Abuse

Broken Bones

She brings her hand across my face
It hurts
But its nothing new to me
She walks away
I think its over
But then she is back
A bat in hand

I cant do anything
I lay there and take it
One hit to me
The side
Then another to the face
Blood covers the floor

My dad stands and watches
Doing nothing
Letting this happen
How could he
Does he not love me

Then I black out at the words
You little bitch
The pain is crippling
Dont touch me I think to my self

I wake in the hospital
My heart pounds
My mouth wired shut

A broken jaw
And 2 broken ribs

That fucking bitch!

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tags:

Mary Had a Little... Bear?

Mary had a little…Bear?

By Emily Marshall

“For all those lambs out there who need protection from wolves.”

THE CAST
Ted Amaro: 38 years old, mean, heartless, abusive, big and burly, black hair, works at a lumber mill
Ruth Amaro: 34 years old, afraid of husband, sweet, caring, petite, red hair
Bear: 14 years old, brown hair, kind, protective, stands up for what is right
Mary Amaro: 13 years old, not afraid to fight back, caring, black hair, petite
Lucifer (Luke) Amaro: 16 years old, mean, heartless, abusive, black hair, very dark eyes

THE SETTING
This story takes place in the early 1900’s in Wautoma, Wisconsin. We start out in a hospital and then 14 years later the story takes us to the cabin of the Amaro family, the countryside, and the barn.

Scene 1

(The lights go up in a heavily occupied delivery room. We can hear the screams of a woman whom we cannot see. Nurses are rushing back and forth. We finally see the doctor pass a huge, bloody mess of a baby to the nurse and hear one final cry from the woman as the baby is rushed out of the room)

Woman: (agonizing breathe. Scream.) Bear!!! (She collapses.)

(Doctor checks her pulse, shakes his head, and a nurse covers her with the blanket. They all leave the room as we finally see the bed and the woman covered in a bloody white sheet.)

BLACKOUT

Scene 2

(Curtains come up on the inside of a cabin. There is a fire going in the fire place. A little girl, around 13 years old, is sitting at the kitchen table eating porridge, while an older woman, 34 years old, is bustling about the kitchen. In the corner near the outside door, stage left, a boy around 14 is sitting, staring at the wall. A man, roughly 38, comes barging in from the outside, slamming the door into the chair the boy is sitting on, knocking it and the boy over. The boy picks the chair back up and sits back down, wincing in pain.)

