

where even the innocent die and burn.

 

These creatures of great malevolence,

torture, kill, and change us into them,

even the new born baby,

is turned into a monstrosity!

 

Tell me is this our future?

Where innocents and guilty die together?

We shall all be consumed by fire,

even if you pray, you shall die.

 

So now you sit up at night and cry,

knowing there will be fire from ground and sky,

innocent and guilty prosecuted together,

no difference between one or the other.

 

So you sit and watch these horrors,

I sit back and plan my future,

I shall have no future to plan,

for I am just a gust of wind churning the sand.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Please if you comment, do not take any religious views on any of my poetry. I prefer not to get religion, which I do not believe in, and my creativity mixed up into a raging battle. It just wastes my time, as well as yours.

Depression

Folder: 
2000

All alone am I

In this world

So cold and cruel

 

Hatred fills my heart

Consumes every inch

Hatred of life itself

 

Hatred of people

The ones that hate me

Just because im not them

 

Hatre of God

For creating me

Forcing me to live

 

To live in a hell

Full of tortured souls

Just as I

 

Isolated from everything

From love, happiness

Or any thing worth having

 

In a dark cold place

That gives me chills

And scares me

 

I wish not to die

Yet I wish not to live

Confusion is torturous

 

It's diving me insane

Or am I there already

I know not where I am

 

I wish to end it all

T rid myself of the pain

To go to a better place

 

I know how-its easy

With a knife

Through my wrists

 

Death shall take me over

Ino a better place I'll go

Hell is better than this

 

~Chrystal

Written on

August 18, 2000

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Wel this one is another one I wrote what I was feeling. Take it to heart, that I never have made any sort of attempt. This was how I felt at the time

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Confession To Hell

 

You're better off left lying there,

Black, cold stare, no one cares

Who would think that it's the end?

The last few moments, without a friend

Though no one can say that they're surprised

Etched in your eyes, all your hate and despise

You left them bleeding, wounded, dead

Locked in their sorrows and drowning in red

And It hurts to say that I've survived,

Because I feel like I've died, screaming inside

So I will turn and walk away,

Though I feel no love when your screaming in pain

And feel all your hate pour out from disguise

Spew out in red in proxy of your lies

Confess all your sins, say one last farewell,

Because for all of your hatred, you'll be confessing to hell.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

You know who they are, the people that, in the cruelest form, twist and turn a friend or loved one, hurting them beyond repair. Or perhaps, you've been the victim of the scarring event. This has, sadly, just happened to me. The person who made me into something I'm not. And someone I've never wanted to be. Going to be tested for heart problems (again) and bi polar depression on Thursday. I'm fourteen, why is my life like this now?

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