break up

To The One That Crushed My Heart

Theres nothing you can say
To make this okay
Sorry just doesn't cut it
I'm broken in every way
I can't quite understand
What the fuck even happened
What it is I did so wrong
In which I'd love to be enlightened
It ended so abruptly
That I think I'm still in shock
I loved you more than life itself
You always were my rock
My heart and soul died
The day you spoke those words
I'd give anything in this world
To once again be yours

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Fifteen secrets

Seven years and all gone
I tried, you loved, I struggled, you restricted
Between church and Hyboria, you lost me
There was never enough time
Even when staring at blank screens for nine hundred hours
I just wanted to be seen, you were blind
I crawled, I fought, I screamed and you read holy words
But I was never a demon

Alone you stand
Was it worth it?
And what did you think of those fifteen empty bottles in the closet?

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tags:

Time Travel

Folder: 
Lavanda

If I could go back in time
what i wouldn't give just to hold you one more time
but you, you left me behind
i have to stay strong
but it's so hard knowing you're gone
i'm trying to hold on

can you hear me?
i'm screaming your name

Can we go back to the way things use to be?
when it was you and me
and nobody could come inbetween
cause memories are fading
and time is disapating
and its definatly not waiting up for me
so please time travel back to me
back to me

now i'm sitting here alone
so many things that i wish that i had said
but now its way too late
i hope you reply
this letter i've been sending a thousand times
will it ever reach you from the past?

can you hear me?
im screaming your name

Can we go back to the way things use to be?
when it was you and me
and nobody could come inbetween
cause memories are fading
and time is disapating
and its definatly not waiting up for me
so please time travel back to me
back to me

your last words echoing inside of my head
i can't help but to repeat over, and over
help me to dry all these tears that i cry for you
when your not here
No, you're never here anymore

Can we go back to the way things use to be?
when it was you and me
and nobody could come inbetween
cause memories are fading
and time is disapating
and its definatly not waiting up for me
so please time travel back to me
back to me

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Comment :)

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Threaded Needles

Every bullet that pierced my heart

Was engraved with her initials

So I would never forget her name

Never forget

The trouble I had caused

And the flames of passion that scorched my mind

She'll never let it die

I'll never let her cry

Every tear melts her skin

Bring me my own head on a platter

I caused the heartache

I am the murderer of love

I am the killer of faith

I am the executioner of life

I confess!

I confess!

Goddamn! I confess!

The smell of heartache is fresh

It is all I'll ever breathe

It is all I'll ever taste

It is all I'll ever know

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Old Wishes

Why is it i still love you?
Why do i act like i'm only a friend
Inside i want to say that's true
But it's with you my life i'm to spend

I'm hiding behind a mask
Because i can't get over you
So i put myself to the task
Of trying to forget you

I feel worthless, insane and consummately inane. Because i wont ever tell you.
Because i wont let my brain, thoughts of you entertain.

I'm losing control of my emotions
I know you more than anyone
But you don't see my hidden devotion
Because after causing you trouble i'm done

i want your happiness to abound
Because i love you more than you know
I just want to hear the sound
Of all your happy moments grow

So i'm facing myself
And putting my love aside
So i don't feel all alone
I just can't seem to abide
With my own feelings
And this strange animosity
Throwing me against the ceiling
Through my own curiosity

Because i love you
But for you it's not there
Not a thing to do
Except act debonaire.

You love someone that Doesn't love you back. You don't see me because he blinds you. Love is the only thing i lack. But if you're happy, i can be through.

Struggling as much as i do
You have always been there to help me through
And even in my eyes you cannot see
I just want your happiness to Be.

I'm sorry i'm inadequate.
My experience illiterate
But please be considerate
Be my friend. So i don't quit.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this after a break up of a relationship that was never there. I yearned to be with her even though I despised her. I hope someone can relate with this.

Angel Eyes

You say your love for me vanished like the fog.
And that like the fog, your love will return.
Will my love return too?
No.
My love has perished like the aspirations of the lifeless.

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Left alone

Why should i not be allowed to cry, when her eyes look like she's about to die.
When her pain is so strong I feel it too, and i've tried everything but don't know what to do.
When as I look at her my heart starts to ache, and she believes that my reasons to care are fake.
She wants nothing to do with me anymore, I want it back to the way it was before.
And still she won't allow me to cry, even as she grants me a last goodbye.

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Steps Of Letting Go

Taking the first step, you can hear your heart racing.
Now at step two you wish you could stop chasing.
As you take the third step it slowly sinks in,
That the person you love, you will never win.
If you got up to four, you certainly know, most of those feelings won't ever go.
Don't tumble now! You can't let it show.
Step number five is saying "as long as you're happy, I'm as happy as can be"
But in your heart you're thinking, why didn’t you pick me?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Why does it have to be so hard?

The Fisherman and Her Bones

Last night
I wished you were a mermaid.
I wished my arms were oceans
you would swim in.

I would spend my days
on boats named after you,
throwing hooks shaped after you in the water
while the sun
hangs over head
yawning like a weary traveler,
prayinghopingwishing you would bite
so I could take you home with me.

At night
I'll watch the sky spark,
electric,
struggling to keep up with you
while I fight off the fishermen
that want you for themselves.

I'll scatter parts of me
across anything resembling water
so you can find me wherever you go
and wherever you go
I hope your heart beats loud enough
for me to hear
across continents.

I'll fill a tub with the sea
and things to make you feel at home
even though
they won't be good enough.

When I say your name out loud
I'll wish that I could breathe under water
because I know that someday
when our bones no longer
fit into each other

I'll have to throw you back.

© 2011 Patrick Szajner

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