holding on

Blurred Edges

 

It’s in the tremble of your voice as

 

You lean on me and the sweet

 

Tears trickle down from your eyes

 

 

 

It’s in the way you try to stifle

 

Your cries as if I can’t feel them

 

Coming in waves throughout your body

 

 

 

It’s in that final moment when we’re

 

Done and you’re “so sorry” but

 

This is uttered with meaning this time

 

 

 

It’s in the core of me - that feeling of

 

Knowing this is a sign and within

 

Moments we’re both ending and beginning

 

 

 

It’s in the way we hold onto each other and

 

Our worlds are both spinning because

 

This will be the “last” but we’ve said it all before

 

 

 

It’s in the time that we’ve taken to get here, for

 

This moment of rapport and soul spilling

 

It’s the first time we’re really seeing each other

 

 

 

It’s seeing through the walls we both insist on

 

Building to keep another out as we’re

 

So very afraid of really letting people in

 

 

 

It’s the knowing that you’ve shown me you and

 

I’ve let you see more than just my skin

 

You’ve felt my body and melted with my mind

 

I’ve lost where you end and where I begin.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I'm incredibly new to poetry so keep that in mind while you read Embarassed

This poem comes out of a memory from not so long ago. The last line is adapted from a part of a song called 'Basic Space' by The xx (I recommend you listen), and I had this line in mind while writing as it really resonated with me (and essentially inspired the whole thing).

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Pushed Away

Folder: 
2013

You say that you’ll lose me

To him, again

I’m sorry but you are wrong

You cant lose something

That you have never had

You lost me many months ago

Because of your insecurities

And your worry that someone,

Anyone will take me away

Well I'm here to tell you

That no one will ever take me

Not from you, not from anyone

Unless I want to be taken

But you never knew that

And if you did, you never,

Ever showed it

Not to me, not to anyone

So here it is,

Here is the reason for everything

You cant keep something,

You cant hold on to

Something that you pushed away

So long ago

 

~Chrystal

Written on 

April 27, 2013

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this about my ex, Tom Neville. This wasnt the end of us, only the beggining of trying to let him go. In the end, I did finally let him go. That wasnt until many months later.

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Dream For Me

Castrate the blame from your temper,

There is devotion to your temple;

I worship each drop of blood from your hungered kiss,

Drugged and sated; empowered, insatiable yearning,

A coffin for your fears to dwell in,

As forests burn and the skies crumble,

Passion burns so bright; all that is left are the ashes,

You smile, but your eyes show torture.

 

Child soldier bleeding, stitching the wound to keep on breathing,

Dragged through the trenches, with only himself as the enemy:

Identity fixed with a diagnosis and alien prescription,

Medicated cure for the human symptoms,

Creating a man-made preservation: 

Lawless, careless; trading handshakes for guns,

A lust for love, nurtured by anxiety:

Dream for me, and I will be yours. 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

The battles we go through ourselves, and through others, to reach equal ground, understanding, but also something much deeper than anything each have known. 

Beautiful Rose

On a day in mid summer

you bloomed from the ground

you woke from your slumber

and spun the World round 

You're my beautiful rose

so pretty and sweet

but when I got closer

your thorns I did meet 
With those sharp swords stabbing at my heart

I knew I must leave, but I could not part

from that sweet disposition that you gave

I'll forever be yours till I'm in my grave
Because you're my beautiful rose

so pretty and sweet

I won't let you go

my heart is now complete. 

Orange Wall

Folder: 
2010-2012 Poems

In the corner of the orange room, I sat and cried...
I stared at the wall and wondered why I came
and why I was still sitting there.

When all there was to see and feel
was a ghost of the past,
that will never ever come back...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

-(c)jerlin 09June11

Borderline

Folder: 
Love/Lust

 

This is for whomever cares.

 

And I beg of you,

Just let me cry.

 

I beg of you,

Don’t push me away again.

 

I know you won’t,

So you say.

 

But, I beg of you,

Just don’t let go,

And don’t forget to breath.

Don’t forget to think about time.

 

For time is the key,

To our existence.

‘in time’

Will fail us all.

 

I beg of you,

Just let me cry.

So the pain will drain

 

From me

And from you.

 

All of us will be…

Perfect, one day.

 

One day,

For time is the key

To our existence.

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