Wild thrashing, 

Sincere begging,

On my knees, pleading,

For this drug, shaking, feining,

My dying body, withdrawing, bleeding,

My heart, my mind, fighting,

Closed eyes, finally seeing,

Refusing, in believing,

Wanting, no, needing,

To endure this beating,

This feeling, I'm hating,

This life, contemplating,

This light, is fading,

Chin up, like a lady,

Show strength, little weakling,

Loud, yet muffled screaming,

No tears now, no crying,

Only truth here, no lying,

My mind, I'm sacrificing,

To this drug, so enticing,

This lighter, lighting,

This inhale, adrenalizing,

Out from the darkness, no longer hiding,

Clear thoughts, abandoning,

This monster, I'm becoming,

This body, is dying,

My lips, are cracking,

But this is only, the beginning,

This drug, my body is absorbing,

The high, only slightly alarming,

As my body slowly begins, ascending, 

The floating and energy, overhelming, never ending,

Every touch, electrofying,

Feeling strong, overpowering,

But that's what it does, before the decending, 

Before the good begins to start fading,

It's almost weakening, tiring,

I'm just waiting for the speeding,

To come to it's ending,

So I can hold it to my mouth, once more feining,

Light the bowl again, and continue feeding.



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1/2 an addict, 1/2 disgusted

Personal Favorites

Look up, I force my gaze up
I face that unwanted reflection
The hated man, the other half
Still addicted, Dependent on meth
The realization hits again
That I and Him, The same man
Night and Day difference
Pros and Cons I weigh
His motivation beats me to it
It is a sickness and I am sick
Of it of not wanting only to want again
Of being unable to manage
Everyday tasks and hobbies I loved
Creativity seems to visit
When it’s the good shit…
Again, That man before me now
God damn this fucking mirror
He knows how badly I hate him,
He feels no where near the same
Content with his poison
But I can see it in his eyes,
He knows that it isn’t right
Will he help me quit this time?

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My mind is awake
it never sleeps
Keeps me awake at night
and in the day, weak

I can't control
where it goes
My morbid thought
only my mind knows

The messed up things
I like to do
I turn my heart off
when I go through

the things I drink
The things I take
the happiness
I try to create

My bleeding nose
My darkened eyes
Hide my apathy
Behind lies

The edge of cliff
way past the line
and no one can save me from me
this time.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this last year for a friend of the family. rip.