what starts with pain will only end with regrets

You confuse me so much that it hurts

inside your heart a shadow lerks

one that holds all of ur secrets

things that would make u not so perfect

you try so hard to get to me

i try to act but i know you see

you see through the things i do

the things I try to hide from you

you know that u have power over me

why wont you just let me be

you say that you love me

but how can that be

after u've hurt me

and wont set me free

all that i wanted was to be loved

now i fear what is to come

i dont know what im sappoused to do

i built my whole life around you

you were everything i thought i wanted

but now i see my dreams are haunted

your all that i see even now

i wish i could make you just a part of the croawd

but ever time i see you

my hearts screams for you

I feel so much pain

and it wont go away

i know you take pleasure in seeing me like this

but i want you to know my one last wish

that i hope that you can one day see

how much you really ment to me

and when there is no one left

all you'll have are you're regrets

Author's Notes/Comments: 

this is for my ex bf brandon

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Pretty Red Lines


Pretty red lines,

decorating my hips.

Not on my wrists,

for I wouldn't want that.

To upset others,

so my lines stay hidden.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this in like, 30 seconds... they just magically appeared in my head, and I got them done before they started to sound bad!! I like it though. Short, sweet, and to the point. But that is how I think of them. Pretty red lines.

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Friends with my Pain

Love and Pain

Friends with my Pain

Hello Pain.

There you are again

A sworn enemy

I can walk next to like a friend

Not too many tears this time

when you rang my bell

You are no new surprise

Your face doesn’t penetrate my shell

I’m cooking dinner

Would you like a bite?

I’m serving contentment

Without despair or seasoned with fight

For dessert, we’re having sadness

Topped with concern, minus the usual gloom

The taste is a little sharp

But I’m use to salt in my wound

Just like the last time

You said you were that, claimed you were this

And so just like the last time

You proved to be the opposite

And so the next time someone knocks

I will respond with even fewer tears

No thanks, keep your handbag of heartaches

Pain has already been here.


Author's Notes/Comments: 

Another layer of scar tissue.

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I Smile

Vent Poems

You look at me, I smile.

You keep looking so I do it a while

Longer. Just waiting for you to turn away

Avert your gaze so I can say,

I'm fine and I'm not shedding a tear.

Sometimes you put so much on me

That I can't take it all, you see?

I hold back and try not to cry

And tell you that my eyes are dry,

That there's nothing to fear.

I want you to see that it hurts

That I clutch my shirt

Holding my breath and go silent.

Hiding my feelings when I'm afraid to get violent.

I love you but you hurt me too!

When you're quiet and thinking

And your eyes not blinking.

That rage you hold in, it pains me

Just to watch you hurt and see

That you won't talk it through.

Not right away and I fill with guilt

Knowing it's not my fault at all.

But my heart is not strongly built

So for you I shall fall!

I hate to see you bittersweet

For to me you are my sweet!

So the next time you look vile,

Just remember my love and smile!


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I Wonder

Vent Poems

Every day and every night

I lay awake and I wonder

Who was wrong and who was right?

I lay awake in rain and thunder

And ponder upon my thoughts again

Who's to fault? Who's to blame?

I think about it once again

Why am I treating this as a game?

Did I care or was I blind?

Was I stupid or cared too much?

Did I leave too much behind?

Did we really go through such?

I wake up wishing my head would stop ringing

And I try to stop myself

I say I miss him more than anything

But am I fooling myself?

But when I think with my heart

I know I do and feel it there

It hurts me to be apart

Without knowing if you still care


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This Pain

This pain I feel is taking over my soul,

My blood dripping is my mind taking control.

My screams are so silent,

But my actions are getting more violent.

All my hurt I keep deep inside,

Waiting for the day when all hell will collide.

All my pain comes from within my heart.

Taking control and ripping me apart.

This pain I cannot seem to overcome,

Everyday I look in the mirror and cannot believe what I have become.

I have gotten my ass kicked, my bones broke,

But this pain inside my heart is no joke.

Maybe one day I can overcome this hurt,

I just hope it comes before my family lays me in the dirt.

By Danelle Harrelson

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Negotiating Happiness

I hate it when everything seems to be going good,

Then you turn around to find out you were mistaken,

Everything was in the wrong.

Negotiating happiness today,

Can't shack this funk,

Dragging my feet,

Nothing to do but wait for the fall now.

Brace your self girl,

You know the drill,

Don't fake the bold,

Just face the blow.

You know its going to hurt,

So no need to cry when there is no one to wipe the tears.

Just let the blood drain,

And stain,

It's always the same,

And only you to blame.

Negotiating happiness today.....

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WHY am I hurting WHY

If you say you're a good man,

Why am I crying?

If you say you're a tender man,

Then why am I dieing.

Maybe because I feel mislead,

Maybe because my heart is dead.

If you say you're a good man,

Why am I hurting?

If you say you're a honest man,

Then why were you flirting.

Did you not think before you committed your crime?

Did you not think about your sunshine?

If you say you're a good man,

Why do you love me?

If you say you're a loving man,

Then why didn't you show me!

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highschool hell


here we go again

get up again

tighten up my clothes

every time i see these hangers

i want to hang myself with them

here we go

shoes dress and match

i'm in a every day curse

reliving the same day over and over

going to hell just to satisfy others

i want to hang myself from the roof

watch them stop and stare or would they?

girls with wrist cuts

guys with rope burns around their necks

look myself in the mirror rehearse these prayers

look at me i'm pathetic i'm worthless

doesn't matter

i don't feel the love inside

dead inside  

eating cancer  drinking bone marrow disease

begging for a release

looking for an exit

so many times







so many met their doom

stop it!


it's wrong but it feels so right

filthy thought

nasty mind

murdering inspiration  

i love columbine attitudes

bastards! their ideas were mine

they did it!

i can do it!

look for the guts to do it!

death and a hearse

unlike them i'll do it!

i want to kill myself after i finish them

i know i'll want to do it again

Author's Notes/Comments: 

was written when i was 16

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