ocean

"Sails in Flight"

The sails flutter like dove's wings

gently pulled by a breath of autumn

that couldn't help but add the same permeation

of joviality that she gave me long before.

 

She was a shade of nightfall

that shimmered like a burnished star,

similar to that of a jade stone

under a million burning lighters.

 

Watching these rising waves

as they take flight over this metallic vessel,

I can almost hear her whisper

rustling these restless waters.

 

Your soul drifts parallel to these discontented currents,

floating with autonomous felicity;

waves rising and falling with a sensuous absolution,

I can feel your infinite presence, your adagio upon this turbulent sea.

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I Know You Care About Me

Folder: 
People

I Know I Put Myself Down
I Know Shame Myself For Being Unique
I Know I've Discredited Myself
I Know I've Neglected My Confidence

 

But Thanks For Loving Me Anyways
I Know I Don't Deserve This Love
I Sometimes Ignore You
And I Don't Even Talk To You

 

But Even If The Odds Are Against Me
Thanks For Being There For Me
Thanks For Praying For Me
I Know When The Clouds Pass By
And The Stars Twinkle In The Sky
You're There Somewhere With Me

 

If We Could Close The Gap Between Us
I'd Say You Shine Brighter Than Me
But When We Clump Up All The Souls In A Group
And The Each Person Collected In A Sphere
I Know Each One Shines Bright In A Different Way

 

Yes I Know I Haven't Talked To You In A Long Time
I Do Quite Frequently Think About You
Though We May Not Be Connected Anymore
I Sincerely Miss You Deeply

 

I Know Words May Not Seem Much
It  May Not Mean Much To You
But Honestly In This Moment
I Wish I Could Directly Hug You Right Now

 

Maybe I've Liked You More Than A Crush
But I Don't Think That Matters Anymore
Things Have Changed And I Can't Think Clearly Anymore
I Know Love Is Fragile And Frankly In This Society
Hearts Are Broken Much More Easily Then Ever

 

Perhaps It Was Meant To Be
But Since This Salvation Has Saved Me
I Really Can't Claim This Salvation As My Own Achievement
I Think The Reason I Was So Clean From This World
Was Because God Planned It From The Beginning

 

Without A Doubt I Surely Wouldn't Know About It
To Actually Know Whats Planned Ahead For Me
And The Reasons For The Things That Has Occurred In My Life
I Can Only Know That You Care More About Me Than I Know

salty aftermath

naked on the beach,
no towel underneath,
and the sand gritty
beneath, into, and
on top of everything
while lying next to the
ocean's rising tide,
the sea of hating,
remembering all
the loathing words
you spewed, berating,
salty drops of your envy
and resentment,
lost enchanment
drowns me, pulled
into the undertow
of remorse...

par for the course.

 

10:47 PM 4/27/2013 ©

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A poem about playing the victim role.

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She's Pretty Unique

Folder: 
People

I've Always Thought It Was Cute
Whenever A Girl Blushed
But In This World
People Are So Critical Of Appearance

 

Sometimes It Makes Us Insecure
But Really Its Just Personal Opinions
Though We Take Other People's Harsh Judgement
Over Our Own Perspective And We Hurt Inside

 

But Really People Are Beautiful In Their Own Ways
It Really Is A Bother When People Critically Judge
And Point Out The Bads Of Someone's Face
If They're Not Skinny, They Aren't Attractive
But If They're Fat, They're Unhealthy

 

It's All A Matter Of Your Views
People Are Really Unique In Their Own Ways
Whether If It Has Pros Or Cons
We Are All The Same In Flesh And Bone Humans

 

I Like The Diversity Of Personal Assorted Interests
It Goes The Same With Hair Style And Clothing Preference
If Someone Has Curly Hair, It's Swirls Like A Sharp Twister
If Someone Has Straight Hair, It's Majestic Like As Flush Bridge
If Someone Has Wavy Hair, It's Smooth Like The Cool Ocean

 

No Matter What You Look Like
You're Always Beautiful
If Someone Doesn't Find You Attractive, That's Okay
Because We Are Pretty Unique In Our Own Ways

How Do You Keep Happiness

Folder: 
Various Objects

I Know That It Hurts
About What I Feel
But I Can't See It!
It Feels Like I'm Carrying Lots Of Burdens
Thousands Of Tons Weighing Over My Shoulder

 

I Think I Know About It
But I Really Don't Know Myself
I Know That I'm Breathing
But I Can't See Whats In Store For Me
If I Can't Feel You
I Know I Have To Trust You God

 

I Just Pray That You're Walking With Me
Whenever I Face A Difficulty In My Life
I Know I'm Running Away From My Problems
But In My Mind I'm Just Afraid Of The Future
Where I Can't See My Successes
The Triumphs I've Already Made
Since It's Already In The Past
All That Remains Are The Memories

 

Memories I'm Not Always Fond Of
Ones That Pain Me And Hurt To Think About
Stumbling Across Random Reminisces
Please Don't Remind Me Of The Hurt
It Chokes Me To Recall Such Loneliness

 

Don't You Dare Shove It In My Face
I Can't Control Or Contain Myself
And I Just Break Loose The Locks
Why O'why Does It Have To Be Like This

 

Life Didn't Come With A Manual
Never Once Did It Tell Me How To Feel Happy
How Does One Obtain Happiness
And When You Receive A Portion Of It
How Do I Keep It
Can It Be Placed In A Container
How Do You Feel The Happiness Kelt Inside

 

How Can I Keep A Happy Face On
When All I'm Showing Is Fake Smiles
My Skin Shows No Cuts Or Bruises On Me
It's Because All Of The Hurt, The Cuts, And The Bruises
Are All Sitting Inside Of My Heart
All The Wounds Are Mental And Emotional
I Can't Keep Myself Occupied With Other Things
When You Can't Feel Or See Any Hint Of Pain
It's All Hiding Deep Within Me

Oil Slick

Folder: 
Nature / Folder 1

combing the beach

dead sea creatures lie

it's so sad

 

(image from treehugger.com)

......

copyright 2012

........