Ted: (shouting) Where’s the boy? (Crosses to Ruth, grabs her shoulders, and shakes her. She starts crying and is in too much distress to answer)
Bear: (stands up and steps to other side of chair.) Mr. Amaro, I’m right here. Please don’t hurt her…
Ted: (Shoves Ruth into counter. Crosses over to stage left while talking.) You listen here boy, tell me what you did to Luke. I know you done something ‘cause he wasn’t like that yesterday. Tell me! (Grabs his shoulders and shakes him.)
Bear: I done what he deserved! He was pushin’ Mary around and I was just protectin’ her, sir! I weren’t tryin’ to hurt him much… (Ted pushed Bear away and starts walking toward Mary.)
Ted: Mary, is this true?
Mary: (She looks up from her porridge and we now see that she has a black eye and a swollen lip.) Pa, we was just playin’ around. It’s nuttin' much. Bear just wanted to join in on the fun. Right? (She looks pleadingly at Bear.)
Bear: Y-yes, sir. That’s what I was doin’. We was just havin’ fun.
Ted: (Sits at table.) Well boy, don’t go havin’ no more “fun” with Luke or I will have to have “fun” with you! Ruth, where’s my coffee?
Ruth: C-c-coming T-ted. H-here you are… (Sets coffee on table in front of Ted as Luke runs through the door and grabs Mary’s arm. We can clearly see that he isn’t hurt at all apart from a slight bruising to his jaw.)
Luke: C’mon, Mary! We are gonna be late for school!
Mary: Lemme go! I’ll be right out; I just need to put my bowl away.
Luke: Well hurry it up. I’ll wait outside fer ya. (He releases Mary’s arm and glares at Bear as he walks out the door.)
Mary: Mama, I’ll be home right after school to help you with the laundry. (She goes over to Ruth and kisses her cheek.) I love you. See ya later! (Goes to the door and motions for Bear to follow her shortly. She leaves the house.)
Ted: Don’t just stand there, boy! Go do your chores like yer sposed to!
Bear: Yes, sir. (Goes outside.)
Ruth: (Ruth sets food in front of Ted and in front of her own chair.) Must you be so hard on the boy? The world has been hard enough on…
Ted: (Interrupts in a mocking voice.) ‘The world has been hard enough on him.’ Bah! It’s been hard on us too! We wouldn’t even have to take care of the boy if your minx of a friend hadn’t gotten herself knocked up by who even knows! He got no father and no mother and of course she just HAD to write a letter leaving the brat to you. If it weren’t for that letter we’d be a much happier family!
Ruth: I-I only m-meant that maybe, since he’s gettin’ older, we could give him th-that loft in the barn, ya know where the cats sleep, t-to sleep in. Th-then at least he’d be outta our h-hair in the h-house…
Ted: (For the first time, a smile brightens his face.) Why, Ruth! That’s a wonderful idea! Sometimes I can barely tell you think, but this idea is perfect. (Kisses Ruth.) Outta our hair… I gotta get off to the mill. You tell the boy when he comes back from his chores that he’s now stayin’ in the barn. No more of this mat being a nuisance on the kitchen floor.
Ruth: I-I will. G-good bye! (Ted leaves. Ruth begins to clean up the kitchen. She puts plates in the dish water and starts to sweep. She lets out a sigh.) Oh, Lily. I wish you were still here. Life has been so terrible without you. Ted was nicer to me and actually loved me… We had so many plans! (Pulls crinkled old letter from her pocket.) ‘My dearest Ruth, Oh how I miss you so! I hope little Luke is growing big and strong. My child will be so lucky to have a playmate around the same age as he! I strongly believe he will be a boy though my doctor told me not to get my hopes up as it could very well be a girl. My due date is soon coming around soon. When is your child due? I’m sure you are so excited to bring another little one into the world! I know that I’m excited for my first. Please let Ted know that I’m doing fine. I know he disapproves of me having this child since I’m not married but what can a girl do? I love this child more than anything and he isn’t even born yet! Oh what a large capacity we humans have for love! The main reason I’m writing to you is if something should happen to me, I would like you to care for my little one. I trust none but you to take care of him. I have named you the Godmother. I doubt anything will happen, but I want this security just in case. I don’t think I would be able to stand seeing my child mistreated at an orphanage! Please take care of him as if he were your own. With deepest love, Lily.’ Oh, Lily! How I wish with all my heart you were still here! (By this time she is sitting in a chair with broom still in hand. The letter is placed over her heart as her last lines are delivered.)

BLACKOUT

Scene 3

(The curtains open on a countryside scene. Rolling hills, a wooden fence, and a pasture full of sheep line the road as Luke and Mary enter stage left.)

