I thought of
what skills
I need
to be a good poet?
Is it truth, or words?
Which one shall I breed?
All that matters
is that I’m trying,
to make
your blind eyes read.
I have tried my best,
To be indifferent,
But I can never be,
As it is not my commitment.
When I see the poor,
My heart bleeds,
As Christ on the cross,
I despise the misdeeds.
Equity and peace must prevail,
To humanity my heart does sail.
Like that feisty spider,
I will try on and on,
Until I become the winner,
Unless my depression like magic is gone!
I will act like Hercules,
And Robert Bruce as well,
And like Beowulf I will make the evil cease!
Through uphill struggle not through any spell!
I am hungry for your well wishes too,
Without which I cannot reach the target, you know!
October.15.2004
Trisha Barrek Hopkins
I wish I was stronger
But no matter how hard I try
My wishlist not to igsist just gets longer
More and more I'm left alone to cry
In the late hours of the night
Deep inside no one sees the pain
That I try so hard to fight
The only way to go on is to fill my eyes
With these salty tears
But all I really gain
A blurred vision when I look to the light
Can God not see
I'm so tired and sick of feeling so alone
I guess not because he just lets me be
And eachday my heart becomes more hollow inside
It becomes all stone
This path of pain I am meant to follow
From it I can not hide
And deeper I go into this evil shadow
Because no man shows they care
I just do not want to feel anymore
I have no strength to fight
The demons that drag me to the floor
The pain and hurt inside my heart
They try to store
It's trying so hard to make me die
And some days I wish I would
I no longer want to try
Yes I know I still should
But everyday a piece of me disappears
And is gone forever
I try to scream out"help" to someone
But it seems like no one hears
And the light is fading from the sun
This evil has put a spell on peoples ears
No one hears my helping plea
This evil has made people blind
So no one can see me
Try to fight as I try to find
A way to stop these wounds
So they no longer bleed
But the evil trys so hard
To make me fail
On my pain he loves to feed
I am becoming too weak to go on
But no one will help with the fight
So I should just give up and die
Just disappear fade out sight
As I sit alone and powerless as I cry
As my soul drifts away
From my body it once knew
No longer fighting another day
My days are bitter darkness
No longer a happy clear blue sky
My lifes such a mess
I gave up I try no longer to live
This evil my soul I give
I just sit here in emptiness
I wait to die
I sit and watch my life pass me
As I hear my last word spoken
It's loud and clear
I'm not in any fear
I'm fine as I can be
To say my good-bye
The evil keeps my pain as a token
The tear I cry
My heart is so broken
And I no longer know the word
Or the meaning of the fight
I don't even try
To keep my soul in my sight
Copyright
day by day we make our way....
thru this hell on earth....
we stumble and fall....
but thru it all....
we work towards an end...
a way to make a better day for the ones we love....
in hopes that they will do the same until we make our way above....
I wouldn't cook, you couldn't cook, But i did so much
Not a perfect little wifey to a less perfect Man..
Boy?
Please, Miss me with the guilt trip.
I did everything til i couldn't do anymore.
Once you got comfortable your heart walked out the door.
I cheated, admitted it, no questions asked
you could've left then...probably should've left then
but you made the choice to stay.
You said you were all in but you let time waste away.
You wanted a wife without the title, A mother without the teet.
Still yet you weren't ready to sweep a woman off of her feet.
Anger consumed you and your negativity consumed me
I set you free, but couldn't be free.
No not until you found someone to replace me.
The ball and change disappeared as soon as she appeared.
My mind now convinced i left a good thing.
Obsessed, why her?
why not me?
packed your negativity and threw it away, L.et her tell you we couldn't be friends.
for some strange reason i couldn't let you go.
got you back and just like that your negativity returned
Reminding me of my lesson learned.
I had to call it quits again.
I was here but you were there mentally so there was no physical relationship between us.
between fus after fus after bloody throat yelling.
I quit. Again. For the second time.
Your actions showed me.. you didn't want me because after i quit you did WHAT AND WHO you wanted.
so i move on but i remain stuck.
Tried dating had no luck.
You asked me til i asked you.
Our solo selves then became two...
Again.
This time it was going to work.
I got you here got you to work.
Got us together
but this time we would keep our minds together so our bodies wouldn't stray.
Your negativity began to show day after day.
The dumb things i did before annoyed you after.
Rolled eyes and shaken heads replaced your laughter.
I'm a joke now but not a funny one.
No longer together but co existing.
I was seeing what i was missing but i wanted that with you.
you frown.
Always a damn frown, yell, or cold shoulder.
No more i said, and no more i say.
Standing my ground made a vow to stay.
Sex came around, thought you came around.
But nope, the physical was still inferior to your mental.
"i'm trying to like you" truer words never spoken.
Trying to reinforece a bond thats been broken.
I QUIT.
Posted a private status as a last resort
still the cold shoulder
but a bonus "unfriend" to go with it
Everytime i say what i want you dismiss it.
Damn I can't even care anymore.
it hurts me to care anymore.
You got what you need so fuck what i want.
i'm Lonely as hell yet you're right there.
YOU DON'T CARE.
You're mad, well dammit I'M MAD
But just go ahead, blankly stare at the computer screen acting as if you don't hear me.
Don't even come near me.
But before you get what you want , you will have to aknowledge me.
Won't ask for an apology.
but you will ask for whatever you need from me because from now on...
I'm done trying