relationship

Tomorrow

Folder: 
2017

Yesterday I was haunted by you,

your careless laughter to cover everything,

every step you took in front of me

blind, without looking back.

 

Now I sit here wondering

why you decided to look

at me this way.

 

Now I sit here wondering

how your hands hold this well,

even more than they were made to do.

 

Now I sit here wondering

about all the gems of good in you

and how you overlook them.

 

Now I sit here thinking

that tomorrow when I miss you

you will deserve it.

 

Now I sit here wondering

how I got this lucky.

 

I know you don’t always want me to fall.

But tomorrow I will deserve to miss you.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 7/9/17

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Worth

Folder: 
2017

Your worth comes in waves,

you are a constant and then a firework.

Red

green

gold

never the same view for too long

and I can’t take my eyes off you.

 

I don’t have the air

to breathe what I thought I needed to say.

I will say it when you are stumbling

and can’t find my love.

My gaze won’t linger,

it will lock in place

and I will spend five lifetimes in half a moment

as close as I can get to you.

 

Behind my eyes

you are sometimes taken for granted.

Maybe it’s because

you are the one thing I thought I could never call home.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 7/6/17

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Heart of Gold

Folder: 
2017

I do not have a heart of gold.

 

I am holding these ashes,

the ones I think you could love,

breathing until I know I’m rusted

and they are there before they scatter.

 

I do not have a death grip.

 

I am holding your lifeline,

I need to give it back

but all I want is to hold it closer,

make you happier than I remember ever being,

make sure you never drown.

 

I will never have a heart of gold.

 

Sometimes I wish I did

so I could say your name without it breaking.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 6/30/17

Favorite Untitled

Folder: 
2017

You are my favorite spot in the world.

You are my favorite place to dream.

 

You have my weight on your shoulders,

my world in your eyes.

You can write my fears without asking.

 

All the things inside my head

will not show up in these words.

This is the kind of fire you have to touch.

 

You know,

I try so hard to answer you

but I can’t use a pen

to show you how you make me feel.

So when I don’t know what words to use

 

you are my favorite untitled.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 6/29/17

Awake

Folder: 
2017

I fell asleep yesterday,

I remember you were the first thing I missed.

 

I fell asleep yesterday,

I remember turning over to the ghost of your outline.

 

I fell asleep yesterday,

I was gone to the world and my dreams still carried you.

 

My limbs fall silent

when you’re in my arms

In comas with you

I am more alive to the world

than in comas without you.

 

Your lips meet mine

and now I am awake.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 6/27/17

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Better Off

Folder: 
2017

I don’t know who I am but I don’t like it.

I always feel like I should be more of one thing

And less of another.

 

I know that nobody is perfect,

But that doesn’t mean I’m going to

Settle for anything less.

 

Sometimes it gets to be too much,

And every now and then I wonder

What the barrel of a gun would taste like.

 

I wonder if anyone would miss me if I was gone

Or would the world be better off

Without me in it.

 

The world will keep turning

Regardless of if I’m here or not.

So what difference does it make?

 

Sad people smile the brightest

Because they don’t want others to see

The tears that fall when no one is around.

 

Lonely people love the strongest

Because they know the pain of being alone

And don’t want others to feel it.

 

People with broken hearts spend their time fixing others

Because it’s easier to help find the pieces

When they aren’t yours.

 

I don’t like the way that I feel

Insecure

Like I need to be validated.

 

I wish I could say I am content with who I am,

But I will always be finding the flaws

Trying to be a better me.

 

I spend too much time

Thinking about what I would rather be

Than appreciating who I am.

 

The hardest person to love is yourself

But I will try

For you.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 5/30/17

Owe

Folder: 
2017

There are things I will never get tired of

like hearing your half-asleep voice,

my arms around you,

as close as I can get but too far away.

I want to linger here until it feels like staying.

 

I will hope you have a smooth road

or that you can step over the rocks.

I will pick up the pieces that fall from your pockets

when your head is too heavy to bend.

I will love you however I can,

however this lasts,

maybe it will.

 

We are trying.

We owe it to ourselves.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 6/20/17

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Feel

Folder: 
2017

When you touch me I am separating

what I know and what I feel,

the logic has crawled to the corner

and slipped out the door.

 

In my head you are the only thing

I will hold like this when you say my name,

your lips on mine and the whisper of it sounds

almost more beautiful than you.

 

You play me so my skin melts and erupts,

I shiver and I’m paralyzed,

my heart breaks and mends,

I evaporate to hold you tighter.

 

Kiss me like you’re never leaving,

like this is your last day.

I will hold you until I can’t believe you’re mine.

I will swallow you like oxygen is optional.

 

Touch me where you know I’m waiting,

I will exhale the places anyway

even when I can’t catch my breath,

everywhere I surrender to your fingertips.

 

I shiver and I fold into your storm,

I can hear your heartbeat

like the best background,

I want to be part of this song.

 

Love me so I’m breathing you in,

touch me like that, pull me to the point

where I can’t turn back even if I wanted to,

I never want to I am falling I am flying.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 6/20/17

With You

Folder: 
2017

I miss you here with me.

I see the world through your eyes

and it’s magnified.

 

I can face the dragons

when I’m drowning in a pure blue sky,

I can turn this heart to the wind

if it will stay below the clouds.

 

This landscape is soaked in your sound,

these afternoons smell like you.

 

I can walk off a cliff and love every minute,

hit the ground saying your name

or the view here with you will have me by the throat

so I can barely breathe.

Maybe both.

 

I miss you here with me.

I see the world by your side

 

and it’s so much prettier.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 6/14/17

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