humorous

I’m walking in my sleep tonight

I’m walking in my sleep tonight

By jfarrell

 

I’m walking in my sleep tonight

As soon as my head hits the pillow

And I am away to the Land of Nod

 

With one stride I will cross the Atlantic Ocean

With the next I will be at love’s home

Then seated on the swing on her porch

 

Holding her in my arms

Kissing her passionately

*this is a “PG” rated poem - this scene has been deleted*

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

dreams are magic :)

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I am scared of my hoover

I am scared of my hoover

By jfarrell

 

 

I am scared of my hoover.

I bought it about nine months ago,

A “vax” power nano,

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh

Sounded so coooooooooool.

 

Silver grey handle and base.

Transparent bagless chamber,

With a red hat to empty it.

And a bunch of tubes.

 

I’ve used it twice.

The second time I used it

I think I broke it

And I am scared to confirm that fear.

 

If the hoover I spent £120 on nine months ago

Is broken

It means I have six months worth of cat hair

To sweep up with a dustpan and brush.

 

And that ain’t gonna be fun :(

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

i broke it, what a donut, eh? :)

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A Falling Leaf

Laying under an Oak tree one sunny day
A falling Leaf caught my eye as it floated away
It floated solemnly through the sky as if to imitate a feather
Only you can guess the season by this one, and perhaps even the weather

For we all know that the leafs begin to fly away at the first of fall
So that a new leaf may begin to sprout in spring, this I recall
So by that leaf much can be learned by the watchful eye
We know for instance as it floats to the ground it is its time to die

Nature’s cycle nears its end for this little guy afloat
So that he may decay and nurture life, so I've seen it wrote
We know that he began as a lively and radiant autumn leaf
And that he danced in the wind, and played in the rain so brief

Now his time has ended, yet he is still a part of natures plan
For as he fertilizes the grass, he is reincarnated somewhere throughout the land
Perhaps now he has become a spry blade of grass or even a flower
Perhaps a small insect or even a tree that may tower

No matter what lesson you learn from that falling leaf
You are sure to remember that life is really brief
So dance in the wind and play in the rain
Enjoy this life while you can, your destiny lies on that plain

P.S. We all become fertilizer in the end!

By: Wayne Hoss

Dancing On My Shingles

Each night I lay and wait

anticipating their unceremonious arrival.

The celebratory gathering of antsy little feet,

performing their nocturnal two step under luminous sky

atop my coveted shingles.

 

After a long day

scouring the weary arms of my silver maples

every morsel retrieved

consecrated like a Greek God of the trees.

Why in the still of the night

must they dance atop my shingles?

 

It’s to the rhythm of this nightly promenade

I must find my sleep.

I close my eyes

at times

a perplexed smile I wear between each cheek,

baffled by the absurd imposition

and intrusion of my peace.

 

But for all those familiar sounds

amid a setting and rising sun,

there is none

like the boisterous unruly feet

that dance atop my shingles.

 

 

 

Copyright © 2014 by Daryl R. Gaines. All rights reserved

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Every night without fail the squirrels have a party on my roof. For some unknown reason they prefer my shingles to the trees

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Thank You Doctor

In case its not apparent by these silly rhymes I write

I grew up on Dr. Seuss...yes Dr. Seuss...that’s right.

 

There I said it and I’m not ashamed it doesn’t make me less a man

To admit I read The Cat in the Hat and loved Green Eggs and Ham.

 

It seems when I was just a boy I harbored this strange wish

To see a Fox wearing blue Socks while counting two red fish.

 

“Mom, let’s read about Horton the elephant.” Every night I’d plead and beg

I didn’t care if it was the one about the Who or the one where he hatches the egg.

 

But Dr. Seuss wasn’t just about the rhyme, there’s more to him if you please.

From him I learned to imagine and the need to save the trees.

 

I learned some basic counting and I learned to alphabetize

I learned how one small heart at Christmas can grow three times its size.

 

From the first book I was amazed how words could sound that way

And I’ve been afflicted by the rhyme bug ever since that day.

 

If I had to pinpoint the time I think it was on Mulberry Street

When I knew my life without some rhyme would never be complete.

 

And now my friends on Facebook my poetry get to see

At least those still remaining who haven’t hidden or unfriended me.

 

But I will keep on writing for better or for worse

You see this rhyme thing can be a blessing or it can be a curse.

 

Many times I have been sick or hurt but there’s one constant I deduce

No doctor makes me feel as healthy or as good as Dr. Seuss

 

Like Marvin K. Mooney I must go now but don’t be too distraught

For I am leaving but I leave behind one more rhyming thought.

 

When you’re feeling stressed, depressed or low and the world seems like a sham

May I suggest a little Cat in the Hat or perhaps Green eggs and ham.

 

 

 

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Miss All That

Folder: 
Love Poems

I miss all that

How can I get it back...

The sensitivity of life

Seeing each blade

In a field of grass

Seeing grass as blades

Glistening in the hurt you feel...

Well

maybe I don't

actually

          Miss

                 All that.

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Your feathered friend by Dfx

I wish I were a bird so that I could fly
You may see me take wing to soar upon high
Riding air currents, upward I'd sail
With the sun on my face and the wind at my tail
Closer to heaven in hopes I may find
The strength to forgive to obtain peace of mind . . .
. . . On second thought . . .
. . . I'd glide low, search from too and fro
for road kill, carrion and corpses
On all of these I would feed with greed
Until struck with the urge and filled with the need
Then, across the horizon, swift wing beats would lead me to perch in that tree just outside your homestead
And when you came out, taking careful aim
I'd shit it all out all over your head
Tweet, tweet A**H==e

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The Babysitters Psalm

Folder: 
Funny stuff

This child is my charge and how he wants and needs every five minutes
He covers me in drool-this is not cool
He leadeth me to take nerve pills
He vexes my soul as i rock him to sleep for the umpteenth time this eve
Yea though i walk thru the halls of baby clothes and dirty diapers
I fear loud screams for he is no doubt hungry
His diaper stinketh high and mightily
How i dread this changing
God forbid i should give him a bottle
For his siblings plot to steal it from him
Knowing full well he is hungry and his belly empty
Surely goodness and mercy will follow me to the funny farm
For i have come unglued and there will be hell to pay
On the young butts who made this mess

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This one i did for one of my sitters who also baby sat for a neighbor kids(they were hellions from the word go and drove her batty with their shenanigans).

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The Taxi Ride

Folder: 
Funny stuff

There i buckle
Sucking on a honeysuckle
There I see a nest with a bee
There i pass
A field of grass
There is a man with a bass
It is made of glass
The car I just seen
It was green
The taxi pulls to a stop
When I get out there is a cop
He asks if i stole a car
I say by the bar
He says you're under arrest
I think damn cops are a pest
I should've run and hide
But I too this stupid taxi ride

By Allan V. Mendez (my 2nd born son in about the 4th grade i think--still makes me laugh)

Author's Notes/Comments: 

just had to put this one up here cause it still makes me laugh--my sons are grown and are still a constant source of amazement, confusion and hilarity!

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