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A haiku about oil spills.

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I Know How That Feels

I Know How You Feel
When Your Friends Ignore You
They Don't Even Respond To You
When They Have Some Free Time
But You're No Where First On Their List
They're Always Chilling With Their Other Friends

 

I Know How You Feel
When Your Friends Need Somebody
But They Just Don't Think Of You
They Go On And Ask A Different Friend
It Feels Like You're Not Worth Their Time

 

I Know How You Feel
When You Give So Much Of Your Time
But It Feels Like It Goes To Waste And Unnoticed
Overlooked The Shoulder And Ignored

 

I Know How You Feel
When They Don't Need You
But You Know They're Hurting Inside
Cause They're Afraid To Ask For Help
And When You Ask Them If They're Feeling Fine
They Tell You're They're Doing 'okay'
But The Misery Undeniably Shows On Your Face

 

I Know How You Feel
When You Feel So Worthless
But You're Worth Everything To Me
You The One Who Fixes Me When I'm Down
You Shine So Bright In The Dark
Like A Diamond Hidden In The Mines
But You Don't See That In Yourself, Do You

 

I Know How You Feel
When You've Feel Like You've Made No Progress
And When You Compare Yourself To Others
The Pain Deepens In Agony And So Much Distress
You Might Not Glow At All In The Day Light
But You Shine Brighter Than Anyone In The Dark
Radiating The Love Higher Than The Sun

Made To Share With Everyone

Folder: 
Miracles

I Know We're Not Perfect
And We're Aren't Ones To Judge
Sometimes We Make Mistakes
And That's Normal For Everyone
But When We Hurt Those That Judge Us
It Makes Us No Different
Cause We're No Different From Sinners
To The Saints Who Glorify The World

 

Cause We Are The Ones Who Feel The Suffering

We Are The Ones Who Feel The Guilt
We Are The Ones We Feel The Hurt
We Are The Ones Who Feel The Pain

 

But We Were Created To Love Others
We Were Created To Be Strong
So We Could Lift Up Others As Well
Though People Will Push You To The Ground
Knock You Off Your Feet And Crush You
You're Stronger Than Burning Steel
You're Swift Like The Drifting Sea

 

Cause You're So Bright In The Shadow And
You Were Made Shine Like Diamond
Perfect In His View To Boast In His Glory
You May Think You're Not Good Enough
But You're Made Exactly How God Wanted You

 

Cause He Made Us In His Own Flesh
That We Could Share The Grace Of The Lord
It Ain't No Lie Cause Its All In Full Truth
He Made Us So We Could Share His Love
The Love That Is Unconditional And Unlimited To All

 

There Ain't No Limits To Who Gets Joy, Delight Or Cheerfulness
It Was So We Could Share The Joy In His Presence
And Out Of His Presence
We Are United As One Spirit
One Heart Whole As One
One Mind Fused As One
One Body Combined As One
And One Soul To Blend As One

Equal grounds

all I need back is my peace of mind..
i've been walking down the borders of life, looking out to the vast sea..
the ocean of all that is to be.
wishing to float with you...
I don't want to feel so cut up.. 
the clams at the bottom are so rough.
there's dead jellyfish about..
the seagulls are so loud.. 
but I wish we could be together & completely shut it out.
 
I know you really don't need me.. so this is it.. 
i'll try not to think too much about all this, until i'm given a better reason to.
I feel sick.. is it just me?
i'm beginning to think everyone around me is ailed in some way..
this is probably true..
for me, it is not use or be used... 
equal grounds is where I like to lay.
 
this will help mask the pain.... 
one day it will just stop for awhile... 
she'll be able to smile without aching.. 
without tears swelling up in that cloud of grey & blue..
king & queen knocked off the board, your knight's & pawn's crumble, is this game done..?
 
I feel like this body just isn't me.. it's not at all a part of who I am.. 
I want to break free!!
I don't want to feel like a worthless piece of flesh...
but I re-assure myself, each time this skin blisters red..
i'm sorry I keep letting you down.. 
 
sometimes, I really just want to fall off a cliff... 
it always feels like i'm being pushed, anyway..
what's making me stay?
I can't stand being stuck in constant resistance.. 
hesitation versus action..
it's nothing happening at all, against consequence.
it's like being pulled both directions & stuck where you're at.
 
i've stretched so far for the both of you... 
the center of myself is but an empty hole.. 
worn thin.. deteriorating..
would you lie to me, if I questioned, are you all parasites..?
simply feeding...
 
i'm not here for you to feast upon..
Author's Notes/Comments: 

3.17.13

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