Pain/Sorrow

My Suicide

See those pills there by my bedside?

They shall accompany me in my suicide.



Take one, the pain still grew,

if one isn't enough I'll take two.



Thoughts of you swirl in my head,

You've left me here for dead.



I still feel pain, oh god please set me free.

There's a lot of pills in this bottle, I might as well take three.



No one wants me, I'm just being used.

I hope you are all quite amused.



Three still isn't working so I'll just take four.

And if this doesn't work five should be the cure.



As I enter blackness the pain still burns,

now i can be the least of your concerns.



Not like that is much different, since you never actually cared,

I hope now you understand your love wasn't meant to be shared.



Forget five I'm gunna take six,

hopefully now this  will be the fix.



I wish you all could see the pain you have created,

and now you can understand everyone I've truly hated.



Seven, eight, nine, ten

Yeah I'm finally starting to feel okay again.



See that empty pill bottle besides my bed?

I guess eleven is what has left me for dead.

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Raw

Pain’s a bitch yet I reach out, grab her by the hand.

Dance the dance, fight the fight, meet each hollered demand.

Try to dull the emotion out – which only makes me bleed

My heads screwed up – my hearts ripped out

I pray, I weep, I  plead.

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Spreading My Pain

Folder: 
2010

I've had my moments, both good and bad.
I've made people happy, and some so very sad.
Many smiles I've seen, but caused so much sorrow.
And sadly, I will still do it tomorrow.

I'm consumed by self hatred and regret,
While I habitually try to forget;
The hurt and pain I have spread over these years.
Just to suppress my own fears.

All my life, constantly moving, never stopping to think.
Scared because I know I'm standing on the brink
Now I'm alone, just me and time
Experimenting with words that rhyme.
  

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I don't really like this, but im trying to get back to writing, and this has been unfinished for a while.

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Missing Angel

Folder: 
Children





Precious Sweet Angel

Missing and alone.

The world prays for you,

That you will come home.





But as we listen and read,

Our hearts are filled with despair.

Many have searched sought answers,

And you not been found anywhere.



The world has come to know,

Your sweet smiling face.

There's a world full of love for you,

From the entire human race.



We wait and wonder,

But our hopes are growing dim.

For finding you alive,

Authorities say chances are slim.





Precious Sweet Angel,

Missing and alone.

May those who harmed you,

Be made to atone.





In Remembrance of

Caylee Anthony

missing from Orlando Florida

2008

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Like so many times before

Like so many times before,

I open up the door.

I can see the clouds in the sky,

I can hear your silent cry.

Teardrops are falling like rain,

and I can feel your pain.



Like so many times before,

I can sense the winds of change blow,

Heaving and pushing, like snow.

I feel the fists hitting deep into my heart,

ss you call for me,

but there’s no end and no start.



Like so many times before,

I am scared to open the door.

Like you, I can take no more.

I can see us falling to pieces,

so many years, so many creases.



Like so many times before,

I open up the door.

Like you, I can see no more.

Like you, I too lead my life unsure.

Like you, I will break in two,

so please, this time, I’m counting on you.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this poem for an ex friend of mine...she really needed help but the more I tried to help her, the more she pulled away and it really hurt...I needed her to let me help her, to better herself and she refused to acknowledge it...

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Kill me

I beg onto you others, end my pain

end the sorrows, end my shame

end this now, I beg you please

I'm begging you upon my knees



I'm the cause of all my pain

so to end it all, my freedom I gain

is it sane to wish my end

to leave behind my dearest friend



I do not know this, I am not sure

but I loose my mind to think of her

with another. and so I cry

to all you others.  please let me die...

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Only Way Out

She Is Stuck And Cant Get Out, Her Whole Life Is Full Of Doubt.She Trusts No One And Hides Alone, With No One To Love Or Call Her Own. No One Loves Her No One Cares, Her Life Is On The Edge Of Dispair. Socioty Is Agenced Her And She Knows It Even Though She Arose It. She Needs Help To Get Her Through The One She Needs May Be You. Try And Find Her And Help Her Out Fill Her Thoughts With Love Not Doubt. She Needs It Quick She Needs It Now Because Love Truly Is The Only Way Out.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

a close link to
THE FAST LANE

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The Fast Lane

She Used To Be Happy She Used To Be Free, But Now She Is Crying Uncontrolably. She Used To Have Love She Used To Have Pride But Now The Truth Shows That All Of It Died. She Used To Have Friends She Used To Have A Life, But Now All She Thinks About Is That Knife. Someone Help Her For Crying Out Loud, Because If You Do You Know You'll Be Proud For Saving A Life From Missery And Pain and Taking Her Sorrow Out Of The Fast Lane. She Will Be Alright If She Gets Love, Only You Can Stop Her Now From Spilling Blood. She Will No Longer Be Lost In Missery Or Pain, If You Take Her Out Of The Fast Lane.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

THE FAST LANE was written at the begining of freshmen year, i felt alone and despretly scared, and that's how the poem came to be.

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Mirrors

The night opens and I decend

further into empty dreams

filled with empty hope

Every lie you tell

pulls me deeper into

from what I know I can't escape



All around me

I see your face

In circles I turn

frantically searching

for my escape from

this maze of mirrors



You hide in a house of cards

made of forgotten memories

Fragile lies atop one another

towering to the heavens

Just one gentle push

and they all fall

like stars in from the sky



All around me

I see your face

In circles I turn

frantically searching

for my escape from

this maze of mirrors



Your illusions are delicate

free flowing in beauty

like smoke rings on a whisper

slowly fading away in the wind

disappearing in the nothingness

of a moment just passed



Lie to me again

give me comfort

give me hope

give me one more reason

to lie to myself

just one more time

one more time



All around me

I see your face

In circles I turn

frantically searching

for my escape from

this maze of mirrors





- July 21 / 2009

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Dedicated to myself

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