Hidden Love

She doesn't love you much

I know she doesn't love you much

And not as strongly as I do,

For when she gave your hand a touch

I would have kissed your fingers too.



She's never noticed, I suppose,

That you like silver more than gold,

That you have freckles on your nose

And that your hands are always cold.



She doesn’t know your sister’s name

And puts much sugar in your tea.

Her eyes are guilt. Her lips are blame.

She has the half of love in me.



She looks at you, but never in,

Her kisses burn, but don’t comfort.

She feels the passion kept within,

But not your loneliness and hurt.



I wish you saw the things I see

When giving her another touch.

She may be prettier than me,

But still, she doesn’t love you much.

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So Confused

These feelings I can hardly contain

Almost taking my being over

Sometimes as tough as hiking to Maine

I wish sometimes to be Grover

It wouldn't matter then

If I hugged you every two seconds

And then it wouldn't matter when

I'd hang with you, as friends.



My head is trying so hard

To make sense of what my heart is saying

All I feel like is cardboard

My certainty in the future is decaying.



Any of the decisions I've made yet

Have not come to a resolution

They hang on the line still wet

Waiting for the drying evolution

I can't figure out if I'm doing it right

Although I'm trying with all my might

Am I sending the signals all right?

Or do you see my screws as just not tight?



I'm making myself so confused

I can't figure out how I'm supposed to feel

My being is with you infused

Sometimes I feel in my head, my heel

I don't know how to deal with this

Everything's so mixed up

I don't know how or for what to wish

I feel like a newborn pup.



The feeling I joke about openly

Everyday no matter what's said

Denying it if not said jokingly

Denying it with words that are dead

Quickly joking when I've said too much

Denying myself and you at every turn

I feel like at any moment I'll mess up this double dutch

Every night leads me to yearn.



This confusion is so intense

I might be charged with incompetence

Am I doing this right at all?

Will you answer me if I call?



I don't know anymore, I'm so confused...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is another of my feelings leaving as they are put on the page.

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Its Just the Little Things You Do

It's the flip of the hair

The suddenly becoming aware

The quirky little smile

The putting up with me for a while.



Stealing my shoes

Erasing my blues

Checking your phone

Hearing you moan.



It's the little things you do

That draw me so close to you

It's the little things you say

That always brighten my day.



The funny little stories

The triumphs and the glories

The future bright ahead

The evenings full of dread.



The way you move your hand

The way you direct you imaginary band

The way you pick on what I say

How you always manage to get your way.



It's the little things you do

That make me feel a part of you

It's the little ways you move

That make me fit into your groove.



Listening to your music

Arguing over who can choose it

Quipping about others

Comparing our mothers.



Fooling around with Pokerino

Talking over what we know

Eating that tempting french fry

Helping me voice my cry.



Its the little things you do

Its the little things you say

Its the little things you do

Its the little ways you move.



Its little old you.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem I wrote recently to let out feelings that I was trying to hide.  The words on the page seemed to lift a weight off my chest, especially as I put memories to paper.

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Lately

Folder: 
2007-2009 Poems

Lately, I feel something creepy.

That same feeling one February night

Friday the 13th, under the moonlight.

Staring at someone, who became my Somebody.



Lately, it feels like there is a new me.

No, it is not my new haircut- shorty!

An amazing presence around me

Makes this heart 'thump' excitedly.



Could it be?

That lately, your eyes are secretly on me?

Don't be afraid to let loose and get close

I want you near, I want you here.



Lately, I've been smiling and laughing.

Did you notice the crazy things I'm doing?

When you're around, I'm shinning,

At the end of the day, it's you that I'm missing.



What would you do if I tell you?

That lately, I can feel it too?

There is no space for confusion

With your sweet words and thoughtful actions.



Lately, you are a mystery.

But you save me from my misery.

Don't be afraid to feel.

Don't be afraid to get real.



"So many words are still left unsaid,

But I just know our hearts know everything.

