cost

The effects of child abuse on you

The effects of child abuse on you

By jfarrell

 

I speak of me and my experiences and abuse;

I have no right, or claim, to speak on behalf of others;

Hopefully, this echoes what they may say

And explains why you must listen and stop child abuse.

 

The effect on me;

I cut myself off from my family, my sister;

I didn’t want to pass the abuse on, and I had started;

No friends, alone all my life.

Depression and several suicide attempts.

 

The effect on you, society, tax payers;

My being in care cost upwards of about £500 a week, back then

Double that, my sister’s in care with me;

The years spent in therapy,

In mental hospitals, in A&E after suicide attempts.

And that’s not mentioning the 20 years spent on the sick;

Too ill to work.

 

And that’s just me.

Thousands, tens of thousands of pounds of your money;

Spent on helping me overcome my pain and become a ‘survivor’;

Trust me, in my shoes, this ain’t surviving…

 

And I’m a ‘safe’ victim;

I can only internalise what I feel and hurt myself;

I can’t hit others, get high on crack and turn to crime;

Get drunk and beat my wife and kids like dad did;

I’ve never taken the risk of having a wife and family.

Having no-one, I can hurt no-one.

 

What we go through does affect you. Now and in the future.

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

our parents don't mean to **** us up, but they do - i don't rememeber the poet's name, Phillip Larkin?, but, words, so true

*The Hunger*

Folder: 
Ballads

 

 December.22.1997/ April.10.2015

 Trisha Barrek Hopkins


(I)

A girl is on her knees

She is begging for something she can't have

Her face is pale 

Her eyes dim

The hate is stale

In a pool of blood she swims

Yet she has not reached

The one thing she hungers for

Love....Lust....Happy....Hate

She preaches....She begs....

She can only count on fate

Feeling a pain so sore

Through her heart a peg

Goes all the way to the core

 

(II)

She screams through anger

The hunger so strong

The tear falls

Hopeing if she begs more it doesn't hang her

Something calls

What could it be 

She stays silent

A heartbeat in the echo

Crazy....Mad....

Crying she hurries up a tree 

From there she can see....Not glad

He's further away with someone

She wants her to disappear

So she can have him for her own

To keep to herself

To have his love

But her heart is all stone

He is a dot in the morning sun now

Far in the distance

As not really there

She sees a cloth....A girl....A glove

 

(III)

In the moonlight

Her eye glistens with shine

But disappears with pain

A sudden fear

So deep she can taste it too fine

In a line so striaght

She jumps from the tree with fright

Something or somone follows

This bothers her alot 

She can not see in the darkness

So she remains in the tree in her spot

Wait....She senses it is empty and hollow

She jumps out of the tree 

She runs as fast as lightening

She falls.... scrapes her knee

A cloth....So red....A stain

 

(IV)

Round the cold heart

The hunger is back

She needs to feed

Or she'll fall apart

She wants that thing so bad

Where after her sweet pain

What she wants only makes her more sad

It is he she can not have

And one with trebling hands claps her cold head

He fans her with his moonlight wings and cries

"My love....My sorrow....You, You are not the one dead

She looks up into the eyes

Of the one who once held her

The one that loved her

The one that gave her kisses to

The one that she knew 

Chasing something one can never own

Like dew upon a sleeping flower

There lies a pale soul

She can no longer stand

There is no stone

Just space

Letting the hunger go she faded

Like a cloud which had out drained its rain

But that is not the case 

She knew it is love....The bloods only stain

 

(V)

The red glove in her hand

Her face in her lovers arms

Suddenly crying

Nothing there....That's not what she planned

Alone with the hunger

Trapped by the doors

Now the tears are pouring out

She is dying

She can feel it in her pores

No where is where she stays

She can feel the tears rolling down her face

In her heart he will stand

Heartbeats at a slower pace

No one is who she has

She needs him

She runs to him fast

She has done a sin

Now remembering all is in the past 

He is just a ghost in the moonlight 

She is lost 

She has nothing to win

But keeping his love she'll put up a fight 

For him she'll do it at any cost

 

Copyright

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Wrote this in my creative writting class and I updated it today. Please comment on it.

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Cost

Folder: 
2014

You asked me to say it,

Those three words

When I had intended

To keep my mouth shut

For quite a while,

Irregardless of how I felt

 

I had planned on doing so

Simply because I have felt

A lot of pain because

Of those three words

The heartache that people

Even though they say them,

Want to provide you with

Massive amounts of pain

 

Now that I have said them,

The question is now

How do you feel?

Whats in your heart?

I know that it will be a while

Before you can do anything

But I don't think that has

Anything to do with love

 

I personally feel that

If you feel it, you should say it

No matter how much is at stake

Because if you feel it then

It doesn't matter what the cost is

You should say it

Because you wont know what

The cost of keeping it in is

 

~Chrystal

Written on

 

March 18, 2014

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this after my boyfriend asked me to tell him that I love him. 

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