Rod Wave

Im never gonna doubt myself again,

Running blind ignoring my intuition,

I really convinced myself you would changed,

I ain't speak to you in three weeks,

Thought you'd give up the games,

But you still the same,

Still treat me like I'm second best,

when you know deep down I'm better than the rest,

I sit in this red chair, waiting for you to give me air,

Feeling like I can't breathe without you here,

But you leave me hanging, 

The same way you did when we were dating,

I know you seen my message,

You always got your phone,

You also been on Facebook 7 times since I sent it so I know,

You give your heart to these ungreatful bitches,

They take your energy and then they spend it, 

On another nigga or whatever TF they do with it,

All I know is they don't repay you for all the feelings,

you gave them, they never repay them,

Them long nights up waiting,

When will all this love and work I put in get repayed man,

All the lies and all the fake I love yous,

You really only loved yourself,

I promised I was gonna put myself first,

But I ended up still chasing you, while you chased someone else.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Fuck love.


Yesterday on the news I saw people fighting across the sea…

and as I witnessed hate in our own country this thought occurred to me…


That when it comes to the news…photographed up close or from high above

we are shown a lot of hate…and not a lot of love.


Oh, occasionally there are happy stories we are meant to comprehend

but these are not the first we hear…they’re usually thrown in at the end.


So I was pleasantly surprised yesterday by a story that reminded me who we are

It showed a father singing to his baby who was prone his guitar.


This father sang a lullaby…his baby listened without making a peep

and slowly as the father sang his baby drifted off to sleep.


And when the song was over…a happy tear was shed 

as the father leaned down gently and kissed his baby on his head.


It was nice to see and hear a story that brought a joyous tear…a smile

and made me forget about all the bad news…

if only for a while.


I know there’s bad news all around…we cannot hide our eyes

every day there is fighting, war, destruction…every day the people cry.


But it seems to me amidst these stories…which come in colors black and blue

we should be looking harder to find the love that’s out there too.


I pray for day there is less bad news…

I pray to the heavens and the stars…

for the day we have less stories about hate…


and more babies on guitars.

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On his 50th anniversary they were asked this question:

What has made your marriage so enjoyable and strong

In this day and age…when many marriages fall apart…

How is it you’ve stayed together for so long?


They paused for but a moment 

then the same thought entered their heads.

“I believe what has kept us together so long

has to do with dreams” he said.


“I had a dream about where my life would go

and what I was going to do

and I’m sure before I knew her

my wife had her dream too.”


“But the secret to our marriage”, she continued

“something we both long ago realized

was not only that our two dreams came together


but how they harmonized.”

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After listening to his final lesson 

the wise one was approached by a young woman and young man…

“We have a question.” they asked softly. 

He nodded, 

“I will answer it if I can.”


“We’ve listened to all your teachings.” They said

“We’ve taken them to heart.

You’ve taught us about beauty 

about friendship, love and art.” 


“You’ve taught us about acceptance and compassion

about how to have an open mind.

You’ve taught us about peace, 

about wisdom.

You’ve taught us to be kind.”


“We’ve listened and we’ve learned.” they said

“We’ve held on to your every breath.

Yet of all the subjects you have taught…

Yet you never speak of death?”


Their teacher looked at them and smiled, 

touched their shoulders 

then began to speak…

“Death eventually finds us.” he said…

“All the others…


we must seek.”


It’s old and a little tattered…the coat her grandma wore.

It doesn’t fit her all that good…it’s not in style anymore


It’s always by our front door…on the rack…just hanging there

She puts it on every now and then when she feels a chill is in the air.


I used to bring home new ones…I don’t do that anymore…

because she prefers to wear that old coat…the one her grandma wore.


Her grandma raised her after her parents died

It was in her grandma’s care she grew

She was too young to remember…

Grandma is the only mom she ever knew.


When she was sad or lonely or things weren’t going right

She would sit upon her grandma’s lap and grandma’s arms would hug her tight.


Through all the ills of growing up…through all the heartaches and thunderstorms

It was there in her grandma’s arms where she felt safe and warm.


When her Grandma passed away she left her this old coat

and there, on the inside pocket, she left a little note.


‘How many times over the years have I hugged you’…it read

‘I’ll never know the exact amount

because when it comes to hugging you

I long ago lost count.’


‘We all must die eventually for that is the circle of life.

This means I won’t be there to hug you

In times of happiness or strife.’


Which is why I’m leaving you my old coat…it’s the only one I’ve ever worn

It’s the one I was wearing when I first held you…the day that you were born.


Put it on when you are happy, when you’re excited or feeling blue

Put it on and know right then…I am hugging you.


Perhaps that’s why when she wears it…she also wears a smile…


and why that old coat her grandma wore…will never go out of style.

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A daughter came to her mother, “Mommy what is love?” she quizzed.

Her mother knew it was difficult to describe just what love is.


“I’m not sure I can answer for everyone.” She said, 

as her daughter climbed upon her knee

“But I will tell you as best I can…what love has meant to me”.


“It’s something that you feel…it’s not something you can see.

It’s when my heart is loved by you and your heart is loved by me.”


“For when two hearts love each other…happiness fills the air

and you notice when you look around…how beauty is everywhere.”


“It’s how you never suffer heartache or deal with your troubles on your own

because when two hearts love each other you never are alone.”


“I guess when you love someone”, and here she couldn’t help but grin… 

“You don’t know where your heart ends and where their heart begins.”


Then the mother looked at her daughter…having answered her little quiz

“Which makes me want to ask,” she said… “what do you think love is?”


Her daughter turned to face her mother…still seated on her knee…

“I guess when I think about it…

Love is you and Daddy…

and You and Daddy…and me.” 


“Yes!.” Her mom smiled as she gave her daughter a hug…

“Yes!” She said, as she softly whispered her name.

For she knew although their definitions may be different

their meanings were the same…


And they shared a quiet moment together…

both having aced their little quiz

each of them secure in the knowledge…


of exactly what love is.

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“I wish I could have taken you more places.” he said

as into her eyes he stared…

“Don’t you know it never mattered where I was.” she said,


"as long as you were there.”

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They loved to work on puzzles…puzzles of every kind

anything they could do to help improve their minds.


He would sit beside her as they completed crosswords

(always the left side he would choose)

He would help her with the answers as she read out the clues.


They would sit day in…day out with him on her left flank….

and he loved to watch how with pen in hand she filled in all the blanks.


They loved their jigsaw puzzles.

They made sure each one read '500 pieces’ on the label

because any puzzle with more than that wouldn’t fit on their card table. 


As they neared completion of a puzzle…his participation would decrease…

always giving her the pleasure…of completing that last piece.


And even though they completed puzzles to help their minds stay strong

that doesn’t always mean in life…the mind will play along.


For we never know what Fate has in store…what Destiny may bring….

and one day he began to notice she was forgetting things…


It was sad when he began to notice…and sadder yet because he knew

there would come a day…when she would notice too.


“I’m afraid?”  she said one day in tears

What are we going to do?”

“Whatever happens.” he said taking her hand

I’ll be right here with you.


So life was the last puzzle they completed

and he constantly gave thanks

he was there to help find her missing pieces

to fill in all her blanks….


And he was there when their puzzle ended

there the day she died….

their hands fitting together like a puzzle


as he was seated by her side.

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She loves to walk in sunflowers…surrounded by the mountains and the trees

Where stretching out in all directions…sunflowers are all you see.


She loves to touch the baby sunflowers…still developing…still quite small

And stand dwarfed by the adults…the ones over six feet tall.


She thinks there are more to sunflowers than our eyes will let us see.

She thinks perhaps her sunflowers are more like you and me.


“What if,” she asks, “when two sunflowers looking across an open field

What if the love that’s housed within their stem, when their eyes meet, is revealed?”


“We know sunflowers move.” she says. “because they all turn toward the sun.

So isn’t it possible if they want to be together…sunflowers might also run?


“Run…veiled by the dark of night…no matter what the weather…

Run into each other’s arms…just to be together.”


“Look how some of them are hugging.” She says, making her point with ease.

“Look how many of them are smiling as they dance together on the breeze.”


“And tell me you can’t feel it….their happiness…their bliss…

When you’re lucky enough…when you get the chance…to see two sunflowers kiss.”


“It’s a feeling”, she says, “I wish I could bestow on every girl and boy…

How when you walk among the sunflowers…you can’t help but share their joy.”


We have different reasons for loving a walk in sunflowers…

she…for the emotions that they stir

My reasons is a little more selfish…


I love walking in them…with her.