If you are too confused to understand-

Just let our eyes meet."

Author's Notes/Comments: 

~jerlin 20Aug08

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inviseble

Am I invisible to you,

cant you even see what i do?

I sit here and think, all about you.

And what do you do?



You walk by me each day,

and dont even say hey.

do i even excised?

without making a fite?



can't you see what i feel,

and yes it is real,

I love you my dear,

but you dont even know im here.

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Incessant Shame

Folder: 
Dear Mr. Blank

I run and run but I can't seem to escape

This endless trail of you.

I remembered to forget, but I couldn't,

Cause I know you think of me too.

You've got me chained by the neck

You're like heroin, and I'm addicted.

You're the one I could never leave

No matter how much pain you've inflicted.



You would use me, abuse me,

And terrify me profusely.

You’d seduce me, then refuse me,

And turn around and reuse me,



You reduced me to nothing,

Just one big depressed mess.

You took everything you wanted,

And left me the rest.



But I loved you, you see, More than anyone could.

And I sacrificed more for you than anyone should.

And I think of you too much for my own damn good.

But you see, I’m still addicted..



You’re the poison in my bottle, you’re the concrete in my veins.

You’re the reason shit between us is never gonna change.

Oh, You’re the poison in my bottle, you’re the concrete in my veins.

You’re the reason NOTHNG is ever gonna change.



This overly-constant need for you

And willingness to bleed for you

Complimented by the greed in you

Leads me to believe I need to be freed from you

But I’m latched to the hope that you’ll love me too

If I can hold out the rest of the battle and wait for you.



Because of you, I’ve no originality

I’ve lost ALL individuality.

You corrupted my innocent morality

And left me with a string of hope,

That one day my phone will ring,

And you’ll throw me down a rope

And rescue me from this empty sea

That’s full of promises you made to me

That one day we would be together, living happily..

The End.



You’re the poison in my bottle, you’re the concrete in my veins.

You’re the reason shit between us is never gonna change.

Oh, You’re the poison in my bottle, you’re the concrete in my veins.

You’re the reason shit between us is never gonna change.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

You ever have someone who won't leave your head, no matter how much everyone says theyre bad for you, no matter how wrong you know it is, you just can't get them out of your life.. Nor do you want to, deep down.

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Observation and Freewrite

I can't tear my eyes
away from the machine
as it drives and rolls
steadily through my dreams.

This materialization
of intelligent, high design
has also caught my fascinations,
not only my eyes.

I wonder if I could
ever truly understand
its purpose here
so close to my hands.

As I reach out to touch
this beautiful work of art
I find with heavy heart
that it's just a step too far.

I envy, in a way,
this wondrous, luminous thing,
that perhaps is only meant to be
a free-moving being.

Even more so, I wonder
if maybe that's all we are,
machines with both
wisdom of the head
and wisdom of the heart.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

...

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falling

so we started walking out in the rain

we didn’t talk just walked



sometimes i feel like i owe the rain my love and life

i stand in the cold drops of water and they fall on my lips



i want to fall into the clear blue driblets that is now a giant pool



i close my eyes and feel the raindrops fall

like rose petals fall from the dying flower

the petals keep falling and i just spin in them...



until you bring me back to reality again

and we just keep walking again

you smile at me

and i know what your thinking

she loves the petals

but you dont say a word

you only say it with your eyes



his eyes have the look of the rain in them and i love it

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Unspoken love

Folder: 
Seans poems

Loved for years,

here by your side.

Those three words,

i dared to say.

Feel the same,

or just a friendship.

Say or not say,

those words of love,

  or stay in your hidden shadow.

Sixty years later im at your funeral,

time has taken you from me.

In your will you wrote the truth,

i wait for you,

  you wait for me.

All these years with words unnoticed,

those words unspoken,

   never spilled out.

I say them now,

i love you.

Now all that remains are tears.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This one was not personal but it was the longest one to write. please critique this poem if you liked or disliked this poem.

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