Learning

First I Wrote My Name

Once I bounced a ball,

The paper was my wall,

It bounced around my head a while,

That ball and me , we shared a smile.

 

Then I drew a house,

With windows for a mouse,

With curtains, blue and yellow lace,

I told myself, "I like this place".

 

Then I went to schools,

There they taught me rules,

The first the rule was to "write your name",

I recognized a different game.

 

Junior High breezed through,

The years passed by, they flew,

The days were filled with sitting still,

My parents worked to pay the bill,

I gained a lot of nothing missed,

Always writing, my hand a fist.

 

And now that years have passed,

I'm on my own at last,

When memory of that ball comes back,

I reminisce, I see the lack,

That ball is bouncing back to me,

It tells me learning should be free.

 © 2013

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Education should be 'free' ie: free mind to learn about what one chooses and not only what it is in writing in a page of a book, or thoughts of opinion that have been masterfully manipulated to concoct another's idea of the 'truth'. That is not an education. That is simply the idea someone else gives you that you have one (an education).

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Frightful Struggle

Concentration
Motivation
Creation
Lack there of
But this poem comes first
Words of mine take priority over theirs
I deny conforming
I lose my passion
While they gain their pay checks
My counselor tells me I should speak to them
Tell them that my father lost his job
Tell them that our health insurance has been snatched out of our hands
Tell them that I've gone back to a job I love
For reasons I hate
Tell them that I didn't just become 20 on my birthday this year
No
I became an adult
I became responsible
I became the last hope
High school diploma
Check
Bachelor’s degree
Processing, expect delays ahead
Master’s degree
Heavy turbulence, estimated arrival time
Not available
As I formulate these words and my thought process calms
I get jumbled
It’s not a moment of ADD
It’s not the hormones jumping around my brain
Like sperm sensing a vagina is near
Jumbled thoughts in the sense that I’m
Young
Yesterday seems so far away
But yesterday I wasn't a kid
Today I dissipate into the swarm of students
And workers
And somebody's
Slithering onto the bus
That will charter me to a future that I did not plan
Tonight I will slink into my bed
Hugging the bear I've had since I was too old for Barney
Curling into the cold, empty, paper thin sheets
Feel my pulse slowing as I enter sleep
I will dream of the dark times
I only ever think of
That never really happen
Until they actually do
What you choose to see of me
Depends on what you’re looking for
If you open my soul
And take a peek inside
You will be blinded by light
I could joke and tell you that it’s filled with rainbows and unicorns
That’s what I’d say to my friends
That’s how they know me
But really
This light is my guide
And without it
I don’t know my purpose
Yet even though I know where it is
I don’t always know
My purpose
If I’m helping my parents pay the bills
If I've aged myself purposely while the rest of you are trying to look younger
If I’m sacrificing my grades in classes that should matter more than anything to me
Then really
What is my purpose?
Concentration
Motivation
Creation
Lack there of
This poem comes first
These words take precedence
I dream of the day I’ll sit in the front of my class
And be able to say “my students”
But I shake my head
Because I’m not ready
I can’t practice what I preach
I’m morphing into a woman who needs guidance in getting her predicaments into an order that tells her which one comes first and second and third and fourth and fifth
Baby steps
An adult body
An adult brain
A baby comprehension
A massive jolt of caffeine cannot even
Cannot even solve what I must complete
If at first you don’t succeed
Yeah, you know, you try, try again
But until when?

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Learning the Days of the Week

Folder: 
Inspiration(al)

Learning the days of the week,
is easy to do.
The decision to learn them
is up to you!

Monday is the first day,
it’s number 1!
This is the day of the week
that you go back to school.

Tuesday is the second day,
it’s number 2!
This is the day
after Monday.

Wednesday is the third day,
it’s number 3!
The spelling of this day
is often messed up.

Wendsday or Wednesday?
Know how you can remember
the correct way to spell it?

Think Wed, as in wedding,
then nes, and finally put in day!

Thursday is the fourth day,
it’s number 4!
After today,
you’re closer to the weekend!

Friday is the fifth day,
it’s day number 5!
This is the day
many people look forward to!

Saturday is the sixth day,
it’s day number 6!
This is the first day
of the week end.

Sunday is the seventh day,
it’s day number 7!
After today,
it’s back to school again.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A poem I thought of while I was walking to school October 24, 2012. Please let me know what you think!!

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Down town people watching

Folder: 
OBSERVATIONS...

People walk and people talk around town
they seem to think they know whats going down
they laugh and they cry, they run and they hide
chasing thier ideals, looking for a ride
some running over victims, crying foul
others play victim throwing in their towels
what a mess! what a kufuffle my dears
thats what happens when we fail to conquer fears
May we learn from another's mistakes before
we our own make and discover err more!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Tried it with a sylable count of 10 and 2nd last two 11 and very last back to 10. :) getting technical because i need to go back to my roots! ;)

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Castration Sonata

Excuse me miss,
but could I know your name?
I feel that after seeing your eyes
I won't ever be the same.
I fear that seeing your face
so bright when you smile,
and seeing your gentle grace,
and admiring your style,
has left me so drunk
that I'll loudly exclaim
that if I can't know you
I won't ever be the same.

