boyfriend

Why I Love You

Folder: 
2011

How do I love thee?
There are too many ways
To sit here and count
So I’ll just write a few reasons

I love you because of
How sweet you are
How considerate you are
And for your patients

Yes your patients
Of dealing with me
Brain injury and all
Even though I may forget

The little things like
When your birthday is
I don’t forget you
Or anything like that

I love you, Master
For forever and a day
And that I will serve you
As long as I live

~Chrystal
Written on
November 25, 2011

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was written for Tom ___. I may soon be able to put his last name here. So I will go through and change all these poems. Until then, you have to deal with it. :P

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Doubt?

Folder: 
2011

Why did I doubt you?
Why did I think u were
Going the other way?

I really don’t know
All I really know is
How good it felt to
Hear that we were even

For my whoring ways
To you being with her

Now if we can get dad
To like you, even a small bit
Then we can officially
Be one, without a
Third wheel

I would seriously like that
To go public with our relationship
That will be the first move
Then later on down the line
We can start seriously
Talking about marriage

I would like that more
Than I can put into words
So I’ll just end this poem
On the note that I love Tom

~Chrystal
Written on
November 1, 2011

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was written about Tom ___. All about our relatsonship, about where we are, and where we are going to be.

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Love

They say fairy tales aren't real.
But we don't need Peter when we've got a Neverland of our own.
Just you and me and the Patriots throw that someone tossed us
an insignificant number of minutes ago.
We sit shoulder to shoulder, arms pressed tight against each other
and feet awkwardly brushing on the chair we keep them propped up on.
But I don't mind awkward touches, because at least their touches at all.
You've stolen my phone, again,
and I play with your slender fingers as you use your bad hand
to try and decode my password, drawn in by the secrets I could have.
You use your bad hand, because your good hand and my good hand are playing.
We don't think much of it when my curled up figure gently leans onto you,
head finding its way against your shoulder.
Our hands linger together just a moment longer than an innocent accident would have allowed
and I pretend it doesn't give me butterflies to be nestled in so close to you.
Your deep voice whispers into the top of my head and I close my eyes,
longing to be here forever.
Because in these moments,
these insignificant number of minutes,
it doesn't matter that we're not in love, it doesn't matter that we could be.
In these moments we are in love,
even if only for these moments.
Even if when the bell tolls ten o'clock and your mother has come down,
offering me a ride home,
we're time warped back
from Neverland
to reality.
Just two friends,
wishing they were in love.

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What Was I Thinking?

Folder: 
2011

I have had all these
Naysayers telling me
That you were no good
That I should just set you free

And I have always said
To each and every one of them
That they were wrong
That they didn’t know him

But here it is a fucking week
Has passed and no word
Not from you, and now
I am starting to think how absurd

How dumb was I to think
That you would leave her
And come back to me; well the love
Is still here but beginning to wither

Now I am feeling like a dumb ass
For believing what we had was real
Its getting to a point where my feelings,
Back from you, I have to steal

I think that in a few more days
I’m gonna have to leave you
Right where you wanted to be
Yea, with her, you know its true

Now, I’m starting to think
What’s wrong with me
But I know in reality
Its what’s wrong with you, can’t you see?

You hurt me, you have been causing
This pain, ever since you started
Seeing her without asking me first
But can’t you see, that’s where we parted

No, not at first but as of now
You are going to have a lot
Of ass kissing to get me to come back
Because you have me in a hell of a spot

~Chrystal
Written on
October 26, 2011

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This, again, was another poem about Tom ___. I hate to say it, but you were all right. I should have just droped him in the first place. I know I shouldn't give him more time, but I will. Just because he's got 'me in a hell of a spot.' So I will give him more time, but even I dont think I should, but I will.

