Thoughts of him flow out of my mind
I think to my self wondering why
My grandpa was the one and only
He was the only one there, to keep me from being lonely
At night, I still lie awake as my soul weeps
he told me my heart was always for his keeps
Missing him makes things worse
Tears wont make it any better
Crying softly as i write him an eternal letter,
Who ever says the gone cannot listen to the shallow whispersof a child is wrong
It seems as if my grandfather has been gone for so long
I dream about him often, it seems to bring reality closer to me
My beautiful grandma, his wife Took a llife long haltering strife
People often say the pain will go away
But I'm beginning to think things will never be okay
I cant dwell
I cant Sob
But he is a part of me
Deep with in his loving immortal heart.
Inside I am crying,
The tears that don’t show
The reasons for crying,
I never will know
Inside I am crying
Yet you don’t have a clue
This crying inside me,
I always seem to do
Inside I am crying
What happened to tears?
They used to show feelings,
My thoughts and my fears
Inside I am crying
Through the smile you see
The tears all inside,
Is just part of me
Inside I am crying,
The pain all inside
My problems all hidden,
With the tears that I hide…
here
i am back now
in this silent garden
of sunset and deep shadow
growing on shrubs and trees
this garden with its sorrow
pruned back into defoliation
oh yes you know this place:
this garden with its narrow
paths cobbled with memory's
pebbles of deflowering
i rest my body in green ferns
my tired feet
my aching limbs
my pounding pulse
slowly becoming fertile soil
yes: this body sheds its sheen
its whispering voile
its fingerprints
this yearning heart
turns into a shooting star
forgetting its wishes
(a body
trampling on yellow gazanias
a soul
caging the Sun
within a disembodied rainbow)
myra
2002
even not the lark
nor the eagle had flown
i soar in a space
untrodden
i flung and swayed
chasing the bluest wind
i could see your
horizon
almost…
you –
remain distant
far from reach
away
you –
covered my brightness
with a dismal cloud
you –
crippled me
almost...
and this bird had flown
in winged anguish
never to return.
i had promised.
When you told me what you did
my whole body was filled with rage.
But by the time that moment hit,
I'd already turned the page.
We had something nice that lasted quite a while.
Then I lost my mind and you lost your style.
And something finally broke the string.
You did the right thing.
I thought you were wrong
because I was brought up to think that way.
But the way I was brought up
is far from the way I act today.
If you hadn't done it
things would have been so complicated.
It was smart to act quickly
when it would have been easy to have waited.
I know that sometimes love can really sting.
You did the right thing.
I think of you sometimes
and wonder what if it didn't end like that.
There were just too many things
that caused our love to go flat.
Neither one of us was lucky.
Neither one was too mature.
Neither one of us was very good at love,
I liked the feeling, but then it ended.
We were so true, but we pretended
it was all perfect. Guess that was a lie.
And now it's time for us to say good bye.
Thought it might tear my world all apart.
But it's barely a flesh wound on my heart.
It's all over, but I can still smile.
I knew it'd only last for a little while.
I don't regret it, but I don't feel bad.
I can think back on the good times that we had.
I've turned being hurt by love into an art.
That's why you're barely a flesh wound on my heart.
You were a thinker. And you were deep.
I've become careful with the company I keep.
You were cute, and you were fair.
But I've become to far removed to really care.
You were open, and you were smart.
But still you're barely a flesh wound on my heart.
To my surprise, I couldn't cry.
Nothing came out, no matter how hard I'd try.
What's more amazing, it doesn't hurt.
I guess nowadays I keep my emotions on alert.
I should feel something, but I don't know where to start.
Because it's barely a flesh wound on my heart.
Don't cry my little love bird
tears are only for the night
when the shadows hide our secrets
when the moon casts down its light
Underneath the cover of dark
no one is around to hear
the things that cause you pain
the things that cause you fear
until then my little love bird
hide them under broken wings
let your secret not be known
we dont talk about such things
In the daylight show your smile
hide behind the light of the sun
cry your tears at night
tell your secret to no one
deep in the abyss
a weep muffled
can’t be heard
felt or cuddled
you were hurled
down the hollow
alone and forlorn
there was nothing
you can do
there was no one
to save you
little spirit
deprived of blithe
you were supposed
to be here
to be among
the dear
to be babbly
and sanguine
but now that is
all a delusion
as here you are
lying underneath
disposed very quick
howl no more
my little one
my wings
will fly you
to the up above
and there
you will have
the one thing
you miss to have
she that’s supposed
to give you this
is now confined
in a hellish place
called regret
I think back to someone I loved a long time ago.
What's she doing now? I don't even know.
I think back in time to how much love we felt.
But feelings vanish.
I guess it's normal that feelings vanish.
I've felt joy, felt sadness, felt hatred, and sometimes felt trust.
Felt stupid, felt good, felt love, and of course, felt lust.
Felt just about every way you could ever possibly feel.
But feelings vanish.
No matter what they are the feelings vanish.
But you said your love for me would never die.
You said we'd be together forever, you and I.
You said you never felt anything so strong, so long.
But feelings vanish.
I don't know how but all those feelings vanish.
You broke my heart and I never have hurt this bad.
Feel like I've lost everything I've ever had.
Feel like I won't even make it through the day, today.
But feelings vanish.
I pray to God these feelings vanish.