May Bala At Baril (In Filipino/Tagalog Language)
Droga ang laro
Ang kalakalan namin
Bawal ang baril—
Caught In-between Toxic Thoughts
Please don't fade away
the Color of jet-black shirts
Tumbling through washes
Forever stressed, stretched, laundered
Just to clean impurities—
She's afraid of her mind so she keeps thoughts inside
no one will understand, so why even try?
just swallow them. Be alone and cry.
Read self help books, be a good friend
smile, hide, bury yourself, pretend.
Get relief- hide, cry and do it all again.
Until one day, cracks are too big to mask
tears shine through, and she clearly sees.
How can they care for me,or help, she asks
for i have hid myself, my pain, my tears.
All they know is the mask.
Not knowing the struggle to cover
Dark thoughts, tears, guilt and shame never expressed.
swallowed and silenced for no gain. what cold cruel pain!
Tormented, alone and silent with a broken mask and a shattered spirit.
shes only seeking a friend.
It is dark.
The old ones groan pierces the silence as his back is bent.
I knew he would, I could have expected this.
He surprised me although he didn’t.
A door opens.
The faint light of a single candle shines upon a grinning face.
I deny it, knowing that I know he knows.
It hurt, although it didn’t.
I'm waking up every morning filled with
despair that Ive started the day having
thoughts of you in my mind. They always
remind me of my wasted efforts that will never
give me a reason to smile and feel inspired;
Soon after, tears began to fall, rushing from my eyes
And when I remember the times we were together,
I wished I didn't spend any of those moments with you. Un-
happiness just immediately conquer my heart, letting me feel so
disappointed that I let myself to feel very un-
grateful that I've had the chance to be with you.
with that, I'm more willing to forget everything about you.
The love, care and concern that I expressed for you
is not even true. My indifference and coldness for you
increases daily. The more I see you, the more
you appear in my eyes as an object of discomfort. Eventually
I would see myself in every way, determined
to hate you. I assure you that I'll never live
to love you because I always expect nothing but the
content to be with my friends to cover up for the dis-
pleasure of being with you. Believe me,
I regret the day that I knew you plus
the fact that I'm really in love with you is
not true. You never mean anything to me. You're not
giving me the motivation to hold on. I hope that we will
never ever talk with each other again. I don't even want to
fix things up between us. I want you
to go away and never ever consider of coming
back. I also wanted you to know that I'm
finally learning to move on and that I'm not even
REALLY MISSING YOU!
P.S.
Please read between the lines
pretty from the outside
pretty ugly from the inside!
dreamy eyes, rotten mind
succulent lips, venomous spit!
more pills, one pound less...
perfect citizen, messed up fantaisies
sickening lullaby
bitten by the hardcore
one step down
well done
designer dress, bag of turds
dead body, my best outfit!
pretty from the outside
pretty ugly from the inside...