Pain/Sorrow

My Grandfather

Thoughts of him flow out of my mind

I think to my self wondering why

My grandpa was the one and only

He was the only one there, to keep me from being lonely

At night, I still lie awake as my soul weeps

he told me my heart was always for his keeps

Missing him makes things worse

Tears wont make it any better

Crying softly as i write him an eternal letter,

Who ever says the gone cannot listen to the shallow whispersof a child is wrong

It seems as if my grandfather has been gone for so long

I dream about him often, it seems to bring reality closer to me

My beautiful grandma, his wife Took a llife long haltering strife

People often say the pain will go away

But I'm beginning to think things will never be okay

I cant dwell

I cant Sob

But he is a part of me

Deep with in his loving immortal heart.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This one is about my grandfather, he died when I was 13 I miss him so much, I cant really ever put into words how much he meant to me, Recently I just lost my grandmother, after he got sick... she just went down hill and obviously found it difficult to leave with his departure in life

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Inside I am crying

Folder: 
Hard Times

Inside I am crying,

The tears that don’t show

The reasons for crying,

I never will know



Inside I am crying

Yet you don’t have a clue

This crying inside me,

I always seem to do



Inside I am crying

What happened to tears?

They used to show feelings,

My thoughts and my fears



Inside I am crying

Through the smile you see

The tears all inside,

Is just part of me



Inside I am crying,

The pain all inside

My problems all hidden,

With the tears that I hide…

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Decomposed Garden

here

i am back now

in this silent garden

of sunset and deep shadow

growing on shrubs and trees

this garden with its sorrow

pruned back into defoliation



oh yes you know this place:

this garden with its narrow

paths cobbled with memory's

pebbles of deflowering



i rest my body in green ferns

my tired feet

my aching limbs

my pounding pulse

slowly becoming fertile soil

yes: this body sheds its sheen

its whispering voile

its fingerprints



this yearning heart

turns into a shooting star

forgetting its wishes



(a body

trampling on yellow gazanias



a soul

caging the Sun

within a disembodied rainbow)



myra

2002


Author's Notes/Comments: 

Sorrowful Soul

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I FLY FOR YOU



even not the lark

nor the eagle had flown

i soar in a space

untrodden

i flung and swayed

chasing the bluest wind

i could see your

horizon

almost…



you –

remain distant

far from reach

away



you –

covered my brightness

with a dismal cloud

you –

crippled me

almost...



and this bird had flown

in winged anguish

never to return.



i had promised.










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You Did the Right Thing

Folder: 
1-Loss

When you told me what you did

my whole body was filled with rage.

But by the time that moment hit,

I'd already turned the page.          

We had something nice that lasted quite a while.

Then I lost my mind and you lost your style.

And something finally broke the string.    

You did the right thing.          



I thought you were wrong                      

because I was brought up to think that way.

But the way I was brought up

is far from the way I act today.

If you hadn't done it                                      

things would have been so complicated.

It was smart to act quickly              

when it would have been easy to have waited.

I know that sometimes love can really sting.

You did the right thing.



I think of you sometimes

and wonder what if it didn't end like that.

There were just too many things      

that caused our love to go flat.

Neither one of us was lucky.                      

Neither one was too mature.

Neither one of us was very good at love,

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Barely A Flesh Wound

Folder: 
1-Loss

I liked the feeling, but then it ended.          

We were so true, but we pretended

it was all perfect. Guess that was a lie.                

And now it's time for us to say good bye.

Thought it might tear my world all apart.            

But it's barely a flesh wound on my heart.            



It's all over, but I can still smile.                      

I knew it'd only last for a little while.

I don't regret it, but I don't feel bad.      

I can think back on the good times that we had.

I've turned being hurt by love into an art.

That's why you're barely a flesh wound on my heart.



You were a thinker. And you were deep.

I've become careful with the company I keep.

You were cute, and you were fair.                

But I've become to far removed to really care.

You were open, and you were smart.                

But still you're barely a flesh wound on my heart.



To my surprise, I couldn't cry.                  

Nothing came out, no matter how hard I'd try.

What's more amazing, it doesn't hurt.        

I guess nowadays I keep my emotions on alert.

I should feel something, but I don't know where to start.

Because it's barely a flesh wound on my heart.

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Cry Your Secrets in the Nighttime

Don't cry my little love bird

tears are only for the night

when the shadows hide our secrets

when the moon casts down its light

Underneath the cover of dark

no one is around to hear

the things that cause you pain

the things that cause you fear

until then my little love bird

hide them under broken wings

let your secret not be known

we dont talk about such things

In the daylight show your smile

hide behind the light of the sun

cry your tears at night

tell your secret to no one

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CRADDLE UNDERNEATH

Folder: 
2002 Poetry

deep in the abyss

a weep muffled

can’t be heard

felt or cuddled

you were hurled

down the hollow

alone and forlorn

there was nothing

you can do

there was no one

to save you

little spirit

deprived of blithe

you were supposed

to be here

to be among

the dear

to be babbly

and sanguine

but now that is

all a delusion

as here you are

lying underneath

disposed very quick

howl no more

my little one

my wings

will fly you

to the up above

and there

you will have

the one thing

you miss to have

she that’s supposed

to give you this

is now confined

in a hellish place

called  regret

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Feelings Vanish

Folder: 
1-Loss

I think back to someone I loved a long time ago.

What's she doing now? I don't even know.

I think back in time to how much love we felt.

But feelings vanish.

I guess it's normal that feelings vanish.



I've felt joy, felt sadness, felt hatred, and sometimes felt trust.

Felt stupid, felt good, felt love, and of course, felt lust.

Felt just about every way you could ever possibly feel.

But feelings vanish.

No matter what they are the feelings vanish.



But you said your love for me would never die.

You said we'd be together forever, you and I.

You said you never felt anything so strong, so long.

But feelings vanish.

I don't know how but all those feelings vanish.



You broke my heart and I never have hurt this bad.

Feel like I've lost everything I've ever had.

Feel like I won't even make it through the day, today.

But feelings vanish.

I pray to God these feelings vanish.

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