I thought I understood him

I thought that I understood what he was going through, but we all handle it differently. I mean, I understand that he's hurting, but I only just realized that he's giving up more and more of himself every day... And I'm scared, I'm scared that one day, he'll be gone for good, and I don't know where he's going after that. He did exactly what I did... He blamed God, and I've been praying and praying for God to show himself to him, even just a glimpse, so that I won't have to see him hurting anymore... He's starting to realize how the world works... It's problems, it's judgement, it's hurt and pain... All I want is for him to be happy again, and that'll be enough for me, then I can be happy again, but until then, I'll fight off the demons with my sword and my shield, and my prayer... He would be able to pray with me in the mornings, he could actually start a fire in my soul and build my weak faith, because the Lord knows that I need the help, "Woe to you, with little faith". God knows that I'm alone right now, and that I need another candle to reignite me, because even he knows that we need to be together in two's, why else would he ask for that when he gathered the twelve and sent them two by two? But right now, he's trapped in the grave with his grandfather, and he doesn't care that there's no oxygen, he doesn't care how uncomfortable he is, and he doesn't know how much it's killing me to watch him kill himself like that, to watch the boy who is like- no, IS a brother to me, act like he's happily resting in the grave, when I know that he's chained to his grandfather by an emotional chain that is his embrace that's harder to cut than Hercules string of life and it shoots through his heart right into mine... He loves him and doesn't want to let him go, and I want him to know that me and God love them both, and we wish that he would just understand the depths of our love, that's all I ask, is that he would let go of the hurt, and embrace the light that I want to give him. If God can bring Lazarus back in perfect condition, then he can bring my friend back too... I hear God say it every time I talk to him every morning at the pole and every night before bed, "let him come to me, bring him to me, for he is weary and needs rest, and I know that you and I miss him" as he wipes the tears that I cry for him nightly off my chin and cheek when I rest at my Fathers feet.

Please, come back to us. I miss you, we all miss you... With God's love, God bless.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

For that friend... Brother from before

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For the B-Day boy

Happy birthday, December third. My birthday wishes for you, is that even though these are the cold months, you remain a warm light, a candle for the lost. I wish that you'd make your sixteenth year on this earth your best one for yourself and others thus-far. I wish that you don't forget who you were, and that you keep striving for who you are and who you want to be. I wish that time will soften its blow, so we can keep watching you grow up, getting wiser as we wean from our childish pasts. I wish that that smirk, that little smile, would never leave you, and that you will always put the mask down and laugh and play as yourself, and never put that mask back on. I wish that you will always hold on, hold on to the memories and feelings that you had, memories of the late-night drives with your grandfather, memories of your mom's birthday when we took her to McNaldos, memories of playing as children at the park with the other kids, memories of when we first went out to the civic theater, memories of going to skate mania, memories of... Just not having a care in the world, "Super-Granny!!!", and there are so many more, the good and the bad, that describe who you are. I wish that you will do whatever it takes to be happy, that you'd try new things, and that you always hope for the best. I wish that you will be ok, and that if I have to leave, that you will be peacefully living on without me. I wish that if anything painful were to happen to us, any of us, that you will be ok, and keep smiling. I promise you now, that whatever happens in the years ahead, that I will never forget you and all that you have done for me, I will always hear your voice guiding me and telling me what I should do, and I wish that you'll never forget about me, because I love you. I love you, you're the best brother that I could ever ask for. 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Dedicated to an important person in my life, he's still my brother to me

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It creates a story in me...

With your satiny hairs,

You amble without a normal foot.

But with a pristine look,

Your big eyes shines luminously.

Dear, Maybe people call you a handicap,

I call those bullocks a madcap.

Interestingly, what, I am a handicap mentally, here I reveal.

Everyday I fight inside the close door when night falls.

A few days ago your eyes have cried a lot,

Let me clear here, you are a daring person.

It gives me a reason to fight with his servants openly.

You are a bizarre, I don't know you Monica Sharma.

Though we did not shook our hands at all,

But whenever these eyes squints you,

A new story creates a History...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Its very weird we do not know each other but still can relate my past with you and your name itself was a blow to me. This write is not for sympathy but my respect towards you of what you are. Though you are not different but extraordinarily different in your swag.

Kisi apne ki yaad dilati hain aap..

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My Friend

He was and is my friend,

Jewel is his moniker,

He is literally a jewel,

I keep him in mind ever!


Even if physically far away he is,

He is so near in my memory,

I hardly had such an amazing soul!

A person of compassion, trust and humanity.


I am blessed to have a pal like him,

In my ocean of memories, he does swim!

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A True Friend is Hard to Find

A true friend is hard to find,

Harder than climbing the Mount Everest!

Since like the snakes the alleged pals harm,

One real friend can make us feel best!


Many a time the fake buddies,

Have entered my life as butterflies,

And left as Iago and Mir Jafar,

Incarnation of duplicity and lies!


Life is not as easy as milkshake!


The decisions we must warily make!

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If you're going to make a diss and call it poetry then at least rhyme.

Everything you just said was a lie. Maybe it's time I take you on a ride.

You used to confide in me but now I'm going to drown you in a sea with words.