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I Will Be Heard

Folder: 
2011

You can ignore me
You can ‘lose’ your phone
You can do anything you wish
But I will be heard

Even if it comes down to
Us not talking anymore
You may get silence from me
But I will be heard

Because I know that
My silence will tell you
I am not taking your shit
So I will be heard

You may work seven days a week
But I have never felt like this
You and I both know in the end
I will be heard

Even if you leave me for her
That is quite all right because
In the end of it all
I will be heard

Let this poem show you
Exactly how I feel
Because the title says it all
I will be heard

~Chrystal
Written on
October 24, 2011

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this to Tom ___, because today he got me so angry. I have been tolerent of 'his toy' for a few weeks now, maybe even a month. Until now, I have never felt like I was being used. The last couple of days have showed me otherwise. I am just quite angry at this whole situation, because I know it is moving to where Tom ___ and I can be together, publicly, and It doesn't seem to me that, that is what he wants. I'm sure you can tell by how I am filling this out, how angry I am. The title came from the song from Hatebreed, same song title as this poems title.

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Your Toy

Folder: 
2011

Did you know that I am so
Very sorry that we met,
I wouldn’t have a thing that
I was addicted to,

But I did, do I want a change?
I think not; I wouldn’t want
It any way than it is already
Because I just love you

The way you are
I wouldn’t change anything
About you or the situation
We are currently in

That is how much I love you
Letting you keep her as a ‘toy’
Because you seem to want that
So that you will have

I wont let you know how much
This hurts me, cant you see it,
Right behind this fake ass smile
You want her, so you shall have her

But I cannot have it where
You leave me for her I just cannot
It would be like Gallagher
Smashing a watermelon

But instead of a watermelon
It will be my heart
Shattered into so many pieces
And I’ll just leave them

Exactly where they lay
So every time you come around
(Will you come around?)
You will see the hurt and pain

But that time isn’t now
For now I will have you
Right when I can have you
And we won’t even talk about her

~Chrystal
Written on
October 16, 2011

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was written about Tom ___. I know I have yet to post his last name because of her. There will probably end up being a time when I go back and edit these poems, but for now I'll just leave it be.

Planetary Collision

Folder: 
2011

I was so bottled up inside
With all my feelings
And all my emotions

I could not find
Anyone to whom I
Could confide

Then I met you,
The feelings you gave me
It was so amazing

It was like all the
Planets took that moment,
To decide it was time

To collide and I became,
As that very moment,
Something more than I was

Now I can never look back
At who I was before because
I don’t like what I see

But I will become
Something a lot more
Than I ever was

And that’s all because
Of you, so I will become
Something so much better

And this is all
Because of you
The one I cant deny

~Chrystal
Written on
October 6, 2011

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is another one about Tom ___. Eventually Ill be able to put his last name in, but I cannot do that now because his name is too unique.

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I Just Knew

Folder: 
2011

How did I know
That our fates
Were to be intertwined?

How did I know
That you were the one
That I was supposed
To be with

Was it your smile?
Your laugh?
The way you talked?

Or was it your cuteness?
Maybe it was how
Considerate you are?

I could write a list
That is a hundred
Pages long, but it
All comes down
To one simple thing
And that thing would be

I just knew

~Chrystal
Written on
October 6, 2011

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This one was about Tom ___. I got the title and the idea from the song, Kelli Coffey - I Just Knew.

I Would

Folder: 
2011

What would I do for you?
The proper question is,
What wouldn’t I do for you?
Because I know in the end,
That being with you is bliss

I would gladly freeze for you
Just because I know that
You will warm me up
Wrap me in your arms,
Causing my temp to go up, stat

I would gladly starve for you
I would simply dine on your love,
Because I know your love
Is like manna sent,
From the heavens above

I would gladly go thirsty for you
And that would be
Because I know you will
Cut yourself make yourself bleed,
So I could drink, you see

State anything you wish
And I will tell you how
He would make it better
Because his love for me,
Is just like “Wow”

~Chrystal
Written on
October 2, 2011

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was written to my "boyfriend" Tom ___. This was written just before I met up with him last. These are the things I would gladly do for him, however I dont rightly believe theres a point. But I still would.

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