Excuse me miss,
but could you be my flame?
I feel that after tasting you
I won't ever be the same.
You'd think after all these times
that I would have learned,
yet even though I knew your heat,
I'm left with nasty burns.
And even after all these burns
have become less inflamed,
I know that after feeling you
I won't ever be the same.

Excuse me miss,
but could I be your game?
I fear that after your done playing
I won't ever be the same.
You always made my heart dance
perhaps always by a string,
controlling it like a puppet;
just some useless thing.
After you decide to cut the strings
you can always claim
that after you ran through me,
I wont ever be the same.

Excuse me miss,
but could I be your blame?
I fear that after I bled for you
I won't ever be the same.
Even after watching me
crash so hard into the floor,
instead of helping pick up the pieces
you walked right out the door.
And painfully your malice burns,
like venom in my skin,
as I try to survive you
and someday start again.
Once all is said and done
and my heart's been completely maimed,
You will never see that
I won't ever be the same.

Excuse me miss,
but could I forget your name?
I feel like if I had never asked you
I wouldn't be the same.
Perhaps I would know less
without having learned
first hand how easily it is
to get so severely burned.
But also more innocent
not lacking faith in love.
Not ever screaming at the skies
searching for help above.
I can't ever take back
the asking of your name,
just know that if I hadn't asked,
then I wouldn't be the same.

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Aprendi, bajo la luz...

El año mas bajo financiero, tiempo prestado, tres amores,
tres nuevas estranjeras...
La de los ojos verdes este' Nuevo Año la amare'-

Aprendi, bajo la luz de la Luna ser sincero, humilde, el poeta
rebelde- y sera, "y sela", diera con gusto...
Son pocas las sonrisas que me desnudan, son muchas las
miradas que enamoro'-

Aprendi, bajo la luz del Sol ser aventurero, tomar la rienda, y
reclamar mis enojos...
Un año de sorpresas, amistades del pasado regresan, una
se fue, pero pronto volvera...la paloma perdida-

Aprendi, bajo la luz de las Estrellas apreciar mi vida y aceptar
la muerte divina de los que muriran en el Año Nuevo...
Miles de lagrimas ya llore, convertiendose en rios de aguas
vivas. Siertas mentiras eran verdades. Si crees en todo lo que
te digo, crees en todo lo que piensas-

Aprendi, bajo la luz que mi salvacion murio en la cruz de
calvario, y el horario del fin no a comensado...
Acepte, que cuando me muera no quiero que nadie valla a mi
funeral, incinerar mi cuerpo, cenisas en el mar-
Si me entieran, que entieren mis memorias en el ayer, que mi
carne se pudra al amanecer...delen mis huesos a los perros
para que sean sabios como yo fui-

Aprendi, que soy el Poeta que critica el alma de la humanidad,
siertos me aceptan, muchos me odian...me da por igual!!!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Aprendi...

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Complicity Life

Cuz I be thinking & I've been thinkin // life is too short & more complex then we be thinkin // life is like a bitch that every niqqa be feelin // we hurt her feelins & that's wen she starts to tearing // I get my tear in & I start blinking // seeing life in many colors I be linking // it was like if u opened ur eyes while u was sinking // a new world in front of ur eyes u try drinking // thinking you full but yet u really shrinking // the weight of the water be leaving u all stressed // it be feeling like dat HD blue ray stinging u in the chest // the poison slowly feeds buts it's slow to ingest // that's why every part of me is fast to address // cuz every second of life is time to impress // to progress into something at best // to express & confess leaving things at arms rest // being true to myself fighting wearing my belt // being good at my feet // finding & dinning da treats // this a concrete jungle // I'm jus killing to eat // thriving, striving, surviving, & driving to see // arriving at this world dats still unclear to me.

.

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Sobriety

Folder: 
Wulfman Adventures

Wishing on dropping tears
To have a walled home again
Somewhere to hang my dreams
Not to give up hope
Though sins are cheap
All the false leaping out
Using all known strength
Just to cope

With the yen and pull of sins
For the dope high
Some days it is like a Bengal Tiger
And home seems so far away
Unhooking the tiger’s claws
Grit my teeth, flex my might
Hold the tiger’s tail tight

And wish on fallen tears

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Pieces of Sanity 2010

One: Break it!
Destruction of a soul can be awe inspiring, but not when out of love.

Two: Uh-oh!
Everything is falling down, and I did not do anything!

Three: Azure
In the dull ashes, a gay glow blooms of fiery colours. Could this be dawn?

Four: Well Being
I am an open window, and I can feel the pleasure for once.

Five: Corner Stone
My world was never built on love. My world is crude and bleak.
Until I find the missing honour and beating heart.

Six: Lies
How much longer will I drink these lies?
Until all their flavors taste bland as cheap smokes?

Seven: Really?
A brick at a time, one-day and one-step at a time.
Yes, boring really.

Eight: Self Pleasures
The cheap whores please me no more than weak smoke sucked into my air bags.
My soul and heart are no longer pained by the fleshly sin and disgrace.

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