Rand

Penance

Folder: 
Confessions

I tried to change

I tried to gain your approval

Tried to bring back the smile you had when we first met

and the fire that kept us alive for hours in dark heavens

I tried to turn back time and find my purity

Bowed down and prayed to the Divine

Burned my Nietzsche books

and turned to your Ignatian rules

Climbed the thousand steps of El Salvador

on my knees

Lit two candles in San Pedro Church

and prayed

Abstained myself from Rand and Marx

Silenced the waves of the seas

inside my soul,

the loud beating of my dying heart,

the whispers of the cold wind

Dressed black on Friday nights

Slapped my cheeks with verses

of my sins

Recited the rites of holiness 

to conjure your love

Dried up my eyes from hellish cries...

I swallowed you

Your blood, flesh, and tears

Like a sacrament, I welcomed it all —

even the dark clouds that moved 

around you

Didn't I hear the heavens and saw

the angels in you?

Still, my demons are here to stay and say,

Why am I still not enough for you?

How can be enough for you?

Random Drabble 5

I see that life has carved wisdom into your words and mind

To be humble enough to know that none of us know the true answer that keeps us in line

That only God knows

He doesn’t want us to know everything

Because we can't comprehend His meaning of life

Life that is so overdone by society

We try to see what we want to see

but no one really knows that we are just lost in our own

Understanding of what we think life is

Can't you see?

I hope this isn't to complicated

Just wanted to express what God truly is

Not imaginative

A voice

A reason

Let's hope we can continue this

How far have you gone to know God?

Do you really want to abandon your comfort zone?

It'll make you uncomfortable

To know that what the world has brainwashed us to believe

This society, too oblivious to see

The damage we do

The devil is among us, don't you know?

Don't go just yet, I know this was just supposed to be a test

But now I am curious about your next steps