Words flow in
but stumble out
I whisper things
I’d rather shout
My heart thinks
before my head
Fingers cling
to words unsaid
Time stands still
while blurring past
Please tell me things
I haven’t asked
Too far to touch,
too close to speak
I’m bravest when
you make me weak
I'm letting go of my reervations
Becaus of days of synchronisity
Despite days of hesitation
Can you see what you do to me?
Things have been moving so fast
Causing uncomfortable vulnerability
But I'm letting it flow and I hope it lasts
Can you see what you do to me?
Our stories are so similar
And we met so recently
Yet you still sem so familiar
Can you see what you do to me?
This rush of emtions for me is so new
But already it's plain for people to see
And I hope I'm doing for you
What you do to me
Whatever the number of the days,
That we both have left, to live,
My heart, my soul, my steadfast love,
To only you...I will forever give.
You've made my life, so very joyful,
Being in your arms, is my happiest place.
You've brought laughter back into my life,
You've placed smiles, back upon my face.
And this is only just the beginning,
Of all I ever really dreamed of.
The days ahead, only belong to us-
For this is OUR FOREVER, My Love!
I dared to finally confront,
to take that walk of dissolution
-away-
from all I ever knew
including the pain,
the desecration,
the hurt, the sadness,
the empty lonliness.
In letting go,
I, in essence, actually,
held on even tighter...
tighter to me,
to my sanity, my heart,
to-my-very-self
in a sure and certain life-grip
that whitened my knuckles.
The emotional and verbal
pummeling of my soul,
was tantamount
to a literal bashing
that left scars only I
could internally see,
and still always felt,
their constant bruising.
I was left feeling a worthlessness,
a total self-loathing
and such utter desire
to cease the pain by ceasing to be,
that my only other choice
finally was strengthened
by my newfound will-
newfound desire,
to survive.
For sometimes to heal,
to live once more
and breathe on
a fresh air of dignity,
to begin anew,
to give life and self
to loving once again...
something first, must die.
I fought for me.
Finally,
And at long last,
Did I decide
That enough
was way past
Enough!
I prayed for a peace
For strength,
And prayed for
The courage
That until now
Eluded my
every step.
And with the heart
Of a battle ready warrior,
My soul my weapon,
I made my stand,
Stood fast
And fought for
My very life.
After countless years
Of defeat
Of battle-scarred losses,
This was my
Gettysburg,
And victorious,
I emerged.
Now,
I fight that fight
No more.
I have found peace
In triumph
And love
After my war.
I thought it now barren,
just empty of all emotion-
save for the despair
that so filled the hollow voids
and overtook any and all joy.
Now made to close itself off,
from the hurtful, hurled words,
-a verbal bashing of a heart,
long-numbed from maiming
and cold to missing affections.
No longer an open novel,
shared with others, unashamed,
now bound up tightly
with its very own bindings,
in attempt to protect and shield.
I had to...to simply survive.
It became necessary
to shutter my eyes closed,
lest someone penetrate
my occular windows...and learn.
Learn of the misery, the fear,
the utter anguish and torment,
that for so long, far TOO long,
was concealed and masked,
in fear of anyone, knowing my truth.
Because who would believe
after so many years of concealing,
that such was my my existance
for almost...all along
so much that I wished to die.
Then in a sudden moment of Grace,
as I sat, tears streaming,
hands upturned, in sobbing prayer,
lost and broken, I petioned Him,
And God heard...and answered.
He gave me my answer-
along with the courage, the strength
and determination to break the ties,
that for too long, held me bound-
an inmate to another's sentencing.
No longer afraid, I rose up,
standing as tall as my convictions
and in a mere conversation,
took back and took charge
of what was mine-my very life-my soul.
In what can only be God's planning,
His desire for His daughter's happiness,
He gave hope and love, back to me,
In a most unexpected source-
Where a past, became the present.
No longer devoid of any emotion,
No longer tied to what was,
Now moving forward to who is,
I am now, a soul-resurrected,
And life, became again, so worth living.
I think, today, I'm going to smash my phone with a hammer.
because everytime it goes off, I get a false sense of hope that it'll be you at the other end.
But you're not there,
you never are,
so instead of sitting here wishing upon stars,
I'll distroy the thing that causes me so much pain.
On second hand, maybe I'll wait until tomorrow...
you know...
incase you decide to call.
It grows like a flowering vine
that entwines itself tightly upon a fence
With each passing day, stronger, more bound
to the surface that holds up it's existence
A fence that was once plain
Now enveloped in a verdant green
One
alone
cannot know it's fullest potential
without the other