Luke: C’mon Mary. You walk too gosh darn slow.
Mary: My shoe needs tied! I’ll get there when I get there. (She bends down to tie shoe.)
Luke: I said c’mon! (Grabs her arm trying to pull her with him but she refuses. He pushes her away, knocking her down, and walks off the stage going to school.)
Mary: I’m a tough girl, I don’t need to cry. I’m a tough girl, I don’t need to cry. (Spoken as she brushes off and ties her shoe.) I’m a tough girl, I don’t need to…
Bear: (Enters.) Mary! (Interrupts.) What happened?
Mary: It was nothin’. I’m fine, Bear. (Stands up and leans against fence.) You know what I think? I think we should all be like sheep. They just get to mosey around all day, livin’ the good life; no worries, no fear, and the only pain is gettin’ caught to get sheared. Yah, that’d be the good life…
Bear: But ya know Mary, the wolves sometimes come an’ grab the sheep up at night. Farmers find bloody sheep all the time.
Mary: There are plenty of wolves going after us, too. (Bear looks confused.) I’m so happy I have you to talk to Bear! Luke is too much like Pa and gettin’ meaner every day. I just don’t know what’s wrong with him.
Bear: Don’t worry Mary, I will keep you safe. I’m… (Looks at sheep.) I’m a farmer! And sometimes the farmers have to shoot the wolves to protect their sheep.
Mary: Are ya sayin’ I’m a sheep? (Chuckles.) I think this sheep can protect herself mostly. It’s Mama who may need more protectin’. Wolves don’t scare me. ‘Specially when a Bear goes after the wolves. I best be gettin’ to school. Thanks fer meetin’ me ‘cause I know it cuts into yer chore time.
Bear: It’s nothin’ Mary. I get my chores done well before Mr. Amaro gets home. Don’t ferget to bring your reader home so I can look at it, please.
Mary: Bye, Bear. (Hugs him.) I won’t ferget it. (Bear exits stage left. She looks after him.) I love you. (Exits stage right.)

BLACKOUT

Scene 4

(We are inside the cabin once again. School has just let out. Ruth is sitting in a rocking chair by the fireplace, knitting while watching the soup cook. Mary walks in holding her arm, her hair in her face. Luke walks merrily in after her, kissing Ruth on the cheek as he heads stage right, to his bedroom.)

Ruth: Well your brother seems awfully cheerful t’day. How was school, Mary?
Mary: I-it was f-fine, Ma. (She looks up and we see she has a bruised cheek as well as her black eye and swollen lip.) I-I f-fell d-during lunch hour. I th-think my arm i-is broken. (Tears in her eyes.)
Ruth: (jumps out of her chair, setting the knitting on the table as she goes to her daughter.) Mary? Are ya sure ya fell? This don’t look like a fall coulda done it. (Gets a wet towel and wiping dirt of her arm.)
Mary: (pulls arm away.) Ow! That hurts, ma!
Ruth: My poor baby! Did yer brother have anything to do with this? You can tell me. Yer pa ain’t around right now.
Mary: (sees Luke in the doorway of his bedroom, peeking out.) N-no, m-ma. I t-told ya I f-fell. (Openly crying.)
Ruth: Okay, I’ll believe ya this once. Let me know if ya fall agin. (Grief stricken.) Now go out ta Bear. He can fix ya up a sling in no time.
Mary: (Wipes off tears.) Okay, ma. I’ll help set the table when I git back. (Exits.)

(Ruth sits back down and starts her knitting again, staring blankly into the fire.)

BLACKOUT

Scene 5

(The barn. We see Bear setting up his living quarters in the middle of some bales of hay. He is whistling and humming, Buffalo Gals.)

