Pain/Sorrow

Masquaered

Folder: 
Depression

i have a feeling

you may not know

by the way i am

my radiant glow



i hide this feeling

deep within me

inside i shelter

this horrible being



it is a feeling

not well liked

its sensation

ramming, spiked



running deep

thru my heart

breaks my spirit

tears me apart



this feeling is not love

nor one of hate

but one of loss

a horrible fate



this empty feeling

has a name

good or bad

its all the same



a feeling called Pain

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I CANT FIGURE THE LAST VERSE!!!  HELP ME!!!!!  I need a title too if you want to do all that work for me - lol  thanks to anyone who does help or even tries  means alot --- all fixed   anyone like it???

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Every Day I’ll Kill Myself A Little More Until I'll Finally Die

I’ve always been here for you

Will you be there to catch me if I jump?

(I can’t fall any further)

I always told you things were fine

Even when they weren’t

You just say nothing

And the silence hurts my ears

The sight of you makes me cry

And every day I’ll kill myself a little more

Until I'll finally die

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem is about my self-destructive tendencies.

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A Real Attack of The Heart

Folder: 
closet boxes 2002

If you loved me, why did you leave...

Was there something wrong with me...

Was I not pretty enough

smart enough...

What was wrong with you...

Was there someone else...

Are you to good for me...

Why don't I understand...

Why am I so alone...

Why am I crying...

Why don't I hate you...

Why wearn't you honest...

Why couldn't we work...

Whose fault is this...

Did I hurt you...

Did I love you...

Did you love me...

Can anyone love me...

Am I unlovable...

Will I always be alone...

Do I want to live...

Do I want to die...

Why do I bother writing...

Is it worth anything anymore...

Is anything...

Wht won't you stay...

Who am I...

What have I done?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Just thoughts about scott again

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Close Your Eyes

Folder: 
closet boxes 2002

When I let go to search for something

to find some meaning to this life

lost it all to find nothing

but this un-belated strife.



Gave up the things that meant the most

for a vision of better days

now I have nothing to lose

no matter what you say.



It's far too late

i'm too far gone

so close your eyes

it won't be long.



I never broke

a single heart

and it's too bad

I have to start.

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Gravity

Gravity is the source of my depression

For it holds me down without consent

Like shackles on my feet

It keeps me from my dreams of flight

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Mistake

Folder: 
My very favorites

Love is and ever will

Be intertwined within our hearts

Though we do speak

Words are spoken through our silence

Your expresions tell me how you feel

And that face that was once so glad

Now shows a hint of sadness

I am hurt by what you did

And I know that you are sorry

Still I can only forgive you slowly

For I know in your heart

You have had time to think

About what you have done

The mistake you have made

I can only start to be your friend

When you own up to my face

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HEAR ME MY FRIEND

You want me to talk of love and rain,

When my heart and soul bleed with pain,

Forced to pass my days with vampires,

How can you expect me to be sane.



Passing by the sea I sigh with the waves,

How ugly has become Earth's face,

You want me to cajole and laugh,

I want the Trumpet to end my race.



You talk of dinners and banquets,

I see hungry kids begging,

You want just to dine and dance,

Have I got time for romance?



You love to shop and be frivolous,

Like Cossette and Marius,

Know you not that I am Jean Valjean,

My torn and tattered coat is famous.



They raped a wronged girl today,

And yet your eyes want me to play,

They said she must be punished,

Won't my heart and head turn gray?



You say you are just one of the crowd,

I say I am the defiant one,

One who can't forget the sword,

If a soul is victim of the proud.



Even I long to live and love,

Sing my songs of Spring with doves,

Recite poems to nightingales,

And with my heart's joy revive my vows.



But I have very little time,

My pen is the sword that rhymes,

I am never without my weaponry,

To erase evil artistry...



So, when I pass by the sea and gaze,

Everything is covered with haze,

Let my heart and mind pause and think,

Let my blood colour my quill and ink...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Composed on July 4, 2002. Inspired by Deborah Russell's replies to some of my poems. This is an appeal not a rebuttal. Jean Valjean, Cossette and Marius are characters of Victor Hugo's famous novel Les Miserables. Jean Valjean is the central character who suffers throughout the story for the sake of the ones he loves. Cossette is his adopted daughter and Marius is Cossette's lover.

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There Are No Words.....

I could write



a million poems



on the aching



within my heart,



or find a hundred



different ways



to explain how



you've torn it apart.



I could tell my tale



of lies and betrayal,



of the countless tears



I have cried...



Or I could show to you



a woman you knew,



who’s fragile heart



is breaking inside.



But the rhymes I write



or the words I speak,



no matter what they be....



Are not enough,



will never be enough



to express how much



you have broken me~





By, A.M.R.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Just another one of my 'broken-hearted, feeling sorry for myself' poems.....

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Affect Me

you hurt me

and you dont even know

you make me feel sad sometimes

but I dont let it show

I cant tell you

because I dont want to lose

I always show you my happy side

but yet I'm dropping clues

you dont know how much I need you

I wonder if your love is true

because your always on my mind

you affect everything I do

I always just wish

you would feel the same

to have to wonder

makes me feel ashamed

you only seem to want me

when its good for you

I always wait here alone

if you only knew

I drive myself insane

everytime your away

the laughter that I let out

is just a game I play

There are times

you make me feel so upset

that I sit here and cry

my face all wet

but you'll never know

I will never say

what I feel

or that you affect me this way

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