A hateful stare is the last thing you'll see.

You're fucking Eighteen and to be discreet.

No one treats you as a queen because you're mean.

Anger consuming me.

My skins turning green.

That's why I'm here. Or there. Fuck it. Im everywhere.

After this I guarantee you'll be scared.  

You work at a Christian school. You don't even
Believe in religion you fucking fool. Hypocrite.

You're fucking desperate but to every boy you've dated you've been treated as a tool.

You're always so inconsiderate. Say I'm full of bullshit.

Calm down hunny don't throw a fit. You don't want to get hit.

Just kidding. I don't hit girls but I will spit.

I think it's time I turn this shit lit and display my wit.  

So where you at kinz. You still wanting that Mercedes benz.

Got this hand full of pens.

About to write about this hinge.

Holding my hand.

You were wearing that rubber band.
Told my friend that we should start a band.

Pretended to care but you lied to me and I got canned.

Rammed my fist in a wall. I was 5 feet tall.

A Mirror in the hall
Ugly and I wanted to crawl
Away from the pain. Please call

No. not my number. My step dad will pin me to a wall
You made me fall. Im down.
Meanwhile you’re downtown
Shopping in the mall.

With your boyfriend Michael
Who would treat you like goddess
But you’re like a narwhal
Majestic but Sadistic

Sick cause I still think you’re fantastic
Unfathomable how your feelings are like plastic
Bombastic. You’re magic is drastic
But you’re so fucking sarcastic

Elastic. Color guard and gymnastic
Tragic how you lied but you’re so enthusiastic
Scholastic. Not the best grades but I am so onomastic
Let me tell you what you’re name means

I’m not writing this to be mean. You’re the favored one
Theres only a few I could say that I loved a ton
We had so much fun. 6 years hun.
Everything you said seemed like a pun

Funny but Meaningful
Like a bunny you jump around
but you hop to one guy to the next
You lie when you say Michael hit you around. He never raped you. He never abused you. Do you understand this context?

I hope this has weighed a thousand pounds
I can feel your heart break
every time you feel like you’ve found the one
But you started when you were young

Like a nun.
But not loyal to the big one.
You will find none

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"The coffee shop,

where in the middle of the block,

it had started;

where they met.


Their headquarters,

where they rested

over iced drinks

after a long skate.


Old friends,

young men,

two, not the same blood

or kin


shake hands 

and embrace the others grin,

a tight squeeze

given to each. 



such a tight bond

with so little time,

sealed the deal


of interlocking


adventures and shared 



Escaping near death,

falling off boards onto wrists,

downhill descent

screaming past parked cars,


wherein that itself

is a rare occurance

when once was daily.

Temperature varied,


as did the places they'd

hunker down,


stopping to have a drink.


Seperated by little,

attached at the hip,

it seemed. Until

life happened,


having sent the older 

away for summmer,

the younger away for the rest,

testing himself and his brain.


Drumming away,

marching on by,

the two had lives 

blur on by, 


spiraling in different directions,

story arcs and sidequests,

conquests coloring the night,

but by and by, 


when guest apperances

would transpire,

everything dropped

to meet one another,


the bond was made stronger

with the short time

it had to cure.

Not to say


neither were lost,

but both stepped in confidence.

Always looking ahead,

but once they were together,



to each love was gave.

Brotherly love,

concrete waves."

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Always good to see an old friend you rarely talk to, but as soon as you're together you're as close as ever.


Simple Thoughts

"A visit at my table, 

a very welcome visitor,

has a cup of coffee

set down,


but not before

the friend has seated herself

does the surface 

of the brew spill over,


splashing quietly 

as as she bumps the table with her knee.

Such a detail,

the dark, dark liquid


spread across the light brown

wood of where I write,

threatening to soil

the art being drawn.


The spillings

of the latest happenings,

the earnest devouring

of each others stories


lead to reading,

of depicting the next best thing

in lives still be finished,

download in progress.


A spiral

from one image to the next

from the warm-lit coffee shop

to digital acquisition.


Like this poem,

the conversation goes,

topics spiraling.

Not out of control,


but wildly different

in varient,

from the new job

made of dreams


to the steaming progress

of artwork creativity.


the visitor stirring


with silent smiles

and sparkling eyes,

asking how and why

my poetry winds


into art so quickly,

but my answer is clumsy,

the failing of conveying

a real reason


for words written.

Awkward in handling it,

and unable still

to write out the soul


in one sentence,



book, even. 


So let's write three,

I tell her,

and glee is sounded,

rounding back to her departure,


bumping coffee again.

But it's wiped away,

no evidence

of the one who sat across.


Nothing lost.

Meaning, rather.

No theme,

but a underlying feeling." 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

When someone gets more excited about you're work than you do, you should:

- keep writing

- get more excited about your own writing

- question why you're not already.


Don't be scared to be hyped about your own art!

A Wonderful Friend

A wonderful friend she has been,

I call her ‘safety pin’,

Since she saves me ever,

From all that is weird and bizarre!


When I achieve something outstanding,

Her heart starts to sing,

She does not express her feelings though,

In my heart I know.


She is like the rainbow,


Whose lone work is to make me glow!

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