Mary: Bear? Are you there, Bear? (Enters the barn.)
Bear: (wipes hands of dust.) I’m over here! (Still whistling, and then he sees Mary, abruptly stopping.) M-Mary??? What happened to you? (Brushes hand across her bruised cheek.)
Mary: I f-fell during lunch today. (She says this as she refuses to look at Bear.)
Bear: I don’t believe a word of that bull. Your brother did this to ya, didn’t he? Tell me, Mary. (She is looking at the ground, not saying anything.) Look at yer arm! Ya couldn’t of done that by just fallin’. Stay here while I go get ya somethin’ fer that. (Mary watches as Bear goes into one of the closets, looking for cloth and some wood. Luke enters the barn.)
Luke: Why hello, Mary! Didn’t fancy on seein’ you out here. Don’t ya got some places to set at the table? Oh, ya gettin’ yer arm fixed? Won’t do you no good ya know. It’ll probably jest break agin knowin’ how clumsy ya are. (Grabs her arm.)
Mary: (Screams in pain.) Luke, let go of me!
Bear: (from inside the closet.) Mary? Mary, are you o… (Comes back into the main area of the barn and sees Luke.) Luke.
Luke: Hello there, Bear. Gonna fix up my dear old sister’s arm are ya? What else do ya do for my dear old sister, huh?
Bear: I don’t know what yer talkin’ about. (Stares at Luke as he walks over to Mary and pulls her arm out of his grasp.) Go to yer ma and stay there.
Mary: No, Bear! I won’t leave ya! (Grasping her arm.)
Bear: Mary, go to yer ma.
Luke: (Sneering.) Ya, Mary, go do what yer “husband” says.
Mary: But… Bear? (Pleading look from Bear.) Okay, fine. (Next line is spoken as she leaves.) Ya know, Luke? Yer jist like pa. (Anger is on her face as she spits at his feet and leaves the barn, running for the house.)
Luke: Alone at last. What should we do first? Send each other tokens or just git down to it? I vote fer the last one.
Bear: We don’t hafta fight, ya know.
Luke: Oh the big bad Bear is afwaid of a little bitty wolf. (Grins maliciously.)
Bear: I never said I was afraid. How did you end up like this, Luke?
Luke: Oh, I think it just came naturally ya know, with my pa bein’ how he is.
Bear: I’ve heard yer pa wasn’t always like. Ya don’t hafta be like him.
Luke: Oh yes, I do. Yer the reason fer all our troubles. If yer whore of a mother hadn’t of gotten pregnant, she woulda never died and pa wouldn’t have taken his frustration of her dyin’ out on ma and me. Yer mother didn’t want to be married, oh no, that wasn’t fer her. So she decided bein’ friends with pa was better than nothin’. Pa didn’t know how much he loved her and not my ma until she got pregnant with you. That was when he became how he is now. All because of you. (Lunges for Bear. An epic fight takes place, involving a pitchfork, some hay bales, and many fists colliding. The fight ends with Luke lying against a hay bale, knocked unconscious. We can see that Bear has scratches here and there, along with a bloody lip and a torn shirt and pants. He limps out of the barn and heads for the house.)

BLACKOUT

Scene 6

(Mary and Ruth are both sitting nervously at the table, waiting to see who won. Bear enters and goes to the nearest chair and sits down. Mary gets him water.)

Bear: Luke is out in the barn. I made sure he weren’t dead. (Exhausted.)
Ruth: Let’s just pray that Ted don’t come home anytime soon. (Whistling is heard in the background.) Well speak of the devil.
Ted: (Barges into cabin and sits at table.) Well where’s my food, woman? Where are all the plates?
Ruth and Mary: One s-second. (Ruth goes to get the soup off the fire and Mary gets plates and sets the table with her good arm.)
Ted: Well what happened to ya, Mary? Fall agin? (Chuckles.)
Bear: (Speaks from his chair.) Well actually, no sir. It was Luke. He done that to her.
Ted: Speakin’ of Luke, where is that fine son of mine? (Everyone goes quiet. He becomes angry) I said, where’s my boy?
Mary: He’s in the barn, pa.
Ted: And why’s he in the barn?
Mary: (Stares at floor.) B-Because he…
Ted: Because he what, Mary? (Grabs her chin and makes her look up. We see that Mary is crying. He pushes her away.) Boy, where’s Lucifer? (Goes over to Bear.)
Bear: (Looks right into Ted’s eyes.) Like Mary said, he’s in the barn.
Ted: Then maybe you can give me a better answer. Why?
Bear: Because that’s where I left him. (Pandemonium breaks loose as Ted goes to hit Bear. Throughout the scene, Ruth has been inching her way towards Bear. Instead of hitting Bear, we see that Ted has actually hit Ruth, knocking her to the floor. Mary goes over and helps Ruth stand up. Ruth is looking angrily at Ted)
Ruth: I’m done bein’ afraid of you Ted Amaro. I’m done sittin’ here bein’ silent as I watch you corrupt our son and hit me and Mary and Bear. We don’t deserve this. My baby don’t deserve to be raised by a father like you.
Ted: You’re pregnant?
Ruth: That news don’t involve you. You may be the father but you sure as hell won’ be the pa. Goodbye, Ted. I’m takin’ Mary and Bear with me. You can keep Luke with you here so I don’t hafta worry about this startin’ all over agin. Come on you two. (They walk out the door. Ted sits down in front of the fire and stares blankly into it.)
Mary: (Offstage.) Can we raise sheep, ma?
Ruth: (Offstage.) Sure can, with a Bear like this to protect them from wolves.

THE END

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GO AHEAD!!

Go Ahead!

GO AHEAD!! Ruin your body, destroy your organs from the inside out.

Hurt the people around you, abuse the ones you love.

Kill innocent kids riding their bikes or sitting in the back of mom’s mini van.

GO AHEAD!! Risk loosing your job, your house, your car and even your marriage.

Teach your kids how to be a lowlife, pass out in front of the TV drooling at 9 PM.

Miss out on family vacations and outings, even your son’s first starting QB varsity game.

You are the one who suffers.

So, GO AHEAD!! Loose your friendships and your past relationships.

When you go home, break your nice things and threaten your wife.

Hold her down and choke her until she cries out that she can’t breathe

GO AHEAD!! Miss all your son’s football games,

Except for one where you show up yelling obscenities and picking fights.

Forget your daughter’s dance recital and show up on Sunday incoherently hoping you are on time.

You are the one who suffers.

Just remember, you are not the one who has to clean up the broken glass, or mop up the puke in the bathroom.

You are not the one who has to perform without any family in the audience, or the one who has his first kick off with no father to cheer him on.

You are not the one who has neck and back pain or has to make up stories about where your bruises came from so that your husband doesn't go to jail.

And you are not the one who feels bad about herself because her husband calls her names and ridicules her.

You are not the one who has to pay the probation bills and court costs.

You are not the one who has to lie to others and say things at home are fine.

You are not the one who suffers.

Alcohol kills your family

Murdered for eating a popsicle

It just goes to show how much people have sunk.
A ten year old girl was found murdered in a trunk.
That poor girl was really in a pickle.
She was killed for eating a popsicle.
Her Grandma, aunt and cousins constantly subjected her to abuse.
When the law gets done, I hope they turn them every way but loose.
They killed her because she ate that popsicle without getting permission.
It was horrible to have to live under those terrifying conditions.
Just thinking about this gets me and many other people riled.
I hope they get the gas chamber for what they did to that child.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Sadly this is a true story.

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Tortured Love

You say you'll change
But you never will
You hold my heart in torture
And I love you still

You beat and broke me
Forever I am yours
But you'll never hold me
I'll not open the doors

I'll always love your good side
But that does not mean you'll get in
That good side is fake
It will never win

You are just a fake
An illusion in my heart
Even all the promises
Can not make us unpart

I try to release you from my heart
But it will never work
I love that good side but
I'll keep in my hearts cork

You will never seep in again
My heart will have you
But never all of you
Having you is something I can't do

That good side of you that I hold so dear
Is forever gone and dead
Even though you're just the shell
I can't get you out of my head

You haunt me day and night
I dream of your torture
And it makes me wake in fright
But that good side I still adore

In the night you trick me
You coax me to yours arms
Then you slash my face
It's like you set off my alarms

I want to beleive you are true
But it's something unreal
My love has died
and his shell makes my heart still reel

The torture that you've done to me
Is something no one should feel
The rapes and beatings
The still feel so real

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is about my soon to be exhusband

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MY PATH TO BITTERNESS

People always ask,
Why I'm so distant and cold,
The answer to the question,
Starts at four years old.

 

A witness to abuse,
My mother beat like hell,
Too young to do anything,
While tears of fear fell.

 

Growing up between two parents,
Bitter words between them both,
Planting a seed of confusion and pain,
That swelled like a cancerous growth.

 

In school I was a target,
An outcast with no friends,
Silently suffering my younger days,
As my sanity slowly bends.

 

Living like this,
For several years,
Though not alone,
For mother was there to dry my tears.

 

Until one day,
A man I will not name,
Came to our lives and broke things,
Then put on me the blame.

 

My mother the fellow victim,
Who couldn't see through his lies,
Took his side through it all,
My life at home I now despise.

 

Got fed up and moved out,
To live with my father and his wife,
But things only got worse,
And made me hate my life.

 

In school it was no different,
Plus home life now hell,
For my stepmother didn't like me,
This I know too well.

 

She was mentally abusive,
Rarely calling me by name,
Rather, "Little fucker", "Dirtbag", "Bastard",
From her mouth constantly came.

 

My father sat in silence,
Or sometimes took her side,
So I swallowed all my pain and anger,
Holding it deep inside.

 

To this day I still hold it in,
My means to survive,
Like a pool of acid in me,
Slowly eating me alive.

 

Now you know the reason,
Of how I came to be me,
A prisoner to my memories,
Never to be set free.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

true story

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Quieting Rage

When children bear pain
Absent defenders sought
But wanting births monstrous rage

No
Haiku will not do
Will not lend voice to such rage
Will not give life to such creatures
As needed to right the wrongs
And heal the deep burning wounds

Yet sonnets are lovely, perhaps it seems
Melancholy songs of burdening woe
But inky scratch on torn paper is mean
Befit the crime but a sonnet? oh no

There are but words
Of hate and violence
Of revenge and justice

(Vengeance is mine)

There are cries for grace
Pleas for peace

(It is finished)

Does this child bear pain
Does this victim seek advocates

(My burden is light)

I cannot carry, my back has grown weak
I struggle to lift leg after leg

(Decrease, I’ll increase)

What victim remains
When all justice is poured
And all mercy portioned out
And all that’s left is my own pride

(Pride goes before a fall)

And thus the greatest adversary of all

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Stronger than you

I hold you hand, you break free.
I don't understand, don't you want me?
I'm your baby, your little girl.
Daddy, shouldn't I be your entire world?
Who is that woman, daddy I don't understand.
Why would you rather hold her hand.
She looks at you and and then looks at me,
Could she be the one you want and not me?

How could you daddy, it's just not right!
I was supposed to be your little girl, your shining light!
Now you want her and have forgotten about me,
Two can play the same game, you just wait and see.

You ran off with that other woman, leaving mommy alone.
How could you, how could you be so cold!
She cries every night wishing you'll come home.
But I know the truth, your with her now and left us on our own.

How many years has it been that faithful day?
I know not, but I don't care either way...
I live with you and her now, but I hate it here.
She hates me and she uses my fear.

That witch, oh that witch! How I wish you could see,
The horrible ways that she's treating me.
She says she loves me, but that's a lie!
I think she would rather see me die.

She cares about her kids, which I see no problem in
But she taught her kids to hate me, but I won't give in.
This is my best chance for an education that's worth my while,
I can take pain, I think I'll stay for a while.

You don't scare me any more witch, that much is true.
You hurt me in anyway, I'll call child abuse on you.
I know my powers now, I'm not afraid to use them.
Just wait and see, until then

I'll bide my time and wait until you make your move.
I won't back down, I'm stronger than all of you!!!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I made this poem when I was really little, I found it again and revised it. Let me know what you think.

long night (revisited)

Time overlooks this shadow

 

A pause

 

Contaminating our air.

 

Whisper loud in the absent breeze,

This cottonwool chafe catches on a familiar misery.

 

Latex words assimilate my thoughts,

Still hollow as